Daily Inspirational Thoughts
Ladies…Never Make A Man Your Financial Plan!!!
August 7, 2017 – Ladies…Never Make A Man Your Financial Plan!!!
By Gbenga Adebambo
Albert Einstein once said, “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things”. If a woman wishes to be fulfilled, stable, wealthy and happy in life, she must never make men her financial plan.
In her best-selling book, “Rich Woman”, that I will recommend for all young ladies and women out there, Kim Kiyosaki said, “A man is not a financial plan”.
Some young ladies design their lives around men. The man is their ‘bank’, their ‘salary’, their ‘business’, their ‘money spinning venture’, their ‘career’, their ‘occupation’ and their ATM machine! Such young ladies normally end up becoming miserable in life.
Men can complement in many ways but no woman must make a man her source of wealth. God is your Source. Don’t ever build your life around a man, no matter how much you are involved in his life.
Don’t lose yourself in a bid to find someone else. A lady that builds her life around a man has pitiably marked herself for a journey to oblivion.
“How shall I ever learn who I am when there is so much of me that belongs to someone else?”-Madeline Claire Franklin
One of the most fascinating and inspiring stories of ‘beauty and brain’ is that of the literary giant, author, storyteller and astute writer, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. A woman that I have come a long way to respect her ideologies and highly cerebral belief in the word-feminism.
She is an epitome of natural beauty and simplicity, in the age where there is mad rush to look like someone else, she stands out as a model of unadulterated beauty; a true African queen with a flawless and radiant beauty.
It is vividly obvious that her real sparkle comes from somewhere deeper inside, somewhere so pure, authentic and real. Chimamanda has both in beauty and writings proved to the world that authentic things need no gloss, polish or glitter to shine! Her life preaches the truth that every woman can aspire to become the best version of herself.
She has become a true and authentic model of the word ‘feminism’ while some ladies have allowed preying men to destroy the feminist potentials in them.
“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option”- Maya Angelou
In her international best-selling book, “WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINISTS”, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie hit the nail on the head to encourage women on the reason why they should never shrink themselves for any man: “We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls: ‘You can have ambition, but not too much.
You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you will threaten the man.’ Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices, always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important.
Now, marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support, but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same?” In summary of a life that he mentored from a distance, the legendary Nigerian writer, Chinua Achebe once said, “Adichie came almost fully made.”
“Don’t lose yourself trying to be everything to everyone”-Tony Gaskins
One of the most radical and controversial women in the world, Lady Gaga, said: “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your dream will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”
By building a life and lifestyle around our values, we create a life that is more satisfying, meaningful and fulfilling. The best self-image is not the one that is attached to another man; it is the one that is internally motivated! The only thing some people have is the ‘way ward’ men in their life; they lack intrinsic worth. Your self-worth and not the one derived from others is your net-worth.
“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” – Bruce Lee
One of the defining truths of life is that no man will value you more than you value yourself. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
You are not a ‘domestic appendage’, always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. Don’t go around in a way that men will see you as a liability. You are an asset.
As a lady, you must be able to earn your own living and pay your own way. If you don’t like being a doormat then get off the floor! I want to also encourage parents to instill confidence into their girl-child because the way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. We must help them to develop their self-esteem. Teach them never to walk in any man’s shadow because once they know their worth, nobody can make them feel worthless.
“When you learn how much you are worth, you will stop giving people discounts!”-Anonymous
Theodor Adorno said, “In the age of the individual’s liquidation, the question of individuality must be raised anew.” So many young ladies have liquidated themselves to build their life around a man. We should stop buying into the ‘myth’ that only a life built around a man means a better life. It is a blatant lie. Your self-worth, personal development, personal goals and relationship with God should be the object of your pursuit.
It is appalling to see how young ladies go into unholy length to get their lives wounded around a man while they constantly neglect their own personal development! The search for self-worth is not a man-phenomenon; a healthy self-esteem begins by finding what is indestructible inside, and then letting it be. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one”.
“Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women.”- Leo Tolstoy
Roberts Liardon said, “An internal security will always produce an outward stability”. Stop depending on unsustainable life supporting system, be secured from within, and put more effort into building your self-esteem.
Stop spending too much time on things that are ephemeral and transient. Many ladies have been psychologically battered and manipulated to believe that their worth is inferior to that of a man and I believe strongly that the level of ignorance that is ravaging young ladies needs to be urgently addressed before the victim’s doomsday!
“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time.”-Anna Freud
I am reaching out to all the young ladies and women out there in the words of Harvey Fierstein, “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself”. You are designed by God not to blend in, but to stand out. It’s not about being who everyone else wants you to be; it’s about being yourself and finding someone who loves every bit of it.
By being yourself, you put something beautiful into the world that was not there before. Your uniqueness is meant to be celebrated; don’t compromise who you are for people that refuse to accept your uniqueness; sooner or later, they will realize their folly and not yours. Don’t build your life around any man; build your life around your growth and your goals. You have a goldmine when you have a goal mind!
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “It’s a man’s job to respect a woman, but it’s a woman’s job to give him something to respect”
Teniola
August 7, 2017 at 4:23 AM
single ladies need to read this article
most of dem are feeding on wealthy men
Bench
August 7, 2017 at 5:45 AM
No be this thing be my problem now. Wetin was hapun to me yesterday I can not be understanding. Is confuse to me bicos up to now I am not know wetin I was do wey was make police to arrested me and puting me inside sell. Bicos I was notis say when I dey for taxi or for bus and police stop us, the driver go tell the police man say express de curve. The police man no go collect money from the driver again. Sometimes na another passanger go tell the police man say express de curve and the police man go leave us to pass. It was confuse me bicos I was not understanded why police man is no cause wahala again just bicos somebody for moto was tell am say express de curve. Who no know say express de curve bifor? I was not understand. So bicos of that I come tell myself say when I dey for taxi again and police come stop us I go tell am say express de curve. So I was dey for taxi yesterday and police was stop us and the driver was not a haver of money to be dashing the police man. So the police man was wasted our time and where I was go is dey need to me. So I come tell the police man say express de curve. He say what? I tell am again say express de curve. He ask me who I be. I say my name is Bench. He come asking me if I be police. I was say no. He asking if I be soja. I say no. He asking if I be sivu difens. I say no. I no understand why he come de asking me all the question. He even ask me if I be road safety or fire service. I was confuse according to. He come arrested me and puting me inside sell. Wetin was I do? I was vex very very big. I was told him say I know my right. He come to be laughing. All the pipuls in the police station was followment with laughing me until my brother was come to bailing me from the sell with ten tazan naira. The police man was tell my brother say I be inpesilation. Wetin was I do to be inpesilation say I tell police say express de curve? Is not only me weyris tell them bicos other pipuls are followment to say. Is even other pipuls was teach me. They was not arresting them but they come arrested me. Na bicos I was not a haver of money? It no good to do pasha and police is do pasha. This is very very according to.
Metu Nyetu
August 7, 2017 at 6:09 AM
THIS IS very ideal, and if ladies would do what is said here, I believe the world would become a better place, and life would even be easier for men. Ladies are the reason why men go to grueling lengths just to make money. But when ladies no longer follow men because of their financial capability, but their intellectual buoyancy, men would soft-pedal on the pursuit for wealth. This would lead to people committing less crimes and the world would become safer.
BUT THE QUESTION IS, are ladies ready to brave it?
Big Aunty Koks
August 7, 2017 at 7:33 AM
Every PERSON needs to read this article. The men may substitute where reference is made to females and read same as if addressed to males. Identity building is common to all humans and is often a painful journey made without a map or compass to guide.
This article if read with open mind also supplies pointers that may help in understanding relationships with other humans. Kudos to the author!!!
Danti
August 7, 2017 at 9:43 AM
Classical nonsense! Because someone put words on paper doesn’t mean it will help you. This is a mind of a wounded woman, who lacks worldly general knowledge and interpret abstractions literally. In this world, everything is in disparate groups; you cannot generalize because one member of a group is obtuse. Respect, understanding and prayer are what we need not pseudoscience or morosophy. This book will mislead inexperienced young people. How can a writer say men are not financial planners? Who built all worldly financial institutions? Instead of listening to some pathetic psychologists, get you Bible or Koran and calm the heck down. Lastly, if you think that every animal attacks like lion, then we should all run away from our goats, dogs ,hen and cats. Abi folks?
MADAM ERANKO
August 7, 2017 at 10:38 AM
THIS ARTICLE,
IT IS NOT ONL YFOR SINGLE LADIES WHO ARE REVENUE GENERATION,
BUT IT IS FOR ALL THE WOMEN IN GENERAL,
NOW ADAYS,
SOME GROUPS OF LADIES DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THAT MEN ARE BUYERS
AND I DO NOT BLAME THEM , BECAUSE THEIR MOTHER HAVE ALREADY TOLD THEM THAT MEN WERE BORN TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING,
THAT IS WHY ,
SOMETIMES WHEN I SEE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT AND LOVE AND MARRIAGE,
I COULD NOT HELP MYSELF LAUGHING, BECAUSE I DO NOT SEE ANY LOVE IN ANY MARRIAGE OTHER THAN YAHOO FRAUDSTERS REVENUE GENERATION.
IT IS ALL ABOUT GAMBLING,
WHAT I WOULD CALL ,,KALUKI,, IT IS ONLY PEOPLE WHO GO TO CASINO TO PLAY CARDS THAT WOULD UNDERSTAND ,, KALUKI,,
MARRIAGE IS LIKE PLAYING ,,KALUKI,, LOVE WAS ALREADY DEAD BEFORE YOU SAY YES I DO .
J. B. Hunter
August 7, 2017 at 1:15 PM
THE TRUTH IS, just like some ladies out there, some good numbers of Men out there too builds their world around their women.
To such men, their women‘s opinion comes first in everything. Including lending a helping hand to a needy friend or fellow or even a FAMILY MEMBER! Can you beat that?
In life, when you allow a woman to detect for you on how to lead your life, then you have a very close proximity with destruction. Adam and Eve in the garden of Edem was a case study.
Other references includes, Samson (the strongest man to walk on this planet Earth), King David, King Solomon etc…
I take a stroll…
Endurance
August 7, 2017 at 6:50 PM
Of course,a woman’s financial security is highly important especially when she’s married so that she can complement and play a supportive role in the household. It is also imperative that she’s financially stable so that she can cater for herself and her children in the event that she losses her husband in death. However,being financially secured and independent as a woman should not be a yardstick or be mistaking for a licence to divorcing your husband at every slightest disagreement,provocation and trials you may experience in marriage. Don’t be overly confidence to quickly dissolve your marriage because of that financial empowerment you’ve got. View marriage positively and don’t view it as a kind of game or contract that must end in tears and pain someday. To succeed in marriage, married couples (must) put God first and strive hard to Support their marriage with love,pray,and sincerity. It can help both of you collectively to weather any stormy challenges that may confront you as you journeying deeper into your marital life.
Mon
August 8, 2017 at 6:11 AM
No matter how we twist things with grammar,Women are born to be on the receiving side. On the marriage aspect,they are to assist their husband build a better home, so both will love,inspire and cherish each other.
For those ladies who marriage is not on their list or part of their desire,you will still remain woman and also on the receiving side.