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I’m Pregnant With His Baby But I Don’t Love Him – Confused Woman Laments

having a baby with someone you don't like

Oct 17, 2016 – I’m Having A Baby For A Man I Don’t Love – Confused Woman Laments

I am a 33 year old woman; I met a guy about two years ago, due to need for marriage and companionship and started dating him. He is nice to me but I’m not in love with him.

My friends advised me to stay with him because he is nice and love will grow, so I stayed with him, with the hope that I’ll meet someone in future that I will truly love but it has backfired because now I am four months pregnant for him. Ever since I learned of the pregnancy, I have been very sad and depressed.

I care about him but I just can’t make myself love him no matter how hard I try. When he travels, I don’t miss him, when I dream of my wedding, I don’t picture him. I am very confused and sad; should I marry him for the baby and be unhappy or should I leave and hope I will find someone who I will love and who will love me even though I have a child?

Ann writes from Ikoyi Lagos

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  1. Amanda

    October 17, 2016 at 4:01 AM


    I am going to be blunt with you ma’am. When you opened your legs for him and taking his deck, you weren’t thinking?. Well, what gives you assurance that you gonna love the next dude?

    Even if you get a new guy, the guy may not take you serious being that you already have a baby with someone else. He may think you both meet behind his back (which may be true). You may eventually love your baby father after getting someone else who may, perhaps, be a jackass.

    Good luck ma’am. You are one of those clowns who think from their bottom.

    I am sorry if my comment offends you one way or the other. You better hold on to him (before you turn him off) since he seems to be “nice” according to you.

  2. fifelomo

    October 17, 2016 at 5:12 AM

    Omo girl, opportunity knocks but once! You see bobo wea love you, you say you no love am, hmmmm am sorry for you. You claim you don’t love him yet you have unprotected sex with him. Omo girl, you are still keeping somethings you have refused to say. For all the years he’s bn showing you love and care, and he’s bn spending for you, you still don’t love him????? now I now believe in the proverb that says” inu eniyan, o jin ju konga lo” (the heart of man us desperately wicked) mchew. Give it a second thought and make hale while the sun shines.

  3. Bok

    October 17, 2016 at 7:08 AM

    indeed you are confused, you don’t know what you want for yourself.

  4. Metu Nyetu

    October 17, 2016 at 7:43 AM

    IF MY GOAL IS to flay you, woman, I would write a whole book on your mistakes. They say, “Don’t judge!”, as if pointing out were you went wrong here is a one-way thicket to your damnation.

    AS SUCH, I SHALL try not to dwell on the past, but the way forward. And that way is quite simple. First, let him know of the baby on the way. Do not abort it! Have the baby for him; leave it with him if he wants, or take it with you and move out from his house. When you both are away from each other, you would perhaps start having a glow in your heart for him. But in case it never happens, do not just move in again with any other guy who comes your way in the future, neither would it be wise to have (unprotected) sex with him outside marriage.

    ONE OTHER THING: ASK yourself what made you not to love this guy who is so caring. Is it in his looks, his body, or a quirky foible he manifests sometimes? Or is it because of the kind of job he does? Is your heart truly searching for love, or riches? In things concerning love, the heart often leads. But never fail to draw your head along for the heart could lie to you at times.

  5. Fear God

    October 17, 2016 at 8:10 AM

    Dear Fine Baby ,

    My story is going to be a long one. I call you fine baby because your photo on this write up is beautiful .

    How old are you ? It seems you are still young and have lots of time on your side to play around .Husband is scarce.You are talking as if you have plan B.Your plan B may be you have other men running after you . Try them out you will learn the old saying that ” A bird in hand wort ten in the bush ”. Do you know Women have expiring date.By the time you clock 40 with no husband you will look back and say had I know .There is a parable that says ”Prostitute will slap her ass at old age and blame her ass for her miserable life at old age .
    I do not know what is wrong with Africa women . How can you be with a man you do not love ,he take care of you pay all your bills with the believe that you love him as much as he love you .At the back of your mind you know you do not love him . Why not work away from the relationship after three months .You stayed in there for two years ,got all the goodies and got pregnant.Now you are contemplating quieting the relationship .I will not judge you because you may not even know why you are feeling the way you are felling . I can only offer my opinion and suggestions.

    There are possibilities which is not your fault .One is probably you are spiritually possessed ,have a spiritual husband , and need deliverance .Please go to a true prophet like TB JOSHUA or any other one you know is a true prophet for deliverance.Seek the will of God to know if this relationship or marriage is from God or not .Secondly its possible you may be psychologically sick and need help.Try a prophet first if you are spiritually ok go to a psychologist for help. Third possibility is that unknown to you , you are possibly a prostitute.For me Not only women who demand money from men for sex are prostitute . Any woman who is in a relationship with a man for financial or what ever benefit ”Popularly known as Friend with benefit ” knowing fully well that she does not love the man is also a prostitute in a different format.
    Like you said people advice you to stay that love will develop or grow .Good advice .Did they give you a time frame for the love to grow .Did they tell you love will come after two years .No time limit.

    My sister my advice to you is stay in there .love will come . My grand mother and my grand father did not know what is called love .By today definition of love I think they fell in love after 50 years of marriage.

    I do not know you or this man but I am talking as a brother I hope if you make the wrong decision to leave this man who love you ,You may end up searching for love where it does not exist for the rest of your life .like a Dog who pursue its tail .A word is enough for the wise

  6. Francis

    October 17, 2016 at 8:35 AM

    My dear the earlier you get to love him the better for you

  7. sola olaniyi

    October 17, 2016 at 8:38 AM

    you don’t love him yet you allow him have s** with you…what is wrong with the girls of this generation

  8. Francis

    October 17, 2016 at 8:38 AM

    My dear earlier you get to love him the better for you

  9. Francis

    October 17, 2016 at 8:39 AM

    My dear the earlier you get to love him the better for you

  10. Badmus

    October 17, 2016 at 8:58 AM

    I will support the two other comments reason being that (if u don’t love & care for some-one why are u wit the person ) Nigerian girls are so wasteful, they don’t care once their is money and others amenities is there for their comfort they can to any lengths with a man and that is why some of them been killed at the end of the day.
    Is up to you lady, choose your choice.

  11. Thricy

    October 17, 2016 at 9:14 AM

    Hmmm love does not just happen overnight. You have to be patient with him cuz am sure he loves you as you didnt write anything to state otherwise. Give him the chance, get closer to him and you will find yourself getting attracted to him. It would be very nice to have your child brought up in the presence of both his biological parents. You are not getting younger and soo should start thinking fast and for the good of your your unborn child. The stress you going through is not worth it at all and very bad for the condition you are in right now. Goodluck

  12. nosa omonuwa

    October 17, 2016 at 11:36 AM

    girl u better stay with dat guy since he love u.and pls forget about what his phsical state may b,is better he love u than u love another but he does not love u back that is d worst a lady like u that missed dis kind opportunity.

  13. kay

    October 17, 2016 at 11:53 AM

    shit happens..he got down with you could be your mistake. never marry cos baby got involved. have two kids in a loveless relatioship. my thought was that eventually love will grow and everything will be ok. i tell you thats the worst mistake made cos no love, no feelings and both of us are unhappy and we are stuck…this is true life story…shine your eyes

  14. ade

    October 17, 2016 at 12:22 PM

    when you know you dont love him why are you collecting money from him and other nice things he did for you. you could have called off the relationship since now. Kai women self.

  15. joyful

    October 17, 2016 at 1:15 PM

    Remember, omotola jalapeños once said she was not in love with her husband when she married him but now she is madly in love with him. You will love him when you have his baby. Loving your baby means loving the father of your baby

  16. D Hunter

    October 17, 2016 at 2:23 PM

    Sometime, I can‘t help but notice with great disappointment how some people will just show up from their hiding caves and post useless comments to an important matter.


  17. spayor

    October 17, 2016 at 3:13 PM

    Hmmm….this is obfuscating…but I’ll give you my candid advise…do not search for love anymore cos you. Already loved him…if you don’t,you wouldn’t av let him in at all…yet you’re pregnant for him…madam..somtin must av made you to be wit him all this while..why not develop it??…Like a wise man once is like a little flower but wen nurtured turns into a garden…the little you av for him give it a chance to grow…and you’ll love him more…except u av other alternatives…

  18. D Hunter

    October 17, 2016 at 3:43 PM

    Dont marry bcos you mistakenly got pregnant for him its never a yard stick.
    Dont marry out of pressure.
    Dont marry bcos you‘re feeling lonely or bcos he‘s just being nice to you now.
    This is bcos a lot could change for the worse after marriage thats not founded on
    Love. Being nice could just be another decietful bait to getting you to accept him.

    BUT GET MARRIED bcos you want to fulfil destiny.
    Get married bcos you want to be a helpmate to an imperfect person who loves you and accepts you for who you are not who you pretend to be.

    I PRAY THAT GOD will help you in choosing the right person meant for you and may the wrong person be disconnected away from your life IJN.

    I take a stroll…

  19. Pat

    October 17, 2016 at 3:45 PM

    1. Stay in the relationship
    2.Get an abortion and move on
    3. Give birth to the baby,give it up for adoption and move on.

    Think carefully. The grass always look greener on the other side.
    The devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know.
    Your decision.

  20. Tendy

    October 17, 2016 at 6:08 PM

    Follow your heart

  21. Jilo

    October 17, 2016 at 7:02 PM

    Walking out of the relationship is not an option now since there is something that bind them together now which is their innocent baby. I’m not the type that believes in stay the course the love will grow later. The affected lady has two options and she is free to decide which one she wants to take. Either accept that man now and continue living a pretentious life or give birth to the baby and keep looking for Mr. Loverman.

    Conclusion, since there is no 50/50 in love, you may be fortunate to meet a man who may love you even with your baby if he/she is in your custody. That is what I regard as a luck but it is very rare however, anything is possible. Out of 100 men only 8 out of them can accept you with that condition. Again, if you meet an ass hole man whom you think you love but end up to be fake and he never love you, beating you up at any slight provocation, then that is when regret will set in your life and you come up with that second thought that had I know I should have stayed with the first man who loved me.

    Don’t forget it is better for a man to love you in a relationship than the other way round. Marrying your dream man sometimes doesn’t mean happiness in a relationship because you may tend to put more than you anticipated in that relationship. That is a fact, but you have your choice to make as an adult. Goodluck.

  22. DHAKA

    October 18, 2016 at 5:38 AM

    @jilo. I love your comment and for the fact that you stayed with him for 2 years which means, your both families might have known you both to be a husband/wife to be.

    Secondly you got pregnant for him, do you know what you are into? Any further step you take now may mar ur life or make your life. Think over it.

    Thirdly, no love from ur side to the caring man, This is the right way God always punish a lady like u. Enjoying and feeling good from a man u never loved from the depth of your mind. Common, you are so wicked.

    Even if you abort that baby, There is a way God will wait for you at d end of d road and punish u to the core that in ur next life, u will neva forget that.

    If you decide to stay in that relation and have a baby for dat man, Love may come at last from the very first day that baby came into that family.

    My advice to you is to adapt and manage the little love you have for the man.

    Love is like a baby, when you noture it, it becomes a giant.

    Think twice before becoming a single mother and a bicycle to Lagos riders.

  23. Ms ERANKO

    October 18, 2016 at 4:50 PM

    haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ah ah unm , iiiiiiiiii fuck him , nobody forced me to open my leg to do 48 point 89 position , then i discovered that i am now pregnant .

    so should i give birth to this baby? or go for abortion .

    I would like you to understand that love has nothing to do with who you have your baby with, or who you marry . this man is your sperm donor, so you just have to let this baby come to life.

  24. Tboy

    October 20, 2016 at 1:53 PM

    You are nothing but animal. Why are you pretending to love him when you knew you never do. People like you will always fall victims of terrible guys out there because it is obvious you don’t deserve good guy.

  25. Fff

    January 28, 2019 at 7:33 PM

    Same situation, so I understand your pain, but we’ll as usual we are judged by fellow women. Well just going to have my child and wait for how life after birth will be like. U know baby is innocent and might be the only life u might be able to give.
    Enjoy the gift of motherhood and it’s not like u are married………….

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