Dayo Amusa: I Have Problem Finding A Good Partner, I Keep Attracting Cheaters & Drug Addicts
October 5, 2017 – Dayo Amusa: I’m Tired Of Dating Men With Emotional Problem, Drug Addicts, Alcoholics & Sociopaths
Dayo Amusa: I Have Problem Finding A Suitable Man, I Keep Attracting Cheaters, Drug Addicts & Sociopaths
Nollywood actress Dayo Amusa believes many ladies in her position are not always lucky when it come to finding the type of men they really desire to have.
Dayo Amusa said she has been in that position for along time and each time she tried to help the men that came into her life, she failed at it.
Check out what she wrote on Instagram few hours ago:
‘I used to be a fixer. I stayed in bad relationships, attracting the same type of men—men who needed to be fixed.
I know so many women in the same position. We attract cheating men, commitment-phobic men, emotionally unavailable men, emotionally damaged men, alcoholics, drug abusers, narcissists and sociopaths.
It’s like we are a magnet for men whose pieces are shattered all over the place. And for some reason, we feel compelled to put these pieces back together.
But I must admit, I have failed every single time.
I never gave myself a chance to sit back and question my motives. Instead of asking why I constantly felt obligated to pick up someone else’s broken pieces, I ran to pick them up without a second thought.
Being selfless made me think that coming second didn’t matter because I was putting someone else’s worthiness first. And in the end, rank doesn’t matter, right?
I realized that the reason I was attracting these types of men was because I believed I could save them.
As selfless, thoughtful, giving women, we think we will be “that woman”—the one who will change them. We think we can turn a cheater into a loyal boyfriend. We think we can help him walk away from the drugs and alcohol.
We believe we can help him get over his commitment issues and aim for a stable future with us. We trust that we can get rid of the emotional baggage that he has been carrying for years.
We attract these men because we believe they need us. And to leave them would be selfish, insensitive and ruthless.
The sad news is, we constantly blame ourselves when they don’t change. Every time they fail us, we think it’s because we failed them. Their hold on us becomes stronger; they keep us around knowing they have nothing to offer.
It’s just my view. What’s your view??? Let’s interact.’
Ladies should stop getting desperate when it comes to choosing a life partner.
Marriage is a serious business and not a game of lucky.
If a man is a drug addict when you met him, you must keep in mind that you can’t change him.
Finally, if a man is not in love with a woman, he may stage the above character flaws Dayo Amusa mentioned to gain freedom.
If a man really loves a woman, he will do anything to please her until he takes her home to mama.
Dayo Amusa needs to change her association if she really wants to find a better man to date.
October 6, 2017 at 12:24 AM
GO AND SIT DOWN..GOOD MEN ARE STILL THERE..UNA DON RECK UNA SELVES TIRE.YOU LADIES FLY WITH THE HIGH AND MIGHTY.EAT BREAK FAST IN LONDON AND DINNER IN DUBAI WITH SARCASM WRITTEN ALL OVER YOUR FACES.FLAUNT YOUR LIOU VUTTON BAG AND ROLEX WATCHES IN EVERY EVENT..U CAN ONLY BE ATTRACTED TO FAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU ,YAHOO YAHOO GUYS AND GROOMED TOUTS.SORRY,THE BOYS (men)ARE WISE AND NO MORE SMILING.THEY GO FOR THE GOOD STUFF
Keep it real
October 6, 2017 at 3:40 AM
Lol..@iron bar “they go for the good stuff”. I also want good stuff.
October 6, 2017 at 12:30 PM
thank you iron bar, you said it right, here in the uk when you see so called self acclaimed nollywood actors/actresses as they call themselves they are so full of themselves , arrogance written all over so rude
October 6, 2017 at 12:29 AM
This Nemesis,its too common with way ward women especially men or women that dates married people together with curses that follows it .SOLUTION, just repent stop putting assunder in someones marriage,ask God for forgiveness,turn a new leaf ,ur own will locate u.
Keep it real
October 6, 2017 at 2:28 AM
First question you should ask yourself is what really happened and broke these men into pieces that you claimed you always comes to FIXED and never worked because you maybe doing the same thing that got them where they are. So check well on your end..
October 6, 2017 at 6:08 AM
Dayo only you no where the shoe pinches, change! Most of you celebrities are full of Ego.
October 6, 2017 at 8:09 PM
“It’s just my view…” That’s being simplistic. You know, you just acted as a huge speaker connected to millions of microphones. I mean, you just spoke the minds of millions of women around the globe.
I love your openness and I like the fact that you have helped these women bare their minds through you.
Something tells me you know partly, how to unravel this mastery or how to untie this seemingly unknotable knot but, you lack the willpower to apply the advice from your spirit.
I seriously frown at generalisation. Am not a fan of it one bit. Even though, I don’t know you close-up, I sniff a huge whiff of genuine Love in you, and the Holy Bible says “Love covereth all..”
I think you have a call which you have been applying without the backing of the Caller. Same applies other women in similar situation as yours.
To me, the synopsis of the explanation to this vicious circle is that you(women) have unabating desire to care for, love, protect and possible “save” whatever or whoever they have theirs minds on, and that’s where the nucleus of the puzzle lies. It’s safe to say that, every woman has this quality(to nurture or “save”) intrinsically fixed somewhere in their subconsciousness. That’s a very serious problem under the sun. This quality or emotion or desire to save, is not unique to human beings but, also innate in lower animals. The female gender has this inbuilt whim to care, nurture, protect and possibly save who or what they love. That instinct is in them, but they become overwhelmed by it when it comes to matters of Love and this is where the selfish males among the male gender cashes in.
May I state categorically that, the vicious circle begins when the first relation fails and the persuasive deluding voice begins to spin incessant yearn in your subconsciousness that it was all your fault, courtesy your inability to save… This is the genesis of the problem. Some forces through the actions and words of the man would now make you view yourself as an amature in the business or responsibility to nurture, protect, love or ” save” and then you are hitched to the marathon of unending self-imposed responsibility. Yeah, completely self-imposed.
Listen, the earlier you release that you have no power to save anyone, the better it is for you. Who or what informed your cognition that you have the responsibility to save a soul, when you can’t even save yourself. The most that can happen is, having someone saved through you but, not by you. You have to be saved first, until that happens, you will find it irresistible giving in to an adventure you have ventured into severally without success.
You are trying to achieve this with your own knowledge and, it is bound to fail, except for the lucky ones. Be saved first, I promise, you will be given a new vision to see your own because, there is more to this issue than meets the ordinary eye.
Some people are so special that, God will not permit them to settle for something less. When a Father loves a child dearly, he makes important choices for her/him….