An important part of being in a relationship is the willingness to share yourself with your partner. This means opening up, talking about concerns, and being your full self.
But this is also precisely why low self-esteem can affect your relationship in such a negative way, as it pretty much makes it impossible for you to enjoy a healthy relationship with your partner.
Low self-esteem can cause you to worry about what others think of you, it can make you feel like you have nothing of value to add to the world, and it can cause you to not believe any positive feedback.
People with low self-esteem do not feel good about how they look, and they often get in relationships that are not as good as they deserve, because they do not believe they deserve better.
And if you don’t feel worthy of a healthy relationship, then it’s difficult to have one. If that sounds familiar, then you need to know some of the ways low self-esteem can affect your relationship.
You look for love in the wrong places
Do you constantly find yourself with distant, cold, or unavailable partners? A lack of confidence may be to blame. A nasty side effect of having low self-esteem is the uncanny ability to find love in all the wrong ways and places. Think about it: How many times have you given your time and energy to another in the hopes that they would love you in return?” It’s not ideal.
You have trust issues
A lack of trust can rear its ugly head for any number of reasons, but it usually comes from low self-esteem brought on by past hurt. People with low self-esteem struggle with trust in their relationships, and this has more to do with how they feel about themselves, and how a partner would treat them. Real or imagined, it’s not fun at all.
You constantly test your partner
Low self-esteem often means living with an annoying fear of abandonment. When that’s the case, you may put your partner through rigorous tests to see if they will leave. Below the surface these insecurities guide your emotions and actions. You may even sabotage the relationship because you know your partner will inevitably leave anyway.
You become absolutely love crazy
Many people have the goal of being loved in life. While this is totally reasonable, it does have a way of getting to your head especially if you have low self-esteem. Because you don’t see yourself as naturally lovable, you feel like you have to fight and claw and strive for a mate and this can make you obsessed, consumed and infatuated with your object of affection in a way that ruins the ability to have a good relationship.
You fear intimacy
You might have an intense fear of opening up to your partner, caring too much, or letting them care about you. These distancing behaviors may reduce your anxiety about being too close to someone, but they come at a great cost. Perpetuating your low self-esteem can potentially ruin the good relationship you have with the person you love.
You may have a hard time connecting
Part of being in a relationship is sharing yourself, your thoughts, your fears, your dreams and your insecurities with your partner. But hiding away due to insecurity can quickly lead to communication problems. That’s why it is way better to be open and honest, even if you don’t think your partner will want to help. The right person will listen and offer you solutions, so share away.
You are weirdly resilient
People with low self-esteem go through a lot of confidence issues and they suffer anxiety. So it’s totally normal to come out feeling resilient in a negative way. As a result, you might feel like nothing can break you down, including your relationship. Resilience enables men and women to be more measured in their approach to their relationships. These people become understanding even when they are being hurt.
You don’t speak up
If something is wrong, you may find it difficult to voice your concerns to your partner. This has to do with low your self-esteem. This is because people with low self-esteem may believe that they cannot speak up without risking rejection from their partner and damage to their relationship. This can lead to some major dissatisfaction in your relationship. Of what use is a relationship if you can’t express yourself to your partner?