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How To Be A Better, Secure And A More Positive Person In A Relationship

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How To Be A Better, Secure And A More Positive Person In A Relationship

As humans, we have been wired to need others. Right from when you were a kid till now, you must have noticed how the presence of others has made your life better. It is true that not all relationships are helpful but the few helpful ones you have must be handled with care if we really still want to have them.

Many relationships have led people away from their purpose while many have also dragged others to the right paths of life. The destination of a relationship depends on two important factors:

  1. The individuals involved
  2. The reason for their friendship

To build a great relationship, you must be cautious of whom you go into the relationship with and the purpose you need to achieve in the relationship. This article is about building better relationships by becoming a better partner. If this sounds like what you want, then you are on the right page.

Why relationships fail

Many great relationships have failed especially when they were needed the most. This has left many broken and wounded without the hope of getting back on their feet in the nearest future. Many people have had great relationships but ended up crumbling them with their own hands either knowingly or unknowingly. Did your relationship fail? If yes, it could be because of one of these reasons:

  1. Poor communication skills, they bring up misunderstandings
  2. Lack of commitment: a good relationship needs effort and time and a relationship cannot grow without them
  • Lack of trust which gives room for suspicions and insecurities.

3. Betrayal of trust

4. Distance

5. Difference in maturity level which mostly happens when the age gap is so large and inappropriate.

  • insecurity
  • Negativity

A good relationship is built by people who are willing to stay together. For a relationship to work, the parties involved must be willing to work and make adjustments that can advance the relationship.

Before trying to make a new relationship work, let me ask you these questions.

  1. Have you ever had a failed relationship?
  2. Why did it fail?
  3. Was it your fault or your partner’s?

If your relationship failed or if it is not going the way you have always wanted it to, you always have a chance to make it better. One of the ways of making your relationship better is by becoming better yourself.

Becoming a better partner

Becoming a better partner involves learning from your past mistakes and making amends. You can become better by:

  1. Improving your communication

Before you talk, try to be considerate and constructive about everything. Be sure your words are soft and helpful enough to still convey your message without creating a misunderstanding. Take out time to talk efficiently about issues concerning your relationship. Be more understanding and less judgmental

  1. Forgive yourself and your partner

Let go of the past hurts, look at your partner with a new eye and be ready to start afresh. The past is there to teach you lessons; learn from the lessons and move on. Do not forget to apply the lessons learnt in your present and future.

  1. Dedicate more time and effort to it

A strong relationship needs time and energy; give yourself and your friend time to get along. There is nothing wrong with going an extra mile to make your partner happy. Try your best to be for your partner what you would love your partner to be for you.

  1. Rebuild the trust

Trust is a wall that protects the city of your relationship. Without trust, the enemy can run in and out of your relationship creating something out of nothing just so that you can fight. Do not give him a chance; protect your relationship with trust. Forgive your partner, trust him/her and give them another chance. You also, be trust worthy. If  you had betray your partner once, you may have to give them a lot more time than usual as it is very difficult to rebuild a trust that has once been broken.

  1. Spice it up

It is very easy to slip into being boring especially when you have been with the same person over a period of time. You can add flavor to your relationship by surprising your partner with gifts, do things differently, write them sweet notes thanking them for being there; you can also send them things they never expected. This will spice up the relationship and make it feel as good as new.

  1. Travel to see your partner if you are in different places

If the distance between you and your partner is one you can overcome, travel. Distance has killed many great relationships; do not let yours be one of them. There is a difference between talking on the phone or skype and seeing one on one. Your closeness and physical touch can salvage your dying relationship within a split second.

  1. Be more secure

Insecurities have crumbled more relationships that it has built. Most times, insecurity is a result of the pains from previously failed relationships, low self-esteem and inferiority complex. They happen when the insecure party believes he/she does not have all it takes to keep his/her partner. Most of the time, insecure people have very loyal partners but they drive them away with their fears.

Tips for becoming a more secure partner

Dealing with human beings can be a bit difficult. I know some people should not always be trusted because change is the only constant thing that happens. Despite this mutable nature of man, some level of trust and confidence is expected to be present in a relationship if it is expected to work. You can work your way through insecurity by:

Stop comparing yourself

Comparing yourself to your partner’s previous partners or friend will make you feel like you are not good enough. Your partner knows what he/she saw in you that prompted him/her to build a relationship with you. If there are places you lag, give yourself time to improve; Rome was not built in a day.

Believe you are good enough

You have to believe in yourself. Believe you have all it takes to keep your partner interested. People do not always have to be perfect in order to build a great relationship, this is the reason compromise is a necessity. Just believe in yourself.

Confidence keeps people attracted to you; losing confidence in yourself is losing your charm. Confidence is like a cloth, wear it daily.

Talk when you need to

Talking has to be really constructive but if you have a pressing issue to talk about, please voice it. Do not keep issues in your mind for too long, they poison your mind and eat you up slowly. If things are not going the way you wanted them to, speak out. You have the right to be heard.

Do not be too clingy to little things

There are things you should not hold on to. In building a relationship, people are ad vised not to overemphasize on every little thing. When you try to read meanings to every little thing, you set traps for your partner; traps that end up fetching you lies.

Take out negativity

It is not possible to get good out of something you’ve never seen or thought good of. Your relationship is not an exception. If you see negative, negative will always happen. When your partner realizes you are always thinking negative, they may feel frustrated in trying to make the relationship work because they believe their actions will amount to nothing. If negativity is your way of life, let it go.

How to become a more positive person in your relationship

The most important way over overcoming negativity is by training your mind to ponder only on things you will be happy to see. In being a more positive person, you have to

Control your mood

Diving into unpleasant moods can only take you to one place; the land of negativity. Try to keep yourself happy. Do the things you love, eat, exercise and hang out with friends, they will help lift your mood and take your mind away from the negative.

Surround yourself with positive people

Walk away from people whose only hobby is complaining. These set of people will drag you into thinking the way they do. Always fix yourself in the midst of positive people who are grateful for the things they have no matter how small.

Understand that life is a process

Relationships undergo different stages. Every relationship has its own difficult time. When you are encounter a difficult moment, remember all the great moments you have had and also remember what kept you till that day.

Believe things can always get better

Many relationships have ended and many will still end but when you are faced with a challenge in your relationship, think of those relationship that made it out of their troubles. Relationships gets a step better after going through a challenge, think about this and give yourself hope.

For more life changing motivational articles, visit NaijaGists Motivation Column.

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