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Fathers, Be There For Your Children, They Need You To Validate Their Self Worth & Identity

father children relationship

April 23, 2016 – Fathers, Be There For Your Children, They Need You To Validate Their Self Worth & Identity

Just being around and spending every day time with your child is a great start. Good relationships between dads and teenagers are about dad being around and being involved.

These kinds of relationships can boost teenagers’ self-esteem. For example, some research shows that teenage girls whose dads are warm and supportive report higher levels of self-esteem than peers. Loving and attentive fathering has also been linked with fewer symptoms of depression in teenagers. Good relationship between dad and their male children help teenage boys stay out of trouble too. Children, especially boys, learn a lot from their dads about being in relationships.

For example, the ways dads interact with their partners and children tends to influence how their children act in relationships later in their lives. The bad news is that harsh fathering that a situation where dads give less support and have more fights with kids is associated with more symptoms of depression in teenagers. Depression in dads themselves is also linked to psychological problems in teenagers.

Both mums and dads spend less time with their children during adolescence as teenagers gain more independence. But changes in father-teenager relationships can open doors to new ways of connecting. Dads can find new ways to bond with their children in the teenage years.

fathers kids self esteem

For example, you might find yourselves sharing leisure activities that you both enjoy, such as watching movies, sport or getting out for some exercise. Teenagers might also turn to their dads for help in areas such as deciding on careers or managing money.

So dad’s role is still important your child’s younger years. Don’t be fooled into thinking that dads aren’t all that important. Kids need dads to validate their self-worth. Many problems can come to a family and to future relationships for the children when a dad is absent or not as involved with his kids as they need him to be. Not only does an absent dad make it hard on the mother who then has to play both roles but it is also confusing to the children. Mum the nurturer becomes mum the authoritarian, and the kids begin to feel a void in their life that can create relational minefields in their future. What about a dad who is there, but he remains disengaged? This too can be a problem, maybe an even bigger problem than an absent dad.

It can lead to a loss in a child’s self-worth and identity. They begin thinking that they are not important or not worthy of dad’s attention, or worse yet, they are a burden to him. As a result, they can develop insecurities and may never feel they measure up or are not good enough to anyone.

Each parent has a separate role when it comes to building a child’s self-esteem. Moms instill value in her children and dads validate it. If mom is doing her job, but dad is not right behind her doing the validating, a son may enter into inappropriate relationships to do that for him. Male teenagers want someone to validate their self worth and they can only get that from dad.



  1. fifelomo

    April 23, 2016 at 7:04 AM

    Thank you for this. Lesson for all.

  2. fifelomo

    April 23, 2016 at 7:05 AM

    Thank you for this. Lesson for all.

  3. Metu Nyetu

    April 23, 2016 at 7:33 AM

    Profound. The father is as important as the mother, an none can take the place of the other.

    I remember one of my neighbours those days in Enugu. Their father would always travel out of the state for his business, and such trips took him about two months away from home. On one occasion like that, he returned and his son could not recognise him. And what did he do? He subsequently quit that job to have time for his family.

    Fatherhood is a privilege what no man should joke with. Some men have set their businesses ahead of their families, leaving the whole weight of active parenting on their wives, while they, the men, provide the finances from afar to run the family.

    Active parenting consists close, but not obtrusive, monitoring of your children, admonishing, counselling, encouraging, and censuring them. And the result is best when the man of the house is involved in this aspect. That is how responsible children are raised who don’t become threats to the soceity.

    With this in mind, let us imagine the adours challenge faced by single mothers who found themselves in that status on account of divorce or death of their husbands. God is their strength.

  4. Maryf

    April 23, 2016 at 11:05 AM

    Our fathers today enjoy staying far from home, giving excuses that its because of their job. They love spending time with their mistresses, neglecting their family and the well being of their teenage children. Fathers are the fuel powering the problems we are facing in this world today. Some don’t even pay school fees and feed their children. When you ask them for money to solve problem, they will ask their girl child to collect from their mother or boyfriend.

  5. Clemcie

    April 23, 2016 at 11:16 AM

    Well Said,,.But What Happens 2d Adage Dat Says: What A Man Can Do, A Woman Can Do Even Better? Pls Some 1 Put Me Thru,.!

  6. betty

    April 23, 2016 at 1:08 PM

    This is true

  7. D Hunter

    April 23, 2016 at 3:08 PM

    The absence of a Father in a home can breed up children without good home training.
    But the presence of a Father has tripple effects on the whole family.
    When I marry, I promise that I shall always be there for my wife and children to give them all the requisite supports to build a responsible peaceful and a happy home.

    But for now… I take a stroll…

  8. sola olaniyi

    April 25, 2016 at 11:17 AM

    Nice written piece

  9. sharon stone

    April 27, 2016 at 9:23 PM

    excellent write up.

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