I’m Under Pressure To Marry A 2nd Wife Because My Wife Can’t Conceive, I’m So Confused

nigerian man marry second wife

June 27, 2016 – I’m Under Pressure To Marry A 2nd Wife Because My Wife Can’t Conceive, I’m So Confused

Myself and my wife are unable to have children and it’s affecting our relationship.

Realizing you’re not able to have children can feel like a cruel, unexpected blow.

Facing this problem can be devastating and is often extremely isolating. Events like christenings and weddings can feel like cruel reminders of your situation. You may find yourself becoming jealous towards friends and family members who are able to have children.

And the notion of disappointing parents and parents-in-law who were looking forward to becoming grandparents can leave you feeling stigmatised, as if you’ve failed as a couple.

For me as the man of the house, it’s a worse feeling because, I’m under pressure to take another wife as my mother says she wants to see her grandchildren from me before she dies.

I love my wife but this situation is putting strains in our marriage relationship and I honestly don’t know the best way to handle it.

I’m so confused!

Emeka writes from Maitama.

24 thoughts on “I’m Under Pressure To Marry A 2nd Wife Because My Wife Can’t Conceive, I’m So Confused

    • @ Boken,have u been in such situation in your life? Pls,pray to GOD that u don’t fall in such situation. I was married for 10yrs without a child with anaija lady in d UK.It always ,1 miscarriage or d other in those10yrs. I met one polish oyinbo and within two months she got pregnant.I’m expecting a daughter this July. Because I got d oyinbo pregnant,my naija wife threw me out of d house.I know all d insult I took from people and how I was ridicule by friends just to tell e I don’t have a child. I give GOD d glory!!!

  1. I hear say surulere Ashana runs girl of life yewande adeleye that sells drinks to cover up don get belle. I hear say she don hook one small boy wey no know anyth. I feel for the guy o. I no go surprise if she don sleep wit dog sef. She don f**k all the fuckabel.i doubt if she go fit retaya. Na one of the girls wey joke sogunro (soggys) de pimp that time wey dem even de lesbian themselves. I hope say no be jazz she take hol this boy

  2. So it’s her fault now and u want to marry another woman,men men men! What u guys subject women to when it’s ur fault in child bearing is quite unbearable. She will visit every church praying that ur dead sperm works.she’s not permitted to get pregnant outside.she will wait patiently. U guys will even suggest painful IVF process to her. Yeye men!

  3. Seek unto God, he’s the changeable changer. May the Lord open the womb of your wife. She will conceive soon, if you believe.

  4. Mr Emeka, you are only confused because you care more about what people are saying more than what you and your wife feel for each other.

    It think what you need now is to talk with your wife. You both know where the problem lies.
    If its neither you nor your wife, then just know that its just a time of waiting for both of you. Trusting God to make His promises come to pass in your life, for He is the giver of children.

    I wont advise you marry a second wife. Thats my opinion.

    To all trusting God for the wonderful blessing of children, i pray this morning that God will answer your prayers.
    As i write this am also trusting God on behalf of the couples i know of that are also waiting.
    God will do it in Jesus name.

  5. What if the new wife fails to conceive? Will you then request for direct telephone line to Papa God to report your situation? Don’t subject your loving wife to any more stress than your situation has dealt her. Only GOD ALMIGHTY can solve that problem so trust in His
    Mercy and Grace and He will give you that joy. Trust God for He never fails. All the best!

  6. Do not lose hope nor get frustrated, do the needful by consulting the medicals supported with fervent prayer, God who answered Abraham and Sarah at their old age will meet your situation even before you get old.

  7. Please what about you? have you get yourself checked. Mostly we attributed childlessness to be women’s fault. I for instant i have been married for 6yrs and the problem is with my husband. Though my husband family is not given me pressure other than that i would tell them the problem is from their son. We believe in God and knows that in his time he will make things beautiful. Brother endure the pressure and believe in God he shall surely see you through.

  8. see ur mouth “my mother is pressuring me to get a 2nd wife”,and how r u sure dat the fault is not from you?, what if the fault is from you would ur mother pressure ur wife to get a 2nd husband? and what if u marry another wife now and she refuses to b pregnant too what would u do? marry another?…see mr man na God dey give pikin,and remember ur marital vow for better for worse,what u r expriencing now is the worst part of ur marriage,so u gat to be patient and hope in God bcus there is nothing dat is hard for him to do.

  9. emeka, there are many ways to this. the surest is to trust your God. however i advice you to submit your selves to good medical. She will concieve with the available VITRO and INTRO techniques . I understand your fear. should you marry and stil no isue, you have only succeded in exposing your weakness.


  11. My dear friend. My womb was destroyed when a quack doctor did abortion for me and my elder sister have fibroid and blocked tubes which make both of us to be childless for so long. We refused to get married to our boyfriend cus of the problems we were in. But last 3 years we went to apostle suleima church (omega fire)programme. The next month both of us got pregnant. We are now mothers.

  12. Mr Emeka dare is hope 4 ur situation. I was in ur shoe 4 7ys but 2day am a mother of 2 lovin children. Inbox me 2 discuss.

  13. You are not your own God. Don’t marry another woman, she may still not have any child for you. Just trust in God and He will show himself soon.

  14. I acknoledge that it is very difficult to live with childlessness. But it is possible. Countless couples have remained glued despite that unfavourable fate. I wish no man to experience this. But when it happens, what do we do? Taking up another wife, is that the best? What if she fails in turn to conceive? What if she gives birth to a drooling moron that cannot even feed himself?

    We may never be able to answer these questions until we try it out. But one thing that we know certainly is that the man would be hurting his wife if he takes up a second wife. It is a pain that can never be measured, and a man who respects his fellow human’s feeling would not readily take up a second wife in a case like this. My uncle and his wife have been married for 16 good years without an issue. They are still believing God.

    Mr Emeka, I just advice you not to listen to anymore outside talks. Your are the only protection your wife has, and so if you turn your back against her now, what do you suppose she would do? Remember that your vow is For better for worse. Except you never gave that vow in the first place.

    God is your strength.

  15. Come to the Holy Ghost ministries and my father will pray for you and you shall be bless,no 437 Bolade oshodi.or you call this no 08036388240

  16. Thats all on possibilities of , you might be the one who has problem(not having babies)or that it`s not yet time (remember Abraham and Sara in the bible who also rushed to impregnate a slave who gave birth to ishmael and got confused by consequences when God gave him Isaac to his wife and a wife wanted him to do away with a slave)

    Many men do meet this situations even here in South Africa.just put your trust in God,he will guide you, dont rush

  17. Also love your wife as she is,,,,maybe, discuss with her about adoption (even from either your or her family)

  18. If your wife cant give birth is it her fault? was her first option to get another husband? why is your first option to get another wife? Do whatever you will but remember you said in sickness and in health.

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