How To Boost Self Confidence & Develop Healthy Self Esteem
Growing up as a teenager, I carried low self esteem along as though it was my best friend. At 15, most of my mates then in school were already had male species flocking around them. Unlike me, they were beautiful, tall, and richly endowed with female assets. Most times, when I looked at them, I go green with envy. I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder why I wasn’t as beautiful as they are. I wrote myself off several times; I wasn’t good enough to be any boy’s girlfriend. I mean, what did I have to offer?.
I actually remember one time a guy asked me out. It was my first time and dude was totally out of my league. Or at least, that was what I thought. He was all shades of handsome. He could pass as the CEO Sweet Boys Association with beards to die for. He was that cute and his dress sense was very dope. The first time he asked me to be his girl, the first thing that came to my mind was, “Why this boy would be asking me out. Didn’t he see other better girls? What did I have to offer?”
That was how my low self esteem messed with me; it messed so much with my psych. It made me not to feel good about myself. That is exactly what low self esteem does. It makes you doubt your capabilities. You don’t feel good about whom you are and your ability to achieve things you want to achieve. Now, one would ask, what is self confidence?.
Self confidence means one’s ability to be satisfied with yourself. It comes with a sense of self-awareness that makes you comfortable in your own skin. Self confidence leaves you certain about your abilities. Like you are so sure about yourself and what you can offer. There are people that want to achieve a goal so much that it gives them sleepless night. Most of these people really want to achieve their goals but then they are battling with their low self esteem. They are not certain that their idea makes enough sense or that people would actually come to appreciate it. Self confidence doesn’t leave you in doubt. It makes you very courageous to actualize your goals.
There is no doubt that all of us have a measure of low self esteem. I mean, there are times when we doubt ourselves but there comes a time in life when we need to be truly confident in ourselves; when we need to push aside all the doubts in our mind. That is why we need to strive to improve our self confidence. The decision to work on boasting one’s self esteem is never optional but mandatory.
Why You Should Work On Your Self Confidence
Below are the reasons why you need to start working towards improving your level of self confidence-
IT MAKES YOU ATTRACTIVE
From the story I told above, when I asked the dude what exactly he saw in me that made me want to date me, it turned him off immediately. My friend will always tell me that there is nothing as sexy as high self esteem. Once someone has a very high self confidence, it makes them so attractive no matter how ugly one looks. Do you want to attract the right kind of people in your life? If the answer is yes, then you need to level up on your self confidence.
IT MAKES YOU PRODUCTIVE
A person that is hardly confident on his or her abilities is hardly productive. It’s not even possible. As a writer, I think there was a time I suffered from low self confidence. I never thought my writings were good enough. I would just write and hide it under my pillow. I wasn’t courageous enough to give it to anyone to read. It actually reduced the level of my productivity. My mind was clouded with questions like, what was the point writing if nobody will ever read it. At a point I stopped writing and what other way could one become a better writer if not through consistent writing?
IT MAKES YOU VALUE YOURSELF MORE
When you are swimming comfortably in a pool of high self confidence, you will feel more valued. It increases your self-worth. You value yourself and your capabilities; it makes you walk with your head held up high that nobody can try to intimidate you. You are proud of who you are that you don’t give a hoot about people’s negative opinion about you.
YOU DON’T GET TO BE DEPRESSED
One of the reasons why people get depressed and commit suicide is usually lack of self confidence. When someone starts feeling like there is nothing good about them; they feel worthless, that feeling alone is enough to trigger depression.
IT OPENS THE DOOR TO YOUR SUCCESS
There is no doubt that people with high self esteem tend to achieve more in life. That’s because they are courageous and fearless to take risks. What could be said about risk takers? They are achievers.
It’s true we know that self confidence is very important but we don’t know the degree of its importance. Self confidence can change your life while lack of it will drag you to the mud. Self confidence makes you stronger while lack of it makes you weaker.
Now that you know the importance of having a high self esteem. The next question is, how does one develop his or her self confidence?
Below are some of the tips on how to develop a self confidence.
How To Develop Self Confidence
ACCEPT YOURSELF THE WAY YOU ARE
There is this saying that goes like, “If you don’t love yourself, who will? If you don’t accept yourself and your shortcomings, who will?” People with low self esteem seem not to love anything about themselves; and when you don’t like anything about yourself, there is a tendency that nobody will like it. In other to build a healthy self confidence, you need to start loving yourself; believe in yourself; belief in your abilities; believe that you are good enough; that you are incredibly and marvelously made. Always find a way to compliment and congratulate yourself for the small success you achieve.
LEARN TO CREATE BOUNDARIES
According to Harvey Fierstein, “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define it yourself”. People with a healthy self confidence know how to say “No”. To them, their personal need comes first. They understand that they can’t please everyone. So, learn how to say “No” to people without feeling bad about it; learn how to be more assertive; learn how to ask for what you want. It helps you take charge of your life and increases your self esteem.
DITCH YOUR COMFORT ZONE AND FACE YOUR FEARS
When you are insecure, when you underestimate your abilities because you think everyone else is better than you, you will definitely achieve nothing. The best way to overcome low self confidence is to face your insecurities head on; do one thing that scares you every day; take the risk and learn from the experience, it helps build your self confidence.
TAKE NOTICE OF WHAT YOU HAVE ACHIEVED ALREADY
It is really easy to fall into the hands of low self confidence when we fail to recognize and celebrate our achievements. To build a healthy self esteem, it is important that from time to time, you make a list of all the things you have achieved no matter how little you think they are. Celebrate your little achievements, it will stir up your self confidence and you will achieve more.
PUT AWAY ALL NEGATIVITY
The best way to build a healthy self confidence is putting away all sorts of negativity in your life and focus on the positive. Instead of focusing on all the problems you think you have in life, focus on the solutions instead. Surround yourself with people that are filled with positive vibes.
QUIT COMPARING YOURSELF WITH OTHERS
When you constantly compare yourself with someone else; when you measure your achievements with what someone else has achieved, you will constantly be down with low self confidence. Learn to stop comparing yourself and your success with someone else because the truth is that, no matter how much we try to downplay it, there is always someone better than you. So instead of comparing yourself with someone else, replace it with a better habit; compare yourself to your former self. You should strive to be better than you were yesterday, that should be your constant goal.
The truth is that self confidence is not rocket science; it is something that we can all learn, practice and master. Nothing is as important as how you feel and think about yourself.