2 Time Suicide Survivor Shares Encouraging Story Of Her Life, Says People Commit Suicide When Pain Exceeds Their Ability To Cope With It
By Popular NG commentator,
I have tried committing suicide twice; I have survived it, I am not ashamed of it and I do not let it define who I am today. God’s intervention saved me. Even though it was not a good idea to do that, I guess God gave me first and second chances. I was severely depressed and was not even able to evaluate my options objectively. I lost all hope in life and life became more meaningless to me. Life was overwhelmingly unbearable, and despair set in. The emotional and psychological abuse I was going through in my marriage, couple with other pain I was going through, the only way to stop and escape this intolerable pain and suffering was to me a way to escape the beauty of the world and just die. Suicide is not a good thing, but sometimes the war that wages in your mind, soul, spirit, and body is excessively high and thicker than you can survive. Many people believe that the act of suicide is selfish, cowardly on the part of the individual, or embarrassing to the family and friends. However, as a survivor, I can say with confidence that it is not a choice that comes easily. I would even argue that it is not a choice whatsoever, but rather a desperate act during the deepest and darkest period in one’s life as you battle with a lot of mental issues. You are broken, you cannot see the light at the end of the dark nights, you feel hopeless, you are so down and depressed that all you think of is the fear of waking up again to face those demons and fears that are catching up with you. You do not care what people will say at that particular moment, all you care about is how you can end it all.
People consider suicide when the pain they feel exceeds their ability to cope with it. They want to end the suffering and think that ending their lives will bring relief, but it does not especially to the people they left behind. Many people go through a lot at one point or another in life which can be caused by a lot of issues, some of it are the loss of a loved one, stress from the environment, work, or even mental health, rejection, loneliness, illness, substance abuse, the hopelessness etc. Unfortunately, some people get so down and not able to pick themselves up that they consider suicide as an option. LIFE IS SO SWEET, yet it can be difficult. We all want to live our lives on earth as God purposed and have a vision to the end of our lives, but sometimes the enemy crawls in and end it just like that.
You will have to walk a mile or even a short distance in someone’s life before you judge the person. As mentioned earlier many people who consider suicide do not actually want to die, but at a point, they just do not know how to cope with or eliminate the pain they are going through.
I love this quote by “Joseph Addison – Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses, and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures”. It has stuck with me for a long time. This quote has been a pillar, and it keeps me going on in life.
When it comes to committing suicide, you do not think about anyone, all you think about is how the pain is going to go away. When someone is in the frame of mind to commit suicide, they tend to forget about the talents, gifts, and abilities God has given them, and all they think is how to end it all away from the pain, anguish and whatever is driving them to do that.
Especially in our African communities, you dare talk to someone about the problems you are going through, and by the time you realize it the whole story is going around like a tsunami. Secondly, you come out and talk to someone about your problems, and all you hear is “get over yourself and move on. How can someone who is having all these mental anguish get over whatever he/she is going through and move on? People cry out to people in different ways, but we as human beings choose to ignore or pretend we don’t know. All we do is to just hear and not listen. Sometimes it is not about you feeling hopeless, but it is about the circumstance you see yourself in or surrounding you. Many people are dying inside, but smiling outside because of the fear of telling people what is happening, for example, someone cannot take a rejection from a boyfriend, but someone can. What one-person experiences as painful or overwhelming might not be the same for someone else.
Suicide knows no boundaries or barriers, it can approach anyone, be you a Christians Muslim and anyone from other religion. The fact that you are a religious or spiritual person does not cut you off suicidal tendencies.
What can we do to help others?
1. We should stop being judgmental, shut down the stigma and be supportive
2. Have patience and please “Listen” carefully instead of advising
3. Offer HOPE even when the person is hopelessly hopeless
4. Undertake a community initiative in educating people about mental health issues (Mental illness is not about being mad, but can be the demons of anxiety, panic attack, fear, PSTD abuse etc.
5. Be committed to seeing someone come out of their brokenness and darkest part of the soul
6. Find if possible a counsellor to let them talk to the person
7. In order to help someone show them compassion, be sympathetic and empathetic compassion and be willing to hear about their suffering
8. Reassure them it will be okay even if they don’t agree with you, and keep an eye on them
Let us be each other’s brother and sister’s keeper
As individuals, we need to learn to be resilient, hopeful and always be aware of what is going on with the mind, and as Joyce Meyer said, “The Mind is a Battlefield”.
[A special thanks to this courageous commentator (name withheld) for sharing a story that will save others. Kudos ma]