Biblical View Of Dating After Divorce & What The Bible Says About Dating While Separated

biblical view dating after divorce

By NG Marriage Expert

Biblical View Of Dating After Divorce And What The Bible Says About Dating While Separated

Divorce is becoming rampant in today’s society. Within the last five years, it has increased by over 10% and does not seem to be abating. In Nigeria, this trend has also risen with some couples not fully divorced but separated for long periods of  years. It is usually during this period that one or both of the separated couple may start dating someone else.

From Christianity’s point of view, the Bible is very explicit on the issue of divorce. It states clearly in Malachi 2:16, “The man who hates and divorces his wife” says the Lord the God of Israel “does violence to the one he should protect”, says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard and do not be unfaithful.

For the avoidance of any doubt, it also states in the new testament that “anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Luke 16:18).

From the above scriptures, one can see that marriage is and should be a life long commitment. Therefore, regardless of the stance the society takes, it is something that God frowns at. Little wonder the wonder the Bible is replete with so many divorce verses both in the old and new testament.

Based on the foregoing, one can see that there would be no need to date after a divorce seeing that its aim is usually to find a significant other. If divorce is already frowned at, why would there be any need to date?

However, God in his omniscient wisdom already knew that marriage is between two imperfect human beings therefore, quarrels are bound to occur which may then lead to separation and consequently, divorce.

He then laid down some  rules (in the old testament) in the event that it happens to make provisions for them, especially the women. (Deut. 24:1-4). These laws were given not because it was the will of God but because of the hardness of the people’s hearts.

There are some controversies revolving around the following scriptures: (Matthew 5:32), “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery”, (Matthew 19:9) “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another woman commits adultery”.

This was where Jesus gave the condition for divorce on the grounds of adultery. Following this, some people see this as a basis for divorce with or without proof.

In another passage (1Corinthians 7:15) the Bible says “But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances. God has called us to live in peace”. This is where another major exception was made whereby remarriage (and possibly dating) is allowed if an unbelieving partner divorces the believer.

In this case, it would not be wrong if the other partner decides to date someone else for the purpose of a remarriage.

It is worthy of note that divorce and separation are quite different. Divorce means the legal end of a marriage while separation does not signify it’s end but can however accelerate the end of such marriage.

  Is It Right to Date While Separated?

Moving a bit from the Christian stand point, let us look at it from a social perspective, separated is married. If one wishes to start dating, then he or she must legally end the marriage. This would ensure that both parties are through and can now pursue another relationship.

Dating while being separated from the Christian view, may only happen if the event described in 1 Corinthians 7:15 happens. In this instance, the believer is no longer bound by the laws of marriage. Only then can one be allowed to date even while separated. Otherwise, the process would be to end the marriage legally which would be prohibited except on the grounds of adultery.

Even then, the person permitted to remarry (or date in this instance) would be the innocent partner, not the guilty one. Some people date even after being the reason for a separation. This is clearly not evident and has no spiritual backing.

2 thoughts on “Biblical View Of Dating After Divorce & What The Bible Says About Dating While Separated

  1. THE BIBLE WAS WRITTEN BY THIRTY -THREE AUTHORS

    EVERYBODY WITH THEIR OWN IDEAS AND THEY WROTE THE BOOK AS IF THEY ARE GOD .

    WE ARE NOW IN COMPUTER AGE IN WHICH WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT TO DO WITH OUR LIVES .

    SO, I WOULD SAY, THAT WE NEED TO UPDATE AND CREATE A NEW SOFTWARE THAT WOULD SERVE US FROM BEING A SLAVE TO SOMEONE ELSE.

    IT IS NOT BY FORCE THAT YOU MUST LIVE WITH SOMEONE BEFORE YOU ARE MAN AND WIFE OR BEFORE YOU HAVE KIDS .

    YOU CAN HAVE KIDS THROUGH SURROGATE, AND YOU CAN HAVE KIDS BEING A BABY MAMA AND BABY DADDY.

    IF YOU ARE A WOMAN WITH A GOOD JOB AND ABLE TO FEED YOURSELF AND PAY ALL YOUR BILLS , THERE IS NO POINT GIVEN UP YOUR FREEDOM IN WHICH SOMEONE WOULD BE TELL YOU WHEN TO GO OUT AND WHEN TO COME BACK OR WHEN YOU SHOULD COOK FOR HIM AND DO AN UNPAID JOB AND AT THE END , THIS MAN END UP TREATING YOU LIKE A SHITHOLE , IN WHICH MANY HAVE DIED . THIS OLD SYSTEM IS NO LONGER SERVING US ANYMORE

    WE NEED A NEW SOFTWARE THAT WOULD SERVE US, BETTER IF YOUR SPOUSE TURN TO BE A CONTROL FREAK, JEALOUS PERSON IN WHICH WHATEVER YOU DO IS RIGHT IN HIS EYES,

    MY DEAR SISTERS PLEASE JUST PACK YOUR BAG AND CREATE A NEW SOFTWARE THAT WOULD SERVE YOU.

    YOUR MARRIAGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GOD. BECAUSE YOU WERE NOT JUST BORN BECAUSE OF MARRIAGE. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIVE YOUR LIFE YOUR WAY.

    GOD IS NOT THE ONE WHO HELP YOU CHOOSE A WIFE BEATER, PLEASE DO NOT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO SEND YOU TO YOUR GRAVE BEFORE YOU MOVE FORWARD. IF YOUR PARTNER IS TREATING YOU LIKE A SLAVE

    PLEASE MOVE FORWARD DO NOT SAY HE WOULD CHANGE BECAUSE HE WOULD NEVER CHANGE.

  2. @MADAM ERANKOO.God bless you for saying the truth,let me reserve my comment cos some people don’t know what others are passing through in their marriages i keep saying it am also a living witness,thank God am stil alive

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