By Our Reporter
Overcoming Low Self Esteem: 16 Signs That You Have Low Self Esteem And How To Improve Your Self Confidence
Do you ever get the feeling that people are watching you? Does it always feel like all eyes are on you and people can see the mild stain on your shirt? Are you the type that cannot leave your house without makeup because you think your face is too rough for people to see? Do you always have to wear heels even though they feel uncomfortable, because you do not want people to mock your height? Does someone calling you stupid spoil your mood for the entire day? If you are familiar with these feelings or similar ones, then you are at the right place. In this article, I will teach you something about your self esteem.
5 things you didn’t know about self esteem.
Self Esteem Is Totally Unrelated To Physical Attributes.
Prior to what you may have thought, the amount of your esteem as a person does not depend on how beautiful you are or how gorgeously you are dressed. After all, have you never seen a beautiful woman who is unable to speak up for herself? What makes the difference is how you feel about yourself, because that is the exact way you will present yourself.
Most Programs To Increase Self Esteem Do Not Work.
After attending programs on how to boost your level of self confidence it may seem at first as though it worked. I mean, who would want to put in money for a lecture and admit it was a total waste? But studies have shown that in actuality, most of those lectures do not actually boost your self esteem. The best doctor for an individual is the individual.
Damages On Your Self Esteem Are Mostly Inflicted By You.
Saying things like ‘she’s right. It is all my fault’, ‘I can’t, I won’t fit in there’ and the likes can do a lot of harm to your esteem without you even knowing it. Instead of, ‘I can’t’, why not try starting with ‘I don’t know if I can’. Before long you would be saying ‘I can’. Stay away from unnecessary self-criticism.
- Your self esteem is a proportion of your love for yourself. You cannot love yourself and have a low self esteem, and you cannot be unsure of how you feel about yourself and be sure of your esteem.
- Your esteem inspires trust. With a high esteem for yourself, the level of trust others can have for you increases. But having a low esteem does not really give people much to hold on to.
That said, what is this SELF ESTEEM?
Self worth, Self integrity, Self regard, Self respect are all Synonyms of Self esteem. According to Rosenberg in 1965, self esteem was described as a favorable or an unfavorable attitude towards one’s self (p. 15). Look at it this way, you like you so much, you do not necessarily care who does or does not like you. It’s just like having that dress you loved so much that nobody else loved. There is a way you would wear the dress with so much pride, people would begin to see something nice about it!
According to Wikipedia, Self esteem reflects an individual’s overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her worth. It is what you see in the mirror when you look at yourself.
No matter what you do, you should never let your self esteem be dragged, either by people or by yourself. Losing your esteem has the ability to demean you, and make you unable to stand in the presence of your peers. If you feel like you have already lost your esteem, you can always get it back and build it to be even stronger but remember, ‘you’ is the keyword.
About Low Self Esteem
You remember that day you knew the answer to the question asked, no one else knew but you did. What about the time you knew the exact solution to the company’s problem? You were very certain, in fact you were screaming the answer(in your mind). The reason why you could not speak up was your low self esteem. The ‘what ifs’ came up, so you started to ask what if I was wrong, what if I make a mistake, what if something happens when I am about standing up, what if they laugh at me. So you got so drowned in the ‘what ifs’ that you just sat down and watched. Well, I will tell you what you would do next time. You would shut those voices up or instead replace them with ‘what if I don’t’. So, what if they laugh? It does not make you a lesser person than you are! They probably would forget it two minutes afterwards, but it is your low esteem’s job to make you see it every time you look at their faces, to make you keep seeing invisible things. You have to stop NOW. You can choose to have no, low, medium or high self esteem. Just don’t make it impenetrable.
These two statistical facts about low self esteem may shock you;
–85% of people in the world suffer from low self esteem. 85!!!
–4 in 5 women have low self esteem. You could be the only 1, or we could change statistics soon enough.
It is possible that you do not even know that your esteem is low. Let me show you some symptoms and signs of a person with a low esteem.
- Treating yourself badly, but being nice to others.
- Expecting little out of life for yourself.
- Lack of trust in your own opinion.
- Inability to accept compliments.
- Overly concerned about your appearance
- Always checking social media while alone
- Telling lies to ensure peace
- Using drugs to remove pain
- Reading people’s minds.
- Being rude and hostile
- Saying you are sorry when you’re not
- Feeling like mistakes are fatal
- Worrying too much about what people think
- Comparing yourself with others
- Using your past to judge your future.
The list goes on, but at this stage you have a huge knowledge of what I mean. Some of the symptoms above are hidden so you have to carefully examine yourself before finding if you truly do some of it. There is always a problem, but I am here for the solution.
How To Improve Your Self Confidence
- My first solution is for you to know yourself.
Do you truly know who you are? Have you sat down, closed your eyes, removed all distractions to learn about you. Most people know a lot about others but barely know about themselves. If you know something already, hearing it from someone else produces less sting, the sting reduces every time you hear it until there is no more sting again, in no time it becomes a joke and you can once laugh at what hurt you. When you know your flaws, and accept them, nobody can use them against you.
For instance, I am short, but when I meet new people and they tell me this, I just laugh. It used to hurt a lot, but I realized that I was giving people the power to hurt me. I mean, you could be having a good day and someone just points that out and boom! Your day is ruined. Have control of yourself, or people will have control over you.
- New Body Language And Image
Like I said earlier, the way you present yourself matters a lot. Your posture and your facial expressions. If you were the type that always had a pitiable facial expression, try smiling for a change. If you always slouch your shoulders while walking, try straightening them, agile walking step, all these help your confidence.
- Accept Mistakes
Mistakes do not make you a bad person. Yes, you can make mistakes. It is okay to make mistakes. You are not the only one that makes mistakes. In actuality, all successful men in the world made mistakes at some points in their lives, and are still currently making mistakes. The difference is that they have accepted it as a stepping stone. A mistake means that you may not know the next thing to do, but you know one thing not to try next time!
- Stop Comparing Yourself with others
You are different from them, do not compare them to you. Time is a beautiful thing.
- Stay Away From Negativity.
If people make you feel bad about yourself, then there are toxic and you should let go of them it might seem like it is impossible at first, like you cannot do without them, but take the bold step and stay away from them.
- Try Learning A New Skill.
If you have no skill, try learning one, a new language, how to make shoes, etc. If you already have one, try taking it to the next level, maybe you make shoes for your family, try telling your friends about it start selling. There is a level of confidence that comes with knowing how to something that could generate income.
- Challenge Your Limits.
If you have always accepted yourself to be nothing more than a particular level, then you should try something higher. Apply for a further degree, try a bigger job, talk to someone above your level. Just someone different.
- Do not rely on others to make you believe in yourself, stop that habit this moment. Even if someone does not believe in you, you have to always believe in yourself.
After reading this, try taking these challenges and be on the lookout for results;
- Make a list of your flaws, read them aloud to yourself, accept them. Now love yourself, because nobody can love you more than you do.
- Go out alone and initiate conversation with total strangers. Carefully though, do not get in trouble.
- Next time you visit a nearby shop, do it in your worst or ill-fitting clothes, no makeup at all and don’t avoid eye contact with people as you move.
- Every time you get confused about how someone is feeling about you or what they think about you. Do not assume, ask. Most times we go about assuming the wrong things instead of just confirming. You are just a question away from your peace of mind.
- Throughout the week do not say anything negative about yourself. Instead of ‘I am so foolish’, try ‘I can act so funny at times’.
- Help two people this week. It does not matter how you help, just offer to help.
All said, remember that your confidence is a very important part of your life. There are times when that will be the only thing that keeps you going. You are special, remember that.
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