Was Tonto Dikeh Taking A Stopwatch To The Bedroom To Time Her Man?
By Gbenga Omotosho
The Tonto Dikeh allegation of 40 seconds bedroom show has provoked many questions, which marriage counsellors, psychologists, medical experts and ancillary professionals will have to answer. This, being a family paper, I will not list some of the posers being raised by observers of this matter so as not to offend the sensibility of the reader.
Why will a woman bring into the open the salacious details of her ex-husband’s concupiscence competence? What has time got to do with it? Is it a general problem or one that is peculiar to philanderers and lotharios among who Tonto Dikeh has numbered her ex? Did she complain to him and what did he do to reverse the situation? Is it right for women to go public with such erotic grievances? Is this also part of the Beijing spirit? Will other women embrace Tonto’s formula to whip their ex into line?.
One would have thought that Tonto’s testimony is the stuff for hair dressing salon gossip. Wrong. Now, it has set the social media on fire. Even if the actress had insisted on talking about it, why bring in her son? In future when his mates begin to taunt him with his mum’s assertion about his dad’s bedroom report card as signed by his ex, his mom, what will the poor boy do?
Is 40 seconds medically realistic? Was the star just being hyperbolic to stress the fact that, in her words, Churchill would “not last more than 40 seconds?” Is it possible to get wrapped up in such an erotic act and, at the same time, keep the time? Was Tonto taking a stopwatch to the bedroom to time her man? Was the man aware that he was being timed? Can the actress prove her assertion? How? Video? Mere oral evidence? A medical report? Witnesses? These are just a few of the questions her fans – and foes – have been asking.
Her Nollywood colleagues have been screaming: “Ah, incredible!”. Churchill, it is to be noted, has not said a word in his own defence against what some men have described as a grave allegation. He has taken it all on the chin. Trust the busybodies; they have been asking: “Is he guilty? Why will a man keep quiet about such a serious allegation? Does he need help? Is the woman perfect; why not release details of her shortcomings?”
Some charlatans have been recommending their so-called remedies to Churchill – unsolicited. Thankfully, there are no reports that he has accepted any of their prescriptions. An overzealous fellow listed the remedies he said Churchill could try – Jigijigi, Ogidiga, Manpower, Alomo, Pakurumo, Fodo, Afato, Eruku, Flusher, Bazooka, Osomo, Wiper, Kick and Start, and many others.
Their potency, claim the self-acclaimed exports, is not doubtful.