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I Cheated On My Husband While Drunk. My Husband Is Hurting. What Should I Do?

I cheated on my husband with colleague at work

July 28, 2012 – I Cheated On My Husband While Drunk. My Husband Is Hurting. What Should I Do?

Myself and my husband have been married for 4 years now. We have a beautiful son together. I recently made the worst mistake of my life by sleeping with my co-worker after getting drunk at an occasion.

I confessed this mishap to my husband. It seems we can’t get back to where we’re before what happened.

Please believe me when I say that I love my husband with all my heart. I attended a company function a few months ago, got drunk and had sex with a man I work with. I think my drink was spiked, but I have no proof.

When I realised the next day what I had done, I was devastated. I thought long and hard and decided that the only way I would be able to live with this is if I told my husband.

My husband was angry, hurt and so disappointed. He left me for a month and when he came back, he said he wanted to try and make the marriage work because he still loved me and wanted the best for our child.

We never spoke about what had happened, which has proved to be unbelievably difficult. We just cannot get back to where we were before this happened. He is suspicious of me all the time. He wants to know where I am, what time I will be home and who I am with.

I have assured him that nothing like that would ever happen again. Though I understand how he must feel, it is really starting to wear me down.

Sometimes when he looks at me I feel as if he hates me. He also will not touch me. What can I do to reassure him that I love him and our child more than anything in the world? Will we ever get over this?

I’m really sad. What should I do?



  1. Ismail Abba

    July 28, 2012 at 6:41 PM

    He wil never trust u again,and ur hate wil continue 2 develop in his mind,but remember beauty is on the eye of the holder.

    • Timothy Udochukwu

      July 31, 2012 at 10:07 AM

      Is simple, acept Jesus Christ as ur personal Lord n Saviour. Confess him wt ur mouth n pray 2 4giv ur sins, then go ahead n tell him 2 restor ur marriage bliss. Dnt ever take alcohol in ur life time. Just be born again n encourage ur husband 2 do same, wt time, peace ll be restored.

  2. Lucy

    July 28, 2012 at 6:51 PM

    Just live wit it,atleast he didnt send u parking,daz a price u ve to pay for commiting adultery,but to help matters u ve to call him at every intervals nd answer him politely each time he request were u re nd who u re with,gdluck

  3. Idoko Ik B

    July 28, 2012 at 7:16 PM

    Woman if you love yur husband and know that yu will never try such again; first Stop drinking alchole. Go to a priest for confession and back yur spiritual life with determined prayers. Yur husband will forgive yu and foeget when yu hv taken the above steps in the name of JESUS CHRIST Amen

    • Gyobe Victor Mwanda

      July 30, 2012 at 7:17 AM

      mr idoko u r wrong 4 tellin her to confess her sin to a priest, i believ she has confessed dat to God already so behold old things sin have past away n now she is a new creature. Pls catholic should stop all dat form of worship dat we should confess our sins to priest, my bible didn’t tells me dat cos it made it clear dat God himself doesn’t need u to tell him ur sins cos he has known it b4 u, wat he is after is dat confess to him wit ur mouth dat u hv sinned n realise it n now u confessd dat Jesus Christ is ur new Lord n personal saviour. My sis gudluk

      • Edeh SAMSON

        October 3, 2012 at 4:16 PM

        u too u r wrong for imposing judgment on another man.see every form of christianity today was given birth by d catholic church.U R JUST RANTING NONSENSE.

    • politbru

      December 31, 2012 at 7:09 PM

      But she has already confessed to her husband why ask her to go to the priest? Which is harder? To confess to the man or to the priest? Can we for once, stop being sanctimonious about this woman’s situation and offer her help?

  4. Tina

    July 28, 2012 at 7:29 PM

    U did well to tell him @ least u ease of d pain, very soon he will understand that u love him dats why u told him n comes to love u the more, hold on, dont lose hope!

  5. Aliyu Kiru

    July 28, 2012 at 7:47 PM

    I think ur husband is one of the best ppl in the world. I hope u didn‘t license him 2 luk 4 ladies out side 2 compliment ur insincerity. Pls avoid alcohol and never ve de feeling that ur previous lyf will return with ur husband ‘cos u ve spoilt it. Seek forgvness of God by repenting.

  6. bennett Godspower

    July 28, 2012 at 8:03 PM

    i applaud u 4 ur sinscerity, ur husband stil love u, he’s jst hurt by ur deed, continue 2 be humble sinscerely n dnt drink alkohol unless wit him. Beliv me everytin gonna be alright soon

  7. Adanna eze

    July 28, 2012 at 10:45 PM

    U should try to make him happy again and try to show him y he married u the first place and not to do it again and pls always try to forget ur past it will u move on, and pls and thanks will also help u.

  8. may toby

    July 29, 2012 at 9:39 AM

    he will forgive u,jst go back to God becus the heart of a king is his hand so that is where ur husbands heart God with all ur heart and his greatness u will see hw he will restore that home and ur husbands in in favour but dont try again.

  9. Ntodonke Chidi;

    July 29, 2012 at 10:14 AM

    To err is human and to forgive is divine! If u had erred, it was completely natural, but requires sincere repentance, which I should think u have started by telling ur hubby the truth, next, avoid alcoholic drink, submit ur life more to God. To ur hubby, I regard him as one of the rare husbands on earth, he deserves the most respect and love now. Am optimistic, if he were able to forgive, the grace of God shall eventually help him to forget. Try to forget your past, and pray together as a family. God bless you, especially that special husband of yours. Am proud of him.

  10. Jossy Dominion

    July 29, 2012 at 2:31 PM

    My dear is a mistake, and because you love him that is why you opened it up for him to know. Don’t worry he will get over it one day and even love you more than before. But always make sure you put this in prayers everyday of your life. Goodluck

  11. Decency anuri

    July 29, 2012 at 3:12 PM

    My dear, bravo 4 ur courage in teln ur hus. Dat proves ur realy sorry 4 ur action, & dt it wasn’t intentional. Jst be steadfast in prayers, & avoid alcohol, 4 it almost reiuned ur marriage. Ur hus stil loves u, if not, he wud nt hv km bk 2 u. Jst gv him time, he’s a human, dl4, it wil tk hm time 2 4get, bt he wil eventualy 4gv u.

  12. Kena

    July 29, 2012 at 4:33 PM

    It is natural for ur husband to feel hurt. But it is un-natural for him to make up wt u after 1 mth cos I know a lot of men will want such an excuse to start having extra marital affairs. Importantly u must avoid alcohol at all cost. U cannot delete d scars, but u can rebuild d love by consistently winning ur husband’s confidence from where u are now. Just be patient and prayerful

  13. Toyosi

    July 29, 2012 at 8:30 PM

    All u nid is genuine repetance 4rm ur sins. Get closer 2 God. Pray eanestly dt d peace whc enemies av stolen away b restored. Ur husband lovs u bt he hates ur waywodnes. Be sincere 2 him & wt him 24/7. Ur joy & hapines wl return in Jesus Name.

  14. christiana

    July 30, 2012 at 9:05 AM

    I commend your courage to open up to your husband and with that God is merciful on you. your husband is human and no human would like his or her partner to be shared with another even a woman like you will not hear that your husband sleeps with another woman whether drunk or not. You need to go to God in prayer for mercy and for your husband to love you again. Its really really painful to bear seeing your loved partner having an affair with another but with God all things are possible. That grace that made you to tell your husband will also help you to win him back. good luck sister and God bless.


    July 30, 2012 at 11:09 AM


  16. Pekun

    August 1, 2012 at 6:26 AM

    U did d right tellin ur husband wat happend. I’ll advice u 2 stay away 4rm anything dat will make him suspicious eg quitting ur job cos believe me it will b difficult 4 him to be seeing u wit d ‘man’. Also try to get him 2 read this page, he’ll knw how sorry u’re. Best of luck.

  17. victoria

    August 1, 2012 at 8:42 PM

    the mistake has bin done. just assure him that it wont happen again. and also put it in prayers, the lord will restore peace in your family

  18. Segun

    August 6, 2012 at 5:28 PM

    Hmm uve made a great mistake i think God will help u

  19. Ismail

    August 8, 2012 at 7:52 PM

    Sista x jst god will help u


    August 16, 2012 at 3:30 PM

    The best thing i we advise u to be doing is to be more prayerful about it and u most ask for the forgiveness of sin for God and be redy to turn a new live. may God forgive u Amen

  21. tonia

    August 16, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    U realy tried by telin your husband, may d almighty lord grant u peace in your home, jt give him tym he wil cum aruld.

  22. henryid

    August 19, 2012 at 10:55 AM

    Cheating on him is just not the it, traditionally wat is involve,is like an injury a time wil come wen he wil insult u in public or private becos u av given him an everlastin the best solution is to go for divorce.becos there wil be problem in d nearest future.then use ur past to amend ur new status wen u a man dat is men 4u.

  23. Dotman

    August 23, 2012 at 6:48 AM

    Make sure u re in his gud books all d time nd try to change ur place of work so dat u wuld stop seing dat man. Ask God to restore ur home cos ur husband is one in a million.

  24. Danjuma munyonga

    August 23, 2012 at 7:02 AM

    All that have been said are true about you and correct of thesituation on board. It is good that you have confessed your sin to God and your husband, keeppraying to God to restore your former marital joy, and in sincerity I bet you that onee day it wii be as though nothing ever happened. Wish you all the best, but stay away from alcohol…..

  25. Danjuma munyonga

    August 23, 2012 at 7:03 AM

    Keep on praying and it shall be well

    • Louis Don

      August 28, 2012 at 7:56 AM

      if u ar a responsible wife, u wd’nt so engage urself in goin 2 party men u so called co, take care of urself!

  26. Jacob

    August 29, 2012 at 10:01 AM

    It’s painful but 4giv her since she confessed to u and if u 4giv her God wil be happy wit u. Do nt takes wrong advices 4rm friends n family. My sista be gud to ur family and stp taking alcohol and pray to God to 4giv u and neva u repeat dat mistake again God wil surely bring peace in ur home like neva b4 IJN Amen.

  27. Ugo Fidelis

    August 30, 2012 at 8:59 PM

    keep on praying one day God will surely touch him okay!

  28. Blessing

    September 1, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    My broda the bible may us to understand that Jesus said i hv gave ur power to 4give sin that any sin u 4give has be 4givin and any sin u retain has be retain. Read ur bible pls and remember dont juge.

  29. okey

    September 2, 2012 at 3:43 PM

    u are not a responsible woman,just pray to god for his help but bear it in mind that the love will no longer be there as it was except God intervenes!bon chance(good luck)

  30. Susan Odiwo

    September 7, 2012 at 2:20 PM

    My dear, there is nothing much you can do. It's good that you told him what had happened to clear your conscience and the love you have for him. It's up to him to forgive and forget…..Keep the love you have for him going and love him more…very soon, GOD will touch his heart and he shall forgive and forget. Give him time 'cos it's not easy for him. Women can forgive men easily, but it's hard for men to forgive women easily. GIVE HIM TIME!

  31. peter

    September 14, 2012 at 12:28 PM

    U acted foolishly to take alcohol wit another man,u had d desire for sex outside marriage dat is y u were tempted in dat area.don’t b angry now dat ur husband want to know where u are…,tell him always,is a cross u must carry.give ur life to Jesus

  32. Jude Amara Mack

    September 21, 2012 at 12:55 PM

    Is really really sad n it will take a very long tym 4 your husband 2b ok bout diz, any man who loves n cherishes his wife is always jealous 2 a fault. You shld pray let God touch his heart, 2ru prayers God can restore d joy n happiness back in ya marriage n u mst never try dat again. please don allow satan 2 use diz n destroy ya ome, is ya worst mistake, God less you.

  33. Okoro Chukwuemeka

    September 22, 2012 at 9:49 PM

    fast and pray to God, to touch his heart………………………..

  34. Michael Hilltop

    September 23, 2012 at 5:36 PM

    you are not the victim honey… drink was spiked?"… your husband should leave you and take the son with him…you'll have another "spiked drink" again. Count on it!

  35. Chikelue Fidelis

    October 3, 2012 at 5:52 AM

    its time that will heal the wound don't be in a rush bt also be a little careful avoid drinking if u are nt too sure.

  36. Horgiennie

    October 4, 2012 at 9:07 AM

    it will take a long time 4b u can gain his trust back not bcos of anythg but bcos He was disappointed in U, he must ave told U not to go to d party in whic u must ave refused to listing to him. 1 thg i would want u to knw is dat he luv u 4 him to back to U, whenever he is asking where r u, what r u doing nd u r with who, dont be angry answer dont lie to him about the question might be using dat to gain ur trust back. dont lie to him @ dat time he’s asking u dat question, he might be @ 1 corner watching U and failure to tel him the truth would make u to loose him forever nd dont fail to pray to God to touch his heart.

  37. Prophet Joe

    October 11, 2012 at 1:01 AM

    Ask God for forgivnes and tell ur man the truth and ur are FEEE


  38. Prophet Joe

    October 11, 2012 at 1:03 AM

    Tell ur husband the truth and ask God forgivenss and ur are FREE

    Are u xtain? let me know?

  39. BEAUTY

    December 14, 2012 at 4:10 PM


  40. Sue

    January 30, 2013 at 2:55 PM

    U mean u can drink till u cannot even control yoself thus ending up sleeping around with anyman? This is unbeliveable, tell yo hus to file a dirvoce in grounds of infedility, coz a cheat is always a cheat

  41. cyson

    August 16, 2013 at 11:18 AM

    first You should have told him about it, and allowed it to go like that, which is mistake on your part, because if your love him, telling such thing will brought about what you have now with him, that is man nature.

    and my advice to you, is to be yourself,because he would not tell you, if he is the one, no matter how he does behave to you now, just take it, in good faith and worry no more about what has happened.

  42. Save Our Marrige

    February 25, 2017 at 6:33 AM

    As someone who’s been on the receiving side of this and stuck around. You must “make up” for it. If you shy away from sex or foreplay because you feel guilty that will 1000% make it worse, he feels betrayed, not good enough, and unwanted. Even if you guys are still together but its rocky or even good most of the time but then break into fights you even suspect are based on this YOU have to mend the bridge. Sure you can get to a point where he will be fine regardless, but he will always feel betrayed and almost more importantly not on the same level as you. Honestly the best thing to do is give yourself to him. Make sure he KNOWS you want him more than anything, tell him what your safe work is, make it something that makes you both laugh or kills it just as long as it kills the mood for both of you, then do whatever he wants. For as long as he wants as often as he wants. Women underestimate the importance of sex to men, he thinks you cheated cuz he wasn’t good enough, and if he found out anything about the way you got down you need to have taken it further with him. In men’s circles he’s been shamed and even if his friends won’t give him shit about it; 1) its unspoken and 2) both him AND his friends wonder if you’ll fuck them. One of the best quick fixes for this assuming you can own what you did and realize that you have to play it forward is to find another girl to go down on him with you; this is perfect for two reasons, 1) it avoids you getting jealous if you went for the whole threesome and 2) its most likely is 1# unfulfilled fantasy. If its a girl from the club telling her you want to go down on her, and then that you both want to go down on her until she’s thoroughly satisfied normally works on the DD\mother hen when the club turns the lights on. The reality is you may be happier being swingers just make sure hes fully engaged before you move forward with swinging or you’ll be back to square one. Finally you’ve wronged him so don’t get caught up on it being wrong for him to experience the same thing you did; you are partners for life, and you have an experience he can only dream about and the worst part is that dream is ruined by the fact that for you its not a dream.

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