How To Find Quality Friends: Secrets To Choosing The Right Friends And Why It Matters
Where you will be in the next couple of years depend largely on the friends you keep and the books you read. Every one of us is a product of influence. More importantly, we are a product of the influence of our company. But specifically, our ally shapes our thinking, lifestyle, and decision. It is, therefore, crucial to know how and why it is important you should choose your friend rightly. It is not difficult to know where a person will end by identifying who he is hanging out with.
If for instance, if you want to change a certain aspect of your life you have struggled with just change your friend.
A simple test of how powerful the influences of friends are will show they do the same thing together. You will discover you talk about the same issues, hang out in the same place and take decisions on the common front. As usual, friends have the same affection toward things and people.
If you aim to succeed in life, choose the right kind of friend. It will amount to self-deceit to think you can have a bad friend and think you will end well. No matter your best intentions and self will, you will cave in under the pressure of friends. This is also applicable when you are facing a turbulent life. Your ability to weather the storm or not will depend on the company you keep.
As a caution, you don’t need to dispose of all your old friends. Remember no one is so bad that has no good thing about him and no one is so good that has no single negative aspect of his life. And sometimes a bad friend today can save the day for you some other time. Friendship does not mean there wouldn’t be conflict in your relationship. If you a true friend indeed you will know conflict is healthy and with that, you will get the best from the relation. Understanding the secrets to choosing the right friends and why it matters is because it determines your success or failure.
Who is a friend?
Friendship means different things to different people so also the age-long concept of who is a friend. A friend is more than an acquaintance. He or she is more than an associate. Also, friendship goes beyond sharing things. Defining who a friend is depends on the individual’s understanding and preference. This hinged on what you expect from the individual you call a friend. Notwithstanding as you will see later in this post, friendship gives and take. In essence, friendship is not a monologue, but a dialogue relationship.
A friend is, therefore, a person who sticks with you through thick and thin of life, pushing you towards your goal while celebrating your success and sharing your pains.
Why You Need A Friend
Suicide and stress have been linked to loneliness. Those who stay alone die alone. Due to various disappointments, some have concluded they can’t trust anyone any longer, hence they stay aloof. These sets of people have forgotten they are dealing with imperfect people. That would then mean they are not perfect hence, they can’t expect perfection from anyone. Conversely, this is one reason you needed a friend.
Love takes you from selfishness.
Friends take you from your comfort zone. It helps you relate with people of different temperament and disposition. Friendship helps us share with other people our lives and resources. One other blessing is to act as a check when you are going out of line. A true friend will call you to order and will not hesitate to rebuke you where necessary. Getting a friend help to develop your ability to have more friends.
It helps you identify yourself.
As a result of relating to various kinds of people, we learn leadership. Such a relationship helps us learn our abilities and weaknesses. Friendship helps you discover the need of others and enjoy the assistance of others.
They celebrate your success and cheer you up during crisis.
Success is best enjoyed with people. When the chips are down you equally need people who will stand by you. A true friend will stand by you through thick and thin. They will laugh with you and cry with you where necessary.
Having friends develop your mental capacity.
With your friends around you, you’ll have a better outlook on life. Your friends make you see beyond what you are currently passing through to a better future. It is found people learn easier when they learn or study together.
Secret To Choosing The Right Friends & Why It Matters
Let us consider some secrets to choosing the right friends and why it matters
You get your kind.
Likes beget likes. You can only attract the kind of people like you. Thus give what you like to receive. Therefore choose a friend that will give what you are willing to give.
Choose purposeful friends.
Since one of the purposes of keeping friendship is to achieve your goal, choose those who are going somewhere meaningful as well. You know these people by what they talked about, where they go, how they make decisions about their lives. Such people never live anything for chances. They are goal-getter. They walk their talk.
Choose friends base on your value system.
Every core decision in life is base on one’s value system. It is therefore imperative to keep relationships with friends with a similar value system. Such synergies will propel your dream higher and faster. You will also be a motivation for each other as well as accountable. The success of one will be an impetus to the rest team. Aside from that, you get better, meaningful and positive advice and encouragement from a person with a similar vision.
Choose friends with a better result.
Choosing the right friends who have been there before is a decision that will guarantee your success in life. If your friends are already where you are going, then the journey of life becomes faster and easier. The beauty of belonging to the high flyer is you will not need to pass through the same error they went through.
Such relation makes the journey of success faster. With successful people, it will not be easy to be discouraged because you are surrounded by encouragers who had to wear out discouragement on the way to achieving such feat.
Choose a friend that will cover your back.
No one is an island of knowledge. Therefore getting to your place of destiny requires friends that can cover your weakness and deficiency. A true friend will not denounce you when the chips are down but act as succor to you. Therefore, pick a friend who will defend and compliment your weak area and help you overcome your challenges.
Choose a friend who will hold you accountable.
Getting the best out of life requires responsibility and accountability. You cannot make a meaningful impact on life if you jettisoned accountability. And man naturally will not follow the order and often dodge responsibility. Therefore, one of the criteria for choosing friends that will challenge, rebuke, and correct you, sometimes sharply is necessary. This is why those you choose are people who respect your view but push you to do the needful to achieve your goal.
Choose a friend who will be part of your success story.
One dysfunction trait inherent in man is jealousy and envy. So when picking your friends, they must be people who will celebrate your success. At every stage of your breakthrough, you see them excited and give you reasons why you can do better next time.
Pick a friend who will give the push.
It is highly essential to choose a friend that will give you the needed push in life. Success requires a great deal of work. Thus you need those who will give you the needed push toward your goal.
If there is one attribute you should not miss in selecting your friends, it should not be this one. Every successful person will tell you there are several times on the journey to success that they felt like quitting.
The challenges were enormous that they needed extra strength outside of them to keep moving. This is where your friends come in. They celebrate your success, admit your weakness, correct you where necessary, and encourage you to move forward. This was why I mentioned earlier you needed those who had gone ahead of you in the journey of success.
As I conclude, remember friendship gives and take. That will mean you gain as much as you give. Therefore, balancing the equation will require you have three calibers of people among your friends.
Find those ahead of you who will act as your mentor.
These are people who have recorded success in whichever area you are aiming at. They will guide you on the way to make it quicker than them. You can always count on their support and goodwill. Having a mentor simplifies your journey. It is like standing on the shoulder of the giants. They help you avoid the basic mistake that could slow down your journey to success
Second, you need followers otherwise called the mentee. You are higher than these people and they count on your mentorship. They are important because the more you give or train others the better you become. Since no one is an island of knowledge, you could also learn one thing or the other from them.
Mentoring other proof you have something to offer. It means you are important that somebody trusts you enough to make you their mentor.
Third, you need a running mate. These are people at your level. You can relate easily because you can understand each other concerns and reservations.
Finally, choosing the right friends help you get the best out of life and make you become a better friend yourself.