How To Let Go Of Anger, Hurt And Resentment…Guide To Living A Happy Life
Disappointing, painful and sometimes tragic circumstances can stir up a host of emotions within us, most of which are negative. From such circumstances come emotions like hurt, anger and resentment. Our actions and words as humans cannot always be perfect. For this reason, we tend to disappoint ourselves and the people around us or get disappointed and hurt by other people.
Anger, hurt and resentment are the usual emotions felt during disappointing and painful situations. Everyone has felt them before and will most likely feel them time and again, as we make our journey through life. However, a good number of people find it difficult to move past these feelings after a while and therein lays the problem. Probably due to the level of pain which we caused or someone else caused us, we may be tempted to hang on to these negative emotions and strongly refuse to let them go. But this has to be done. Negative emotions have been proven many times over, to be poisonous to the body system. For this reason, letting go of this unhealthy feelings quickly is a necessity.
How To Let Go Of Anger
Anger is the emotion used when expressing displeasure towards people, things or situations. The degree and manner in which people display this emotion differs because, some have more control over it than others. It often times leads people to voice hateful words and do things they normally wouldn’t have considered. Many times, anger may linger for a long time and is capable of gradually resulting into dangerous consequences. Learning to properly handle these situations and let go of anger is something that can be done.
Anger can easily become uncontrollable when left untamed. Learn to tame your anger at all times. The more you learn, the lesser you get angry and the easier it becomes to let go of your anger and over look annoying situations. You can get your thoughts and opinion across without getting angry over insignificant things.
Cool Off, Then Speak Up
When you get angry, it is important not to voice the first thing that comes to mind. Try as much as possible not to speak in that moment. Often times when you do, you say hurtful and irreversible words, which could have grave consequences. When you have been angered and have a person in mind whom this anger is directed, then take a while to cool off. After this, you may approach this individual again and make your feelings known. Communicate to them on how their actions made you feel, with as little hostility as possible.
Find An Outlet
Find a way to let out your anger, by getting an outlet other than the source of your anger. If you are overwhelmed by anger, try channeling it into other activities, to help let out the steam.
How To Let Go Of The Past
A lot of people are known to hold on to past pains and hurts. They spend the present repeatedly dwelling on the past; blaming themselves or someone else for one hurt or the other. This can hold you back and stop you from truly living.
Let Go Of The Blame
Accompanying the pains of the past, you probably blame yourself or someone else. Playing the aggrieved party or blaming yourself, has the power to change absolutely nothing. The more you blame, the more difficult it becomes to let go. No matter how many times you blame and replay the past, it still doesn’t fix it. So consciously choose to stop dedicating your thoughts and emotions to the past.
Live In The Present
Living in the present reduces the time you spend living in the past. Consciously pull yourself back from these past issues, when you find yourself going back. Shed the weight of the negativity of the past and welcome the joy of the present.
Learn The Act Of Forgiveness
Not matter how bad the offense or the mistakes of the past may be, forgive. Forgiveness means you can move on. It restores your peace of mind. If you are to blame, then accept the blame and forgive yourself anyway. If someone else is to blame, then make an attempt to see the situations through their eyes and forgive them too. You have to go on living so by all means, forgive.
How To Let Go Of Someone You Love
Letting go of someone you love is not an easy task. Before coming to this decision and taking this step, be absolutely sure it’s the right thing to do. This helps you avoid future regrets. If you find it is necessary to take this step after much thought, then by all means do so. A cheating or an abusive partner or a partner who does not love you back could prompt such a decision. Whatever the circumstance, this step will require a lot of emotional work.
Don’t completely lock up your emotions, embrace the hurt you feel, mourn this loss in your own way. Avoid entertaining hateful and resentful thoughts towards that person. It is easy to switch out love for hate, as it is commonly said only a thin line lies between them both. Maintain completely positive emotions and wishes towards them, it helps hasten your healing process.
Remove Yourself From Their Life And Vice Versa
Withdraw yourself emotionally and avoid personal contact. Whatever relationship you want to maintain with them, has to be on just a surface level. Relate with such a person only when it is absolutely necessary. The longer you maintain distance, the stronger and better you get at doing it.
Find a productive way of distracting yourself from thinking about the said person. Get busy doing something fun or challenging to keep you from constantly reflecting on your decisions or changing them.
How To Let Go Of Resentment
Resentment is a build-up of hatred usually directed towards another person; you hold a person responsible for offending or mistreating you and strongly hate them for it. It doesn’t matter if these said grievances are valid or not, you have to let them go because resentment affects you the most.
Make a decision to let resentment go. It built up because you permitted it to, but now it is time to usher it out. If it’s possible, approach the person to which your resentment is targeted at and tell them about it. If not, then vent to someone else, let your feelings out and get them out of the way.
You can never really tell what your offender was going through or thinking when they hurt you. Make a little allowance for them and make an effort to forgive. Take little steps towards it. Rather than fantasizing about terrible things happening to them, send positive wishes and thoughts their way instead.
How To Let Go Of Control
Always having the urge to be in control of circumstances and outcomes can become quite an exhausting obsession. Sometimes yielding to the tide and seeing where it takes us, may be for the best.
The need to control can be traced to one form of fear or the other. Bring this root cause of control out into the open and face them. When you do, you tend to realize most of these fears are illusions.
Evaluate and realize how much time and effort it takes to constantly stay in control at all times. Consciously choose to be free of this oppression by letting go and allowing things to just naturally flow. Many natural patterns and occurrences are beyond our control anyway.
Change doesn’t happen in an instant; try letting go of control gradually from the various facets of your life. But keep making efforts to change for the better and stop trying to get others to change so you can control them.
How To Let Go Of Your Ex
Completely removing an ex from your life can be a challenge especially when you are hurting or still have feelings for them. But if he/she has become and ex, then your self-respect demands that you acknowledge that and move on.
Give yourself sometime off, to deal with this loss and the emotions that accompany it. If you don’t properly grieve and make yourself see that it is truly over, you may secretly be hanging on, waiting for a reunion. When you feel hurt by your ex or feel bad for how it all turned out, put in efforts to turn your mind away from the pain and regret. Accept that, it’s a done deal and it’s all in the past, while positioning your mind to move forward.
Remove All Evidence Of Their Presence
While attempting to let go, say goodbye to things that remind you of your ex. Return or get rid of their personal stuff, delete their number not out of malice, but so you won’t be tempted to reach out. Muting or removing them all together from your social media platforms also reduces your stalking tendencies. Stalking them on social media to see if they are happy without you or to see who they left you for, makes absolutely no sense. It only slows down your healing process.
Evaluate this relationship and see what could have been done better. While doing so, avoid casting blame and being resentful. Set better future relationship goals for yourself, using this past relationship as a guide; it is how we grow. Map out the things you want and how to avoid similar relationship mistakes.
How To Let Go Of Guilt
Feeling guilty over something you have done is indeed a horrible experience. You tend to judge and punish yourself quite harshly especially if your offense has led to an irreparable damage.
Take It Easy On Yourself
Guilt is capable of making you feel like a horrible person, but be rational enough not to base the judgment of yourself on that single experience. Making bad mistakes doesn’t make you an evil person, get yourself to understand this. Don’t judge yourself too harshly, have a little compassion.
Try Working Things Out
If the situation can be salvaged or a little something can be done to repair your damage or improve it a bit, then do it. Apologize and ask for forgiveness if you can. This will help lessen guilt and help you let it go.
Accept whatever mistake or bad decision you have made and rather than forever subject yourself to unfair punishments, forgive yourself instead. It can be difficult, but to truly let guilt go and stop it from ruining your life, you have to do it.
How To Let Go Of A Friend
Saying goodbye to someone, whom you consider to be a friend due to one reason or the other, is indeed painful. But bear in mind that, if that friendship was really true and good for you, there probably would be no need for goodbyes. These are two possible scenarios which could warrant you letting go. If you find yourself in the midst of unhealthy friendships, then this is a valid reason to leave, having a disagreement with a friend which gives no room for reconciliation is another.
Make an effort to put a seal of closure on this friendship. Say farewell to shared mementos, to finally get that it’s really over. You could also try sending them a text, mail or letter detailing your thoughts and emotions about everything with regards to your friendship. Desist from using offensive or demeaning words. Let out these feelings and don’t hang around waiting for a reply to avoid feeling bad, in case they don’t honor you with one.
Free yourself of any form of bitterness you may carry towards yourself or friend. Keep the door open to new friendships. Just because you let go of a friend, doesn’t mean you should give up on deep and meaningful friendships altogether. Properly end this friendship emotionally, then step out and embrace new ones.
In all these when dealing with hurt, anger and resentment forgiveness of self and others is probably the most important factor. No one says you should act like it didn’t happen, but accept that it did and move forward. Life is too precious to spend it dwelling on negativity.
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