Getting Through Life’s Hardest Times: What To Do When Life Gets You Down And You Feel All Alone
There is a popular saying that tough times do not last but tough people do. Life can bring its own barrage of challenges and troubles which usually seem overwhelming at that time. It seems as if one can never get through it because it comes with full force. And just like the popular adage says, “It never rains, it pours”. Such describes how tough life can be. It comes in one full swoop and threatens to submerge the person.
The truth is that we all know that life is not easy but more often than not, we are usually not prepared for what it hauls at us. So how do we get past life’s challenges? What if it reaches a point of crescendo? What if it feels like we are on a quick sand especially when we are not getting support from our friends and or family?
Nothing is new under the sun as they say therefore, whatever you may be going through now, you can be sure someone else has gone through it before. Therefore, help is surely on your way, of that you can be sure.
Therefore, no matter what you are going through at the moment, this article will serve as a guide to help you get through it. Although it is not comprehensive neither is it all-encompassing, some of the tips here can help you get through your difficult times:
Stay Positive: Positivity is very crucial for anyone who wants to overcome tough times. Now this may sound cliche and over flogged but you cannot have a negative mindset and expect to surmount yet another difficult situation.
By being and staying positive, you are looking beyond the obstacle and seeing a better future. You must have to keep reminding yourself that there is light at the end of the tunnel. When life hits you, you can decide to brace it and stay positive or retreat into your cocoon and watch things get worse.
Sure we all have our bad days when we are feeling discouraged and out of sorts and even cry but eventually, we have to pick our pieces and continue moving.
Count Your Blessings: Not to sound religious but you definitely need to count all the things you have been blessed with while still hoping for more.
Gratitude they say is the path to happiness and peace of mind. We always want what we do not have and because of this, we often do not appreciate the ones we have. Take some time to list all the things you are grateful for, then list your expectations. Granted, your expectations may outnumber what you have but look at it this way, what if you had everything on your expectation list and are sick, would it matter? Or worse still, you are dead?
Find one thing to be grateful for daily and appreciate it. Do not ever think your situation is the worst, there are people going through hell.
Learn From the Difficult Situation: As John Maxwell posits, “facing difficulties is inevitable, learning from them is optional”. Learning from a difficult situation helps you to know what exactly went wrong. This way, you limit the chances of it ever happening again or if it does happen, you will know how to reduce the difficulty.
Talk to God: Which ever you believe in- God, Allah, Buddha etc, rely and anchor your faith on him. Remember that this will pass too. This does not mean you will just pray, hope and do nothing. Even the Bible says that faith without work is dead.
Therefore, work, pray and hope. If you are not a religious person, you are a spiritual being, draw strength from your spirituality.
Take Solace in Numbers: An Igbo adage says “igwebuike” this literally translates to there is strength in numbers. But not just numbers, the right numbers.
Having the right people around you is one of the best things that can happen to you when you are going through hard times. Make sure you have people who have got your back, are honest and caring. This is probably the darkest time of your life, but when you have people or that one person who shows you love, it makes the day a lot less darker. They also need to be available because there are times you just need to call someone and share how you are feeling.
Do not Give Up: What will now be the essence if you do? Your testimony will not be complete and there will be nothing to pass on to the people who may be facing similar situations. Each failure we face in life is like a builder, helping us to get through life and be tougher.
Whining and complaining all day about it is not exactly going to change the situation if anything, it is going to make it worse. Realise that situations like this work both ways, it can either make or mar you.
When tough times come as a result of what you ought to have done, revisit the situation and do it again, but this time, even better. The important thing is to never give up. A Japanese proverb said “fall down seven times and stand up eight”, meditate on this.
Do not Be Hard On Yourself: Do not take it out on yourself when you are experiencing difficult situations. You are doing the best you can and soon, things will begin to look up but before then, you need to take care of yourself. This is what is going to help you survive.
Find something and engage yourself in. You can take a walk or work out, watch a movie or read a nice book- whatever that makes you happy, just do something. This is to get your mind and body engaged instead of indulging in self-pity and regrets.
Find People Who Have Overcome Similar Situations: It is necessary because this is what you can relate with. When you discuss with people, you glean from their own experiences.
Remember that nothing in life that is worthwhile comes easy. If it did, you will not appreciate it now would you?
When you reach out to people who have gone through similar situation(s), it can make it a less arduous. Such inspiration makes you relate more with the situation and gives you the hope that one day you too will overcome.
Find Out Things You Cannot Control: In life, there are certain situations you cannot control no matter how much you try. Find out those ones and remove your mind from them.
Instead, channel your energy into those whose solutions are in sight because if you do not, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.
To do this, you can draw up a list of the things you can do to improve the situations you can handle. Focus strictly on them while removing your mind from those you cannot change.
Help Others: We rise by lifting others. Another way to get through hard times is to help others who are also going through similar situations. Helping them does not necessarily mean giving them money. Simply listening to people and giving them one or two pieces of advice may be all the encouragement they need. So when next life gets hard on you, shift your energy from your own issue to the next person.
You will feel so good that you were an anchor for someone to lean on. Plus, it could be an eye opener for you to see that your own situation may not be so bad after all.
Forgive: Sometimes the situation we find ourselves in may have been caused by someone or other people. Naturally, we feel anger and resentment towards them.
The truth is, you need to forgive them because you are doing it more for yourself than for them. This way, you will be focusing your energy on the situation itself not on the person or persons. Or perhaps it was you who caused it. Forgive yourself too otherwise, you will be indulging in self pity and doubt which will only leave you twirling in the pool of frustration.
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