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11 Subtle Signs Of Deception In Relationships

signs deceitful partner

Exclusive report By Rois Ola

How To Tell If Your Partner Is Deceitful

Body language

Closed-off and defensive body language is a sign that someone is being deceptive. Crossed arms are more suspicious than arms that hang casually at the side or are used appropriately within the context of the story. If someone is not facing you squarely, he may be hiding something. Facing you square on is more indicative of honesty. Similarly, someone who faces you straight on when seated is more likely being honest than someone who is turned to the side or sitting on one hip or the other.


A good test of deception is to determine if the person has a motive to lie. Other than compulsive liars, people generally won’t lie when they have no reason to. Do they have something to gain by lying? They could be saving your feelings or keeping your affections. If they lack a reasonable motive for lying, they probably aren’t. If they have motive, the odds are much greater that they are lying.

Attention to detail

Liars tend to give you too much detail in an effort to make their story seem more legitimate. If you find yourself feeling that what a person is saying is extra and unnecessary, he may be trying to put you at ease with extra information.

Dependence and control

Rare is the relationship that can function in a healthy fashion where co-dependency exists. Equally rare is the relationship that can function in a healthy fashion when one person is dominating the other. If you find these dynamics are at play, take a step back and look at them.


If you find that you are feeling depressed within the context of your relationship, it is a definite sign that there is trouble in paradise. While we all have times when we feel sad, anxious or otherwise upset, this should not be a regular occurrence.

Finding any of these warning signs in your relationship indicates a need to look deeper. They may be present because of factors within the relationship. Or they may be present because of long entrenched patterns of behaviour that we carry forward with us from past relationships. In either case, it is important to locate the root cause. When you know what is causing the symptom, it becomes easier to treat the problem.

The most frequent problem in relationships is arguably a lack of communication. We can get comfortable with another person and begin to assume that they will just know what we need from them. This is not the case, even if you are psychic. Open communication does wonders for preventing greater problems within the relationship because it allows for all people involved to understand what their positions are on various matters and to act with as much knowledge of the situation as they possibly can.

The second most frequent problem seen in relationships occurs when a person collapses into the relationship and assumes a position of weakness. Men do this just as much as women do, so don’t let the stereotype fool you. Collapsing yourself into the relationship will ultimately create resentment and hurt feelings for both partners, especially if it is combined with a lack of communication. Remember, you are emotionally involved with this person because you want to be, not because you need to be. And remember that you are a separate person who is unique and valuable in your own right.


A bit of privacy in a relationship is important. It is healthy to maintain your own separate identity within the relationship, but when you or your significant other begins to hide details and important information from each other, this is a sign that there is a lack of trust.

Obviously, keeping quiet about a surprise for your sweetheart is entirely different from something like lying about losing your job or how you feel about your partner’s family.
Logical process

A good way to catch a liar is to test her logical process. If she can’t keep her story straight and logical, she likely will slip back into vague statements and claims such as “I cannot remember exactly.” Ask for details about the story and then ask the person to repeat it so you can listen for inconsistencies.

Dependence and control

Rare is the relationship that can function in a healthy fashion where co-dependency exists. Equally rare is the relationship that can function in a healthy fashion when one person is dominating the other. If you find these dynamics are at play, take a step back and look at them.


We all experience fear at various times in our lives. When it is persistent, it is important to examine the source and resolve it. Fear should not be a regular part of our relationships. If it is, it could be a sign of a larger problem.


Vocal inflection tends to change when someone is lying. Listen for inconsistencies compared with her normal speech. If her voice goes up in pitch at the end of sentences and that is abnormal, she may be deceiving you.

Language choice

People who are deceptive make a few constant language choices that may help you spot them. Liars tend not to use contractions such as “don’t,” “can’t” or “it’s.” They tend to use more negative words, stemming from the subconscious guilt they feel. They also use fewer first person pronouns in an effort to distance themselves from the story they are telling.


Some people think liars try to avoid eye contact, but this isn’t necessarily true. Deliberate liars know to keep their gaze fixed to help support their point. Casual liars find it more difficult to look into a scrutinizing face. Sometimes a liar’s pupils widen, depending on how stressful the situation is. Others may appear as though they are reading from a script in their head, by moving their eyes back and forth or rolling them.

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  1. j onuh

    March 3, 2020 at 3:39 AM

    Most men are liars by nature. Even worse in Africa and Italy

    • Metu Nyetu

      March 3, 2020 at 5:33 AM

      YOU NOW WANT to make it a men-vs-women thing? Then be objective! If not that God is omniscient, women would have been deceiving Him every minute.

  2. Lamuna I.

    March 3, 2020 at 7:04 AM

    It is a common trend among all men not only africans

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