My Nigerian Boyfriend Is A Virgin But I’m Not, How Do I Tell Him The Truth

my nigerian boyfriend is a virgin

November 13, 2016 – I’m Not A Virgin But My Nigerian Boyfriend Is, How Do I Tell Him The Truth

I am currently in a serious relationship with the man of my dreams. Our families have already been involved and we are about to be engaged. I would do anything not to lose him.

This is the man I am absolutely in love with. He has been asking about my past, and because he’s a practicing Christian, he has never had sex. I have been lying to him about my past sexual activities.

When I’ve slept with countless of guys, I reduced the number to two, which he’s ok with. What bothers me is that as time passes, the more questions he asks about my past; the more I lie to him. He wants to know the details: the who-when-where-and How.

The lie is eating me up! I am scared of telling him the truth because I’m scared he won’t be able to accept me! What should I do?

Olajumoke writes from Akure Ondo state

15 thoughts on “My Nigerian Boyfriend Is A Virgin But I’m Not, How Do I Tell Him The Truth

  1. THIS IS exactly why it is not good to start any important thing with a lie. It is like when an athlete leaps off on the wrong foot. And every lie told begets another, and another, and yet another.

    The lullaby that, with tunes so clever,
    Lulls truth to sleep never sings forever. —Tony Ulonso Anidike

    MY DEAR SISTER, ALL MEN ARE not the same. Some men might not have cared half a hoot about your past. This one who cares so much about it, I wouldn’t say he doesn’t love you—in fact, I bet he does. It is better that he learns the truth he seeks now, when you are not yet married to him. Then, if he is not able to handle it, you both could go your separate ways without much shame: for it is a deeper hurt and a greater shame to separate after you had gone to the altar with your man.

    THEREFORE, BE bold and face your fears now that it is time. Take a day aside and go to him. Prepare his mind that he is about to hear what may not go down well with him. But before you spill it, let him know that you are deeply sorry for your mistakes, and that you have changed your ways(I assume you had not continued seeing other men since you met this guy. If you have been cheating on him, make up your mind to STOP).

    AFTER HE HEARS the truth at last, if he leaves, let it be. Better to lose him now than after you had already been joined to him before the world of your family and friends. Who even knows? If he gets angry and breaks up with you, that might only be his first reaction. In his more sober moment he may come to realize that you were kind and sincere enough not to blindfold him into a marriage founded on falsehood. That would perhaps give him a change of heart to return to you. (And I hope to God that this man himself is a virgin as he gives you to believe)

    BEST OF LUCK!

  2. Haba,,u shud tell him the truth no matter what,it’s better he learns about it now than latter which’ll absolutely hurt him d more & still bring an end 2d relationship u have.In a relationship u don’t beg 2b accepted or force ur way in2 it,ask anyone who did it they never ended well.Only d truth can make a difference now,If he’s urs b sure u’ll never loose him.
    Every one on the surface of this earth has a struggle & at some point has done something wrong,u shudnt have lived like u did.As 4 him,constantly asking about ur past doesn’t show maturity,neither does being a Virgin’s a yardstick 2 havin a successful relationship.The past shud remain where it belongs,don’t ever make another mistake of tryin so hard 2 keep him with lies,ok? This definitely’s not d best option dear!

  3. I really find this so embarrassing, why asking who, where how, these guys asking question that may hunting for the rest of his life, or on the other hand am sure he is not mature to marry regardless of his age. I don’t think all this questions are necessary, the only thing he should see in you is love and your beauty and not your past life.

    you lady on the other hand is digging deeper to your grave, you should tell him you’ve slept with so many guys and if he truly love you that should not stop him from loving you. tell him everything such guy may commit suicide any day he finds out, or rather these kind of man will fornicate too much in future mark my word.

    finally am sure both of you are not mature to marry, love does see any wrong in people you love. send me your face book account so i can have your mobile numbers and call to tell you what to do.

  4. Hmmm, @metu, @clemcie and @bok I read all your comments and I tell you, there are lots to gain in it. My dear, what will be will be. If telling him now will make the relationship come to an end, it is better! Than to be married a divorce sets in. Come to think of it, why his he head bent about your past? I wish you all the best dearie.

  5. Sister, you made a mistake tying to set up a foundation with lies thinking it was gonna hide til eternity, set a day for yourself, surrender yourself to God in prayers n supplication, confessing your sins to God, He is faithful n just to forgive all sins, believe that God has forgiven you n has given you victory n boldness.
    Go to your man, kneel before him n tell him all the things about your past. Leave procrastination n face the shame. wish you luck

  6. Sorry, but I am just puzzled and thinking aloud. If you do not blame him for being a virgin, why should he blame you for not being one? Your non-virgin status happened BEFORE you knew him and before you had any relationship with him. Probing to know the where and who and why makes it worse. I just wonder if the guy is not looking for excuse to use in berating you each time you offend him? Tell him he makes you feel insecure his digging into his past while you accept him as he is. It is quite tiresome having to explain everything you do to your love for fear of his leaving you.
    Tell him you love him and to trust you. Since you have confessed to sleeping with two men already. I do not see what difference it would make that you slept with more. The important thing is being faithful yo him and not giving him cause to distrust you in future. If he cannot accept who you are now I doubt you will be happy with him. Love should be mutual and not send one partner into insecurity bondage!

  7. @BOK AND THE REST WHO THINK this man is immature, I bet you’ll never know how it feels for a guy to maintain his virginity whereas his girl is not. Sometimes the guy might feel somewhat jealous or having been cheated by the girl, even if the girl remained glued to only him after she met him. What makes him ask those question is that “jealous” feeling that he had maintained himself while his lady did not. Left for this guy, he might want to marry a lady whonis equally virgin. But coming by such a woman is very difficult these days. Even if she is finally seen, what about her character?

    If we put ourselves in people’s shoes, we would perhaps be able to appreciate why they do the things they do.

  8. Since he has accepted you not still a virgin, no need to worry except you are still meeting those people you have slept with or maintaining any relationship with them.
    Now, the question here is…those guys you slept with,are they for one night stand or you had short relationship with them? There are possibilities he know some of them or someone might have told him, but he really want to hear them from you. But at the end,what matters is you’re no more a virgin and he has accepted you,so do not cheat on him.

    On a joke side…they said the thing do not have meter,so how he gona know how many

  9. Dont tell him anything more about your past, he will use it against you. Men dont like the truth, they like to be lied to.Am telling you the truth bcos am a man.

  10. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HA AH AH AH , JUST TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND IN A VERY SLOW VOICE THAT YOU ARE MADAM EXPRESS HOLE HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOLE , NOT TOO TIGHT TURNEL, HA HA HA HA , HOLE TOO BIG

  11. @metu I always tell you that you will make heaven with your comments, on points as always.

    @Ms ERANKO YOU ARE HILARIOUS NOT FAR FROM BENCH EITHER.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *