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My Hubby Hasn’t Made Love To Me In 4 Years

June 2nd, 2012 – My Hubby Hasn’t Made Love To Me In 4 Years

We received an email from a woman who is seeking for your input on the current problem she is facing in her marriage.

Apparently her husband hasn’t made love to her since the birth of her 4 year old son.

Please read the letter below and leave your comments.

I have been married for 5 years and I have a four  year old son. The problem is my husband has not kissed me or made love  to me in over 4 years. I have tried everything but he just wont do it. I  cry myself to sleep most nights after he rejects me. Apart from this,  everything else is fine and our friends and family have no idea what’s  going on. I need advice.

A. what can the reason be ? because I honestly don’t think he is cheating on me.

B.  what can I do about the situation cos I’m feeling like my youth is  wasting away. I will soon be 30. I married him at 25 and I’m like is it  when I’m 45 he will be ready to get freaky. All my friends now have 2  or 3 kids but I still have 1.

I’m just so confused i haven’t cheated on him (I have thought of it) but I just cant. I have prayed, I  have fasted, I have cried, I have begged, I  have asked him so many times forget the sex, just give me a reason, just tell  me why you wont or tell me why you cant. He still has erections when I  touch him so he’s not impotent so I really cant explain it at all.

I’m writing you now after another rejection, tears rolling down my face as I  type. Its just heart breaking. I hope you and your readers can help me  before I go crazy or do something horrible.

Your inputs will be highly appreciated



  1. Joecastle

    June 3, 2012 at 4:31 PM

    I understand ur pain but, jst kip praying.. Cos, only God can touch his heart. Dnt do smtn evil or stupid. Be patient!


    June 4, 2012 at 12:36 PM


  3. oke muyiwa adio

    June 7, 2012 at 5:55 PM

    You can discuss dis issue with ur pastor or spiritual leader, may ur husband can state the reason why he refuse to have sex with you.

  4. Gold

    June 8, 2012 at 10:12 AM

    Pet him n give him so much luv dat he wont be able to ignore u,also try n go 4 HIV test,he may know something u dont know. God ll see u thru,amen.

  5. Diamond

    June 10, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    Keep praying, his d 5od of impossibilities,,,,he will do it fr u nd pls let ur pastor nd family member to knw abt it, secondly u both shld go fr hiv test,,,,dere may be sumtin he knws dat u dnt knw,,,,,be patient,God wil hlp

  6. Danjuma arinbo lawal

    June 15, 2012 at 6:08 AM

    Well maybe his manhood does not function but den just try to seduce him and make him tell u why does he not want to make love to u

  7. blessing

    June 18, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    Bros is it true? if it is true pls you better stop am oo before ur wife wil begind to go out with other men oo.pls i beg you in the name of God.

  8. Malata Odema

    June 22, 2012 at 2:13 PM

    Ur husband may b infected with hiv,and he may not want 2 endanger ur life.i advise u divorce him 4 good.

    • Tina

      June 29, 2012 at 11:50 AM

      Hahahah,pls dnt giv such judgemnt,atleast nt yet

  9. Val Act

    June 22, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    Sit down dere make pant dey wear u, u might b faithful 2 him but u can never no abt him, do u belive he can 100% kip his self for 4yrs lyk u do? Madam shine ur eye, sex keeps marriage moving. If he cnt tel u d reason den decide wat 2 do coz someone somewhere is givin him d sex of his life. Nobody holy these days oh, shine dat eye.

  10. Dan

    June 25, 2012 at 7:38 AM

    Have u people discussed family planning? May be he want to have only a child, what of ur style in bed? have u fed him with romantic food? It doesn’t work have u seduce him over and and over? did u try sex in the bathroom? did he rejected ur kissing? are u free from vagina vastula? have u rub all his body when he woke up in the morning it doesn’t work? don’t consult your pastor it will take advantage of u just rape him anytime u feel like he is your husband if he refuse let his family aware of it. don’t dull.

  11. Luveth

    June 27, 2012 at 8:23 PM

    U just hav to take tins easy cus u don’t know d reason why he decide not to make love to u but kip praying cus i know God is going to answer ur prayer.

  12. horlah

    June 29, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    u hv 2 b patient abt dis god will c u tru

  13. jibky

    July 1, 2012 at 4:55 PM

    report him to ur pastor nd his parent if he has any.And kipon praying to God.i wish u luck.

  14. osisiogu simon

    July 4, 2012 at 3:35 PM

    may be ur husband has someone else outside, or he might in one way or the other belong to a secret society, my advice for you is to go and see a man oF GOD.

  15. lanre

    July 6, 2012 at 2:37 PM

    If he’s not HIV positive then he must have lost his potency. If he doesnt want you for any reason, he would have sent you packing and you would have been seeing him with other ladies or something like that.

  16. Dara

    July 10, 2012 at 1:38 PM

    why not wake him @nite and ask him some questions . Mayb he’s nt happy wit u cos i see no reason why ur husband shouldn’t touch u for good 4 years ….

  17. Mayaki nelson

    July 16, 2012 at 2:23 PM

    Confront him to know his reasons & don‘t die in silence.if he remains silent,suggest a HIV test for both of you.if he disagrees, open up to his close family members & above all pray to God.

  18. perry o. Kelly

    July 17, 2012 at 10:43 AM

    just try 1 day watch out with the kind of people he move with, how they dress and the way they talk and compare urself with them if u are like them but if u’re not just pray for God initable wisdom it’ll help u to understand what is happening to him tankz. Reply.

  19. Lawal

    July 18, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    Really appreciate your patience. Your type of woman is not common nowadays. Please try to wake him up in the middle of the night and look at him direct into his eyes. Something is disturbing his mind. Ask him in a very loving manner, he will tell u. He loves u, he cares for u and he does not want to affect u with that thing disturbing his mind.

  20. Gentle anabraba

    July 19, 2012 at 6:58 PM

    Madam be is not happy getting married to u cos i tink is not impotnt cos u ave a 4yrs child with him may be he dont like sex as other men do just add me on face Genle Anabraba and i will tell u more to do

  21. pness

    July 19, 2012 at 9:39 PM

    Madam ur husband is HIV positive n dnt wnt to infect u with it or his is a gay marring u could b a show off frm his families n friend. So u better b wise b4 is 2 late.

  22. Pst Nsidibe Edoho

    July 21, 2012 at 8:51 PM

    Wow! what a pianful experance so touching to ber.mamad his he a beliver? Does he go with go u regulaly? If yes, i think u shud let the pastor kn about it.also look around him they must be someone he aways listen to. A kind of metor. Al d same kep taking it to God in prayer 4 i kn He wil surely se u thru. Let LOVE LEAD.

  23. Oludare olabayo

    July 30, 2012 at 8:11 AM

    …Woman be aggressive in spirit we ar in a endtime world.take his pictures to the mountain of fire and miracles 4r 3days and tel d lord 2 show u d secrets in ur marrige i trust d God of dk olukoya.ur husband might b a ritualist,seceret cultist,family ritual,disease,he might b cheatin on u,or itz an attack 4r him not 2 av interest in u prayerful en d lord wil reveal 2 you…it is a do it urself work as far as u ar a born again christian

  24. Abiodun

    August 3, 2012 at 3:44 AM

    Go to market, buy *** films, play it when you think he can watch it and make sure ur baby is sleeping. If rejected, call me on ************** for another method which i cannot disclose publicly.

  25. mandip

    August 6, 2012 at 12:22 PM

    I am in the same situation. My husband and i have not made love for over 3 years. I t is horrible feeing to be rejected. My husband doesn’t let me touch him either. We sleep in separate rooms too. It is the worst feeling in the world. I don’t know what to say apart from trust and believe in God, pray with all your heart and the Good Lords will bring him back to you.

    from one sex starved wife to another

  26. Williams

    August 7, 2012 at 6:24 PM

    Madam find out what d problem is ur husby wil not denied ur marital right with anything so pray for God intervenion i’m sure he wil answer you.

  27. Kelvin

    August 19, 2012 at 1:08 PM

    Make a research very well,may be he’s having a relationship outside

  28. Deborah olawunmi

    August 24, 2012 at 4:33 AM

    He hav a reason y is not hav sex with u or tell ur family wat is going on between u and u hubby

  29. Didee

    September 7, 2012 at 7:05 PM

    I believe maybe he has a disease he doesn’t want to transmit to you, cos u said he does have an erection meaning he’s still active. Try the midnight discussion or you guys should go see a doctor.

  30. Johnbull sola

    September 9, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    Dere is sometin wrong jt kip on prayin. He has a reason 4 dat.

  31. Amy

    January 27, 2014 at 4:34 AM

    I pray every day for my husband! We’ve been married 46+ years and he hasn’t touched me or had sex with me in all those years. He never talks to me and avoids me at all costs. He eats and sleeps in the basement, also he worked over 40 years on the night shift, all weekends, holiday and he even gave up all his vacation time. Been alone every night. I’m in my 60s now and really don’t care about any thing any more. I hate all men and if they vanished tomorrow I would be happy.

  32. Mmabatho

    March 4, 2019 at 7:58 AM

    Sometimes the cause maybe that he was present during child birth and he might have seen the pain you went though during labour and he does not want you to go trhough the same pain again. Try going for counselling that might be the right platform where he can open up about his behaviour. Stay strong my dear and keep on praying.

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