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Why Is My Husband Mean To Me & Nice To Everyone Else – Overworked Wife Asks
Oct 23, 2016 – My Husband Is Mean To Me & Nice To Everyone Else – Overworked Wife Cries Out
I am a working mother of 4, married to an upwardly mobile professional in the science and technology sector. I have been battling with an issue in my home for so long and I have tried all means I can to resolve it.
Nothing seems to work. I dated hubby for five years and we have been married seven years. Hubby is nice and kind to everyone except me! The issue is he complains about everything I do and nothing seems to ever be right. He scolds me most times for any little issue and I have talked to him about this, so much I am beginning to sound like a broken record.
We both have long commutes from work, but I struggle to get back home early to attend to the children. I have a nanny who comes in during the week. He says he doesn’t want a live-in help who will live with us. Aside the constant scolding is his inability and unwillingness to help with anything.
I am running from pillar to post trying to catch up with cooking for the week, housework and the kids while hubby throws up his feet reading the dailies or watching football. This has led to me resenting him and inevitably refusing sex. I am at my wits’ end as I live a tired and constantly unhappy life while my partner doesn’t seem to understand why. I really don’t know what to do.
Adunni from Ikoyi
Bok
October 23, 2016 at 6:46 AM
if this is your picture then you look like a stubborn naugthy woman
EGBERRI MAMA 1
October 23, 2016 at 6:54 AM
WHY LAMENTING WHEN U HV A BOLD SOLUTION IN FRONT OF U ?WHO TOLD U ,U CAN SERVE THREE MASTERS AT ONCE ? UR HUBBY , CHILDREN AND JOB ? THROW AWAY D JOB VERY FAST . CONCENTRATE ON UR HUSBAND AND CHILDREN. IF AFTER LOOSING UR JOB ,HE DOESN,T PROVIDE FOR D FAMILY FINANCIALLY -WHAT VISITS MEN LIKE HIM WILL VISIT HIM.MAY BE HE WANTS U STAY IN D KITCHEN AND FEED HIM ,WHY WORKING ?.NO PROBLEM WITHOUT SOLUTION.
Yusuf
October 23, 2016 at 7:23 AM
Madam keep praying, I have similar issue as my wife doesn’t appreciate what ever I did for the all family staying at home is a hell, going out for huntting for money is headache. Complain a lot
Ome
October 23, 2016 at 7:29 AM
Am going through same, his is my husband but no kids his attitude towards me make me wonder if I should go away
Ome
October 23, 2016 at 7:29 AM
Am going through same, his is my husband but no kids his attitude towards me make me wonder if I should go away
Joy
October 23, 2016 at 9:57 AM
Maybe he sees u as his househelp not as à wife some men marry for different reasons u Know .
onwasky
October 23, 2016 at 11:48 AM
You have to be a vitreous woman, what you r doing is your job u don’t have to complain get used to ur domestic work and hold ur family at peace while u still pray for your husband to change. Time Will come when your kiddies will take over the work nothing last forever. Don’t give up, hold on and hold out.
pat
October 23, 2016 at 1:26 PM
It sounds like your husband has become your father. You have let it go on for too long. You need to sit him down and let him know how you feel. You can’t cope with being the cook, nanny, maid etc. You are in a partnership. If he cannot physically help you then you employ a full time housekeeper/ nanny. Its not your job to do all. If you continue this way, you will breakdown and need hospitalization.
I live abroad, I am married with kids, I looked after, raised my kids and diid everything like I was single. Me , myself and I. No help. I only asked for his help when I couldn’t physically do it. I did this because I didn’t want to rely on anyone and disappointed.
You need to arranged your life and that of the kids. Use calendars, cook a meal or two in advance. Let your demi aupair do a lot of work regarding the kids. Do a few things in the morning if you can and give your kuds chores to do.
Once you ars on top of things, and in control, it gets easier and better.
Believe you me it does. Don’t withold sex from him, do it when you can. Also let him know you don’t appreciate the way he talks to you. Your his wife not child.
Good luck.
Endure
October 23, 2016 at 3:51 PM
Allow your channel of communication to be open with him. Continue to plead that he tell you why he has been acting that way towards you. Continue to show him your kindness and how much you care for him. Don’t deprive him of sex. Pray to God to help you out. With time you will get over this marital challenge and gain back your husband.
And let me lovingly warn you not to give any attention to other men because of the current hit and challenges you are passing through in your home. Don’t allow his shortcomings to move you to cheat on him as that could completely worsen,undermine,endangered your marital life and council your precious relationship with God. So don’t ever dream of that. Rather,focus your attention in playing your role as a wife at home even though for now he’s not listening to you.
Whenever he scold you,don’t retaliate. Continue to restrain yourself in your reply when you sometimes faced with his thoughtless remarks. Continue to do what he likes best. Again put everything in prayer to God. All things are possible with him.
He will be compel to change his ways sooner or latter having seen your unwavering love,effort and unrelenting sacrifice towards the smooth running of the family. Madam be patient with him.
May God be with you and your family.
Duchess
October 23, 2016 at 6:23 PM
I will advise you to watch “fireproof” seriously the movie will do you a great help.
fifelomo
October 23, 2016 at 9:03 PM
@Bok u made me laugh out loud.
tina
October 24, 2016 at 8:10 AM
@boks dis is not a laughing matter,please be serious for once.
Jilo
October 24, 2016 at 5:46 PM
No. 1 don’t in marriage is sex depriving. You cannot improve the situation if you deprive him of sex plus your relationship will continue to drift apart. There is no marriage without up and down. Please try to go over Endure contribution above. That is the best advise you can get for now and it will really helps you a lot.
sola olaniyi
October 25, 2016 at 11:00 AM
you’re not serious @Bok
spayor
October 25, 2016 at 12:15 PM
Jesus knows all of our weaknesses take it to the lord in prayer…
mzungu
December 17, 2016 at 10:25 AM
Thats where Creativity chips in. A woman rather a lady needs to bring something new to pull her man out of ”looking outside”. Is it Kitchen affair? Is it making love styles? So much in the bracket. Try to bring something new in the table.
Kay
February 3, 2017 at 1:50 PM
I know my dad helped my mother do chores and take care of kids and he was in the military,so this is not about man/women work or chores.This sounds like disrespectful and laziness!
Lily
April 2, 2017 at 12:51 AM
my husband was always cheating on me and even spends nights out. sometimes he even leave for the entire week end, pretending that he has work, but i know he just go meet women, my life was lame until, i asked (manifestspellcast@gmail. com) to cast a spell for me. so that my husband can be a good man and after his spell, my husband changed automatically, he now spends much more time with me and the kids and we’re a family again.