Nov 19, 2017 – How To Make Yourself A Valuable Treasure To Your Man
By Yetunde Olaseinde
When an orange tree bears bitter fruits, cut down the tree and not just the fruits”. This proverb from Swaziland tells us that it is better to get rid of something you do not value or doesn’t bring joy and pleasure. It is therefore very important to make yourself an asset, something to be treasured and something that cannot be replaced. This of course does not come on a platter of gold; you must have to earn it with the way you relate with the other person. For many, being a love material comes natural because you cannot give what you don’t have.
A loving heart is a kind heart, a heart filled with forgiveness and one who pursues the happiness of the other. Ancient love is not selfish but unfortunately many find it difficult to dole out this kind of love. On the love shelf, what you run into is love that is cunning, crafty, stingy, pretentious and very greedy. The goal of a good relationship should be to find someone that you are compatible with.
If along the line you discover that the two of you are not compatible, then it is better to move on with your life and find the sparks somewhere else. The big question is whether the emotional journey here is easy or not. Well, it varies with people; while some are lucky with casting their emotional nets, others are not so lucky. They may have to go from a second, third or fourth lovebird before catching the apple of their eyes.
While it is easier for men to do emotional swaps here and there, it is usually not the same for women. This is why it is better to look very well before taking a leap. A fall from your emotional height could lead to fractures or broken bones that would take time to heal or those that leave a permanent damage. A damage that would ultimately lead to further damage along your emotional corridor.
“No man wants to hear about men who helped to fill the emotional vacuum in the past. Of course, you know that the men like to brag about their conquests but it is a different ball game when it is a woman that is involved. It actually ruins the mystique and makes them feel anxious about being compared to the other person.”
She believes that it is easier when you can identify with love when it catches up with you. Unfortunately, a lot of people get carried away with shadows and by the time they are ready the one that should have been captured must have moved on. Foluke adds that dating when you’re younger is so much different than dating when you’re older; and if you’re looking for love, you would definitely want something that would work out fine.
“I have seen a lot of friends who lost their first love struggling to catch up because they do not love the person they got married to. Personally, I was very lucky because I married my first real love and we are both very happy together. Whether you’re still looking for your first love, or back in the dating field, there are some key things you should not talk about when you’re on your first date.
Often, going that extra mile to make your woman or man feel special is all you need to make all the difference. You have to give so much and expect little in return. This way you are bound to overlook the shortcomings of the other person and vice versa.
To fire up the romance in your relationship, you must be a good listener. It is better to listen when he or she shares some inner desires, likes, and fears. Here, your duty would be to nudge and guide, and above all, be interested. Interestingly, it is at this point that you are likely to get more ideas about what you should do next to impress and get more attention. You can also put little notes everywhere he can find all day. They could be love notes, smileys, or lines from love poetry or songs. This can make the one you are giving attention to dream about you all day, weeks and even months. In addition, you can create a spa atmosphere with special lighting, candles, and essential oils. Here you are bound to make him feel pampered as well as have that special time together. However, it would be interesting to plan details all by yourself. This way your target will love the feeling of being pampered.
Have a secret code for intimate sharing and use it in a crowd. It could be for saying, “I love you,” “You look lovely,” or “I want to kiss you.” Act silly with him now and then. It lightens up the mood, and gets him to become playful. It also tells him you are comfortable enough with him to be yourself, which is great cement for your relationship.
As an African woman, you can surf your way into his heart by cooking a special meal for him. This is a faster route to making him eat from your palms any day. The signal here is to tell him that not only are you multi-talented, but care enough to make a special spread only for him.