June 26, 2016 – Not Happy Or Feeling Miserable In Your Relationship? It’s Time To Press Delete Or Backspace Button
If you woke up one day and it clearly dawns on you that the person you have been in a relationship with for a while now has done more damage to your life than add to it; then it becomes imperative that you quickly locate the nearest exit door and run for your life.
As human beings, we are meant to add value to one another. As we live symbiotically, there is always transference of traits that go on, both the good and the bad.
That is why it is very important you know the kind of person you allow into your life to avoid transference of nasty traits. Having said that, you can see why it is even more important, to be careful who you allow into your life as an intimate partner.
Intimate relationships leave you in a vulnerable state where you let down your guard and allow the person you love to have free access to your innermost being.
Your heart is left unguarded for this person to either fill it with loving or hateful words. Words are like arrows that pierce deep into our souls and capable of breaking or building our lives.
If you keep allowing such abusive words to rain on you from a partner you are in a serious relationship with; what happens when you finally get married? I’m sure the cartoon characters- Tom and Jerry-will have an even better relationship than yours.
So if you have found yourself in a relationship where you are being abused both physically and verbally, I think you deserve a lot better than you are being dished out.
Find that exist door now before that person turns you into an emotional wreck! We are all too familiar with this saying that ‘love is blind’. It’s a pity that most people go all the way to make this saying a reality in their lives by being blind and also completely deaf to obvious signs that they are in a terrible relationship.
Sometimes they allow the deep emotion of love which they feel to control and make them remain in a bad relationship. Even when their partner is exhibiting some characters which are hurtful to the point of cruelty, they still cling to that relationship tenaciously.
Why I wonder? Is it that they relish the idea of playing the victim, a case of having a low self-esteem or they just don’t know what to do to get out of the unpalatable situation they find themselves in?
It does not matter whose fault it is that made the relationship to hit the rocks; the bottom line is that both of you are not happy in the relationship and it has lingered for a long time and you are not even sure it will yield any fruition in the near future. Like I always tell anybody I’m privileged to counsel, ‘when in doubt, delete or press the backspace button’.
You can never take a wrong step if you take a few steps backward. This will help you to pause and review where that relationship is heading.
After careful self-examination and you realise that the relationship is heading nowhere, the best thing to do in such a situation is to find the exit before more damage is done to your emotional psyche. It’s a sad story in life that the people we fall in love with do not necessarily have to love us back.
Someone aptly said the biggest problem of love is that a good guy falls in love with the wrong girl who cheats on him, so when he finally meets a good girl who loves him to pieces, he goes ahead to cheat and hurt her because he is on a rebound from the hurt he got from his previous relationship and this has become a vicious circle of life. It’s such a sad story, isn’t it?
But it is silly to go on a pity party or hang around someone who obviously does not care about you but tramples on your love repeatedly.
Get a grip on your emotions and think of yourself for once. Stop dancing to the whims and caprices of someonewho does not even bend the smallest finger to meet your needs. It is important to note that being in love does not mean you should allow yourself to be held captive in a relationship that you need so desperately to escape from.
Also know that being alone and uncommitted, is not the worst possible place you can be. You have the capability of surviving in the world without being attached to someone who brings you constant emotional turmoil.
Somebody else who will love and respect you for who you are is out there waiting for you; if you can only take your eyes off this destructive person long enough to embrace love with the right person. Say NO to that revolving door of misery without looking back.
If you are in a failing or unhappy relationship and you are looking for an exit out of it, just convince yourself with every fibre of your being that this is not where you should be. And then start executing the actions towards your ESCAPE!
[By Vanessa Okwara]