August 10, 2017 – “I’m Tired Of Living A Lonely Life, I’m Too Young To Stay Without A Man” – Depressed Wife Tells Court
Lonely Wife Divorces Absentee Husband In Ibadan On Ground Of Depression & Abandonment
An Agodi Ibadan customary court has dissolved an eight-year-old marriage on the grounds of abandonment and depression.
The President of the court, Chief Mukaila Balogun, said the testimony of the plaintiff coupled with the refusal of the defendant to appear before the court had shown that the husband, Abel Ajayi, did not have interest in reconciling with his wife, Kemi.
“I hereby dissolve the marriage,” he ruled, and directed the court’s registrar to send a copy of the judgment to the defendant and warned the both parties to maintain peace.
He ordered the defendant to pay N3, 500 monthly allowance for the upkeep of the only child of the union.
Kemi had told the court:
“I am tired of living a lonely life, my husband has abandoned me and has failed in his duties to take care of her.
“I beg the court to dissolve the eight-year–old marriage with my husband, Abel Ajayi.”
NAN reports that Kemi, a hair dresser, had approached the court for the dissolution of the marriage blessed with a child on the grounds of abandonment and lack of care.
She said she married Ajayi in 2009, but moved out of her matrimonial home in 2011 after she gave birth to her child.
“I left his house when he refused to take care of me and the only child of the marriage, my intention was to stay with my relatives pending when he would come back to apologise.
“But he did not show up since I left six years ago because he has another woman, who has five children in his life; so, I have decided to call it quits as I can no longer endure the loneliness.
“I am still young to stay without a man, so the court should end the union and order him to be responsible for the welfare of the only child I have for him,” she said.
NAN also reports that Ajayi failed to show up in court in spite of the three summonses served on him.
Sometimes it strikes me how the courts often conclude their verdict which most times appear to favour the husband above the wife. How can you as court president ruled that an abandoned wife should accept the payment of N3,500 for the upkeep of there only child? Isn’t this an injustice on the part of the court against an abandoned woman and her child? What will this small amount be sufficient of buying in the market? The pure records of Leniency from the court in favour of the most abusive husbands will definitely have some negative impacts in so many troubled marriages in our society. Many men will end up getting the wrong signal that they can maltreat their wives and file for divorce and afterward, pay lesser monthly due to the verdict in the court so they can be free to remarry. I think the court should be firm and always remain strict when asking the husband in particular to pay certain amount for the upkeep of the children. Let them always pay higher financially for the upkeep of the abandoned family. Let the abusive husbands know that marriage dissolution will come at a very high cost. You don’t just abandon your wife after falling her b. r e a s t and making her to produce children for you. Those men who want to divorce their wives illegally and unjustly should not be allowed. If the court must accept their marriage dissolution, then let the husband pay a lot of money monthly into the wife’s account to enable her take care of the children. This no doubt will curtail the widespread premature divorce that has become a trend in our society.
Endurance, it appears you were trying to apply western law here which is not possible in a crime infested Country like Nigeria. In some western countries such as US, UK, Canada etc this is possible because those Countries are Countries of law. If you want to separate from your wife and divorce her, you have to be responsible for the upkeep of your child till he/she reaches the age 18 or 21 in some jurisdictions.
In the US if you failed to pay your monthly child support money instituted by the court you will end up in prison. If you are working, the government will deduct the money directly from your pay check or ganish your wage. You have to continue doing this until that child turns 18 then you can be freed. If you do the math, some women don’t have to work because their ex always pay through his nose. I think they just want those men pay for leaving those women.
My take on this is that,it is important our government come up with certain measure to deter married men from mistreating and divorcing their wives so cheaply or prematurely. If it requires applying western law,it will be helpful.
This is one side of the story,good as your wish was granted which is mainly to maintain a single status, if not,you were living alone for the past 6yrs as the union lasted for only 2yrs, move on and take care of your child.
WOMEN SHOULD NOT RELY ON MEN FOR EVERYTHING,
THEY SHOULD WORK HARD AND HAVE THEIR OWN MONEY BEFORE THEY SAY YES I DO .
BUT WOMEN SEEM TO GO INTO MARRIAGE EMPTY POCKET AND EXPECT THEIR HUSBAND TO PAY FOR THIS OR THAT AND BUY THEM BRA AND UNDIES.
WOMEN ARE FOOLS WHO HAVE NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE MARRIAGE OTHER THAN SEX AND BE A BABY MACHINE