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How I Found Out My Nigerian Boyfriend Is Married With Kids – Heartbroken American Lady

how to find out my nigerian boyfriend married kids

Nov 13, 2017 – Heartbroken American Lady Reveals How She Finds Out Her Nigerian Boyfriend Is Married With Kids

By Tinesia N

Involved with a Nigerian man for a year. Basically begged me for my number. Wasn’t interested because of a 12 year relationship I had just ended. Needed to heal. Exchanged numbers anyway and this man poured on the kind words and what i see now were lies lies.

He told me he was not married and had no kids. Told me Nigerian men don’t cheat like men in America we debated about that and basically i told him he was full of it. I decided to give him a chance anyway what the heck i thought.

Initially when we met he asked me for a large sum of money and I quickly redirected him and told him I’m not the American he will scam for money so if that’s what he wanted he could leave. He apologized and we moved on. While he was in Nigeria he left me his bank card so i can retrieve his money for him and transfer it to him in Nigeria when he got paid which i did not problem. When he returned I noticed that this man never had any money and i continued to ask him why and offered to help him budget.

We did activities together you know just like a normal relationship. Over the year my gut was telling me something was not right, things didn’t add up. He always wanted to check my phone but didn’t want me to ask him questions about his. Went through his phone and found some things that were disrespectful to our relationship. Called the women and indeed he was talking to someone in another state.

This woman said they had not met each other in person but was dating previously off and on. The text message of her asking when he was coming to visit at the same time we were dating was the disrespectful part. He had also not told her he now had a girlfriend.

He explained that he had no intentions of going to see her but continued to talk to her which he admitted was wrong. OK apology accepted. Still something didn’t sit right with me. Deep inside I had a feeling something was being hidden from me and i continued to dig deeper.

In the mean time my kind and caring heart begin to turn into coal. Even though i wasn’t supporting him or giving him any of my hard earned money and if i wanted to spend any money on him it was always my choice. He paraded me around all of his friends who he says were very jealous of him because of me he even introduced me to his brother but still i felt uneasy.

I kept digging and digging and someone how found a number that i recorded from his phone early on when i found the other numbers. For some reason I kept this number never called it but something was telling me call it. I connected it with a name in Nigeria and saw some pictures of him and this woman and a child that looked just like him.

Also there was postings of a wedding congratulations and also postings of a new baby being delivered that coincides with conception around the time he was in Nigeria last. Now go back about 10 months. In his phone there was a photo of him and a woman who he told me was his sister and I laughed in his face on how stupid that sounded because of the situation of the photo no one unless it’s incest will be in that situation with his sister.

Fast forward i called this woman and sent her a picture of the guy and I together and asked if this was her husband and she confirmed as well as confirming the kids as well.

I showed him the picture and let me tell you the lie he told. He said the woman was his third cousin who he as the oldest man of the family had to step in as her husband to help with the kids. He said the kids were not his. I kept telling him i already spoke with the wife and know i just needed him to be a man apologize and tell the truth.

He then told me he did know the woman he had sexual intercourse with her but the child is not his and he is not her husband. Well in the meantime he is denying this still and I connected with the wife to apologize to her because that’s not the type of woman i am to sleep with married men.


What in the world did that mean?  In her exact words. Ladies be mindful follow your gut. This experience has broken my spirit deeply. Not sure how to heal but if Gods will I shall.



  1. Shardiat

    November 13, 2017 at 11:53 PM

    Why do you Americans all fall for cheap Nigerian men. I’m married to one and he has never cheated on me and there are lots of them back home.
    Stop selling urself short if you are interested in dating men from Nigeria, be bold enough to relocate one especially in religious setting.
    One you are settled and you trust him, they relocate with him. It is dt simple. Tunenia if you need help contact me at shardiatm@*********.com.
    That is my work email you can reach me anytime.

    • Pam

      December 28, 2017 at 1:50 AM

      Hello, I have met a Nigerian man online, he seems great but I’m not 100% sure if he is being truthful due to all the stories I have read. He has never asked me for anything but he does not have American Visa yet. I told him if he was scamming I don’t have anything to scam and he still wants to continue talking to me. How do you know for sure if it is a scam without actually going through with everything??

  2. Salem Godi

    November 14, 2017 at 12:18 AM

    so sorry tinesia sorry with African men most of them have more then 3 wives. Don’t join the statistic

    • Aizak

      January 6, 2020 at 4:30 PM

      You are jumping at a wrong conclusion. Some cultures may allow it but individuals have their personal decision to make. Check out the religious belief of your partner before making your decision

  3. Salem Godi

    November 14, 2017 at 12:19 AM

    U look like a Nigerian yourself are you sure you are not one

  4. Amanda

    November 14, 2017 at 4:02 AM

    Listen young lady, almost no nigerian would date or mary to american women without having “backup” relationship from their home country, nigeria. Ask me why?. It is your American law and Americans generally that cause this. By American law i meant, divorce law for instance is not smiling. It ruins men and rob them of their assets.

    Second, by American women i meant most foreigners not only nigerian men see children they have with American as something they could lose to America. Your behaviours are in direct conflict with other parts of the world. This is why men from other countries are ready to use and dump you. Even men with sincerity in their heart who genuinely marry Americans, they are screwed up by American women and american laws. So it is not the guy’s fault. he was simply saving himself JUST IN CASE.

    Besides, i don’t even know why it is new to you. Even if you married your fellow aMERICAN, THERE IS POSSIBILITY THAT YOUR MAN WOULD HAVE OTHER why are you so much bothered. You should rather worry about his well being and well being of yourself and children. And NEVER EVER shun his children from other women. You should accept them as yours if you don’t want conflict in the future.

    Enough said

  5. Teju

    November 14, 2017 at 4:20 AM

    God will heal your is well

  6. Mon

    November 14, 2017 at 7:22 AM

    It’s unfortunate anyway…..but whatever makes you broke that relationship of 12yrs is the same that leads you to this,you said you ended the 12yrs relationship.

  7. Abass

    November 14, 2017 at 8:58 AM

    God will heal your heart

  8. Marcus Garvey ll

    November 14, 2017 at 3:23 PM

    There are scoundrels among all races and ethnic groups. People have to search most carefully to find a half-decent partner; success is not guaranteed. The only trusted parted is a dead one: he or she cannot cheat; the living are potentially deceptive as the wind.

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