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My Funny Encounter At Pastor Chris Okotie’s Church In Ikeja Lagos **Must Read**

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My Funny Encounter At Pastor Chris Okotie’s Church In Ikeja Lagos **Must Read**

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January 2nd, 2014 – Man Shares Funny Encounter At Pastor Chris Okotie’s Household Of God Church In Ikeja Lagos **Must Read**

Here is an hilarious story written by Mr Chris Kehinde Nwandu of CKN Nigeria when he paid a visit to Pastor Chris Okotie’s Household of God church in Ikeja Lagos this past Sunday.

Kenny gave a funny narrative story of his encounter at Pastor Chris Okotie’s church in the article below:

When i decided to worship at Chris Okotie’s Household of God on (Sunday 29th December 2013),i knew i was going to have a lifetime experience. I have heard so much about my namesake and his exploit that i was so eager to visit his sanctuary today. For those of you who do not know, Household of God is situated along Oregun road Ikeja Lagos.

Chris Okotie owns all the land and buildings on that street. His Church shares the same fence with Chris Oyakhilome’s Christ Embassy Headquarters.

Arriving Church was easy.. I made my way into the Church after the normal searching at the gate. The first thing that will hit you, were the bouncers, whose chest were as huge as bags of cement, even the devil in his wisdom dare not make a move near that Church at this time.

The inside speaks of the taste of the man, sparkling, well decorated to taste.

Parked outside was not his new Rolls Royce but another Mercedes Benz Limousine with customized plate number.

As it is customary, my seat must be beside a fine babe. Kai, they were not in short supply at Household. Infact this Church has the highest concentration of fine babes that i have ever seen in any Church.

chris Okotie must have selected them himself. The organizers of Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria will envy what i saw today.Chris Okotie’s Church on the day of visit

Chris Kehinde NwanduChris Kehinde Nwandu

chris Okotie can successfully organize ten good pageants with what he has in that Church.He even said ,they accuse him of marrying fair babes.

See shape,tall,short,dark,fair,half caste see catwalk, see stepping, see mini skirts, see fine steps, see clean smooth skins. See nails,i say come see cloth. Brazillian hair,no be that type wey all those Lagos babes dey do under Ikeja bridge.

It was like a competition.

Abeg if you no get designer clothes ,shoes, bags etc no come Household, because, dem go think say you be steward or waitress.

After taking my seat, beside my lovely damsel,i quickly adjusted my lens and snap some pictures while people were settling down.

Within minutes,a very huge guy that will make Hulk Horgan look like a baby wrestler walked up to me asking me to follow him.

My heart sank,wetin i do now..who i offend,who send me make i come chris Okotie’s Church..Na today i go see wetin my eyes dey look for.

I asked my latest catch to kindly look after my seat while i followed the guy outside

On getting there,i was shocked by what the Chief bouncer said..”CKN ,we know you. We ve monitored you since you entered this Church. We don’t allow any camera work or taking of pictures in this Church or premises.. Please let me see the pictures you just snapped ,because our CCTV camera caught you taking pictures”..Who wan argue with this kin person..i opened my folder and showed him the singular picture on the folder..He asked me to delete it..which i did..His next words,”As i said CKN ,we like your job and what you are doing, just relax and have a nice service with us at Household, God bless,you can go back in but no more pictures please”

I was relieved, from that moment, i just respected chris Okotie and his security agents, these guys were not being paid for nothing.

On resuming my seat,my concentration now focused on the Service of songs which was being led by a lady..it lasted for close to an hour before the man of the moment finally came in, ushered in and surrounded by six huge bouncers,the type that will make Goodluck jonathan’s guys look like kindergatens.

He made straight for the pulpit.Three of the bouncers took their positions in front of the alter, just like you saw in that picture that was in circulation last week.

Okotie looks more like a pop star than a pastor.He has not changed one bit from what i saw of him about ten years ago..His jerry curled hair was shinning.He wore a golden colour Jacket with black patches over a black trouser.You will mistake him for one of those Hollywood actors.

Immediately he picked the mic,he went into solo songs..Okotie does not have a choir or back up singers. He is the Choir,Choir master and chorister all put in one.His is the only Church i have visited that does not have a choir.

He was moving from one song to another, for over one hour he didn’t stop.

I was forced to ask the babe beside me,if it was a service or Song festival. She didnt even bother to answer me, all she was saying was give it to me,give it to me Pastor,i can feel it ,give it to me as she sang along..Haaa,give it to you.give you what i asked..

She took a long look at me and continued in her frenzy,i say give it to me my pastor.Oti o.

This is another level,since i didnt want to be left behind,as Okotie was singing i joined her in saying,Give it to us,give it to us pastor,give it to us oooooo.biko give us,give her,give me too lalalalalala.

The lady suddenly stopped and pinched my hand .Keep quiet,you are not singing like someone that is in the spirit she told me.I asked her what she meant,after all i just wanted pastor chris to give it to us and you are asking me to keep quiet.

Please give it to you us,infact kill us Pastor i continued.

By now she had kept quiet and was watching me.

The whole church was in a frenzy,estatic ,singing and dancing.all dance steps were on display,skelewu,konkon below,kukere,name it,even apala dance join.ewooooo

Some were jumping up and down like people possessed by spirit. Some were even running from one end of the auditorium to another.

The beautiful ones that occupied all the front rows,stood up and were dancing close to the alter,as if to say Man Of God,we are still available o.

But chris Okotie must have been used to it because, he no even look their side. He was singing in languages that i never understood.

I even saw a popular actress among them

After over an hour of singing,Okotie now prayed for two nations,Nigeria and Israel (why Isreal,i don’t know) but i heard those were the two countries he prays for weekly.

After the prayer which lasted for about five minutes, he entered gear two,he kpet on sining,singing,singing and sing.

Haba,which kain Church be this nah,no wonder all these people are trooping here,they came to see Okotie perform every week, definitely not his preaching.

After he must have satisfied himself, he now settle down to speak on the birth of Jesus Chris and the three wisemen that came to visit Joseph and Mary.

It’s was easier to understand Patrick Obhiagbon and Wole Soyinka than listening to chris..At a point i i asked the babe beside me what chris just said,she said she didnt know,i then asked how,how come you were shouting Praise the Lord.

She told me that i just have to accept what he is saying with open minds without questioning.na him i tell am say ok,i hear.

The average age at the Church was 40 years.

chris Okotie has die-hard converts who from all indications are ready to do anything for him. he is to them,a role model of a sort.

The babes are well polished. Not the type you see at most of these orthodox churches like Anglican and Roman Catholic.

Okotie went on to say, Love without Money is not complete.

According to him, shower a woman with money and see how she ll cherish you for life.To him,love is not enough.it must be backed with money and big time gifts. According to him,that is why he buys the latest expensive cars.

When i asked the babe beside me who don dey already squeeze my hand whether she believe that, she said ofcourse,i can’t go out with a guy that cannot take care of my needs. Who is not ready to change my car every other year

With that i kuku gradually remove my hand, before the girl go collect my car key and i come take leg waka go house.

She asked me if anything was wrong i told her no, that i was just feeling dizzy and would need some fresh air outside.

To add to my stress, chris Okotie now shared free birthday cakes for people born in different months of 2014 (yap 2014).

He only shared it among ladies; no single guy was allowed to pick a cake.

He also conducted quiz among us, he only allowed women to answer the quiz and each of them were given cakes and gifts.

Of the over 20 gifts chris Okotie gave away today,no single man or guy was given any.

He said his gifts were ONLY for women.

At that point, i knew i have over stayed my welcome. I told the babe that i wanted to go and take some fresh air outside; from there i disappeared and drove off.

It’s obvious that chris Okotie and his babes still have a lot in common.

If you need fine babes,go to Household..If you need superlative Music,chris Okotie will give you several doses, but if you need serious preaching, i doubt if Pastor chris Okotie will be my first Church,maybe because of the big big grammar and effizy.

[Article written by Chris Nwandu, CKN Nigeria]

36 Comments

36 Comments

  1. Gideon

    January 2, 2014 at 6:15 AM

    Hahahahaha Chris U people would not kill me. Dat is how gays does,dey don’t normally give guys gift so dat people will not suspect dey. Chris okotie or whatever U call Urself nemesis will soon caught U.

  2. Ches d boy

    January 2, 2014 at 6:29 AM

    Lolz…..U tink say na church be dat,,,dey are jst there for paparasy,,may God forgive him,he is d one dat is spoiling christian name,,,,,,remember Ğod is judging oooooooooooooooh

  3. Dario

    January 2, 2014 at 6:38 AM

    Chris is making a mess of christianity.

  4. taiwo nordveit

    January 2, 2014 at 7:39 AM

    Christianity sha, when will these followers wise up, ain’t this clear enough to be deemed as fake?

  5. mtomwa111

    January 2, 2014 at 7:53 AM

    As my mama dey talk am for Yoro…Olorun lo mo eniti oun sin oun – Only God, na only Him know person wey truly be His own…

  6. Ayo

    January 2, 2014 at 7:58 AM

    2 Peters 2: 1 – 22

  7. Kingveezy

    January 2, 2014 at 9:43 AM

    Lols i never get bored sha

  8. Blaze_boy

    January 2, 2014 at 11:06 AM

    Ahhhh wonders shall never end lol dis Christ okotie na real womanizer I’m sorry to say dis but that’s what I felt

  9. marshalln

    January 2, 2014 at 11:43 AM

    what a shame!

  10. stella okonkwo

    January 2, 2014 at 12:07 PM

    This article is really an eye opener,chris I know used to be a celebrity and is still one beliv he has gone places and nos the best things of life.I beliv dat y he is outstanding in his attires personally use to jealous of people who use fine and outstanding things lk cloths and other things.but I came to realise that is maybe bcos they are preveleged and they are experienced pple.so my point of view on this matter is that we shuold stop judgeing him frm dat point of view but rather on whether he is atrue man of God.evry pastor don’t use the same order of service.so u dnt expect him to follow that order.if truly he is called by God is only God dat will judge him.so let us leave isssues that don’t matter to discuss the ones dat matters.those fine babes as Mr chris pointed out,I beliv dey made up their minds to dress dat way to church and may nt even be pastor chris dat asked them to do so.so before we concluus hv good evidences.thanks pals and nigeria onl community

  11. osobase wilson

    January 2, 2014 at 1:26 PM

    Bro na wa for u too, u just go there to inspect, as inspector general instead of worshipping ur maker

  12. Metu Nyetu

    January 2, 2014 at 1:29 PM

    Just lyk wat dis writer said 2wds d end of his piece: if u want dance, music, fine babes, effizzy & pomp&show, go 2d church. Bt if u need living water, go elswher.

  13. Queen nneoma

    January 2, 2014 at 2:19 PM

    I luv ur encounter, well it is left for him I don’t know or have seen him but God will judge many.

  14. shubi

    January 2, 2014 at 2:46 PM

    I wonder why they call such a place church. Chris okotie hmmm I pity u.and for ur followers open door to hell fire

  15. Victoria .N. Akpabio

    January 2, 2014 at 3:15 PM

    As 4u chris or wot so eva tin u call ur sef,kno dat if u re jokin in d hou of d most high;he wil not b ha-p wit u. If i may say is dat not d work of anty christ u’re doin?

  16. Nma

    January 2, 2014 at 3:38 PM

    Chris okotie’s followers must be bunch of idiots that have no foresights.

  17. Georges

    January 2, 2014 at 6:23 PM

    My dear chris, your article can heal person with high blood presure, as i was reading your article, i did not stop laughing louder with tears rolling from my eyes,you are more more than some of Nigerian comedians, please i like you, you make me laugh the real laugh.

    But as for the pastor, well i still see him as a talented pop star, not like a pastor, i remember one of his trak, which said GOING CAROLINER IN MY MIND, may God bless you naija guys.

  18. mybo

    January 2, 2014 at 7:49 PM

    never judge a man of God anything .for the lord will judge himself.if you dont believe then do not doubt him…….Mybo frm Ghana

  19. dave

    January 2, 2014 at 8:17 PM

    Uuuhahaaaa, heeey my main men Chris you go kill man with laughter oo. Shei your own pass Naija comedian sam sam. Never ceased laughing from beginning till end of the article. In fact, this na special Happy New Year message. Make you carry go my broda. Una do well.
    Okotie no gba dun at all, na ye ye man. Anyway, I envy am with all the posh cars and fine babes in his pockets.

  20. Michael

    January 2, 2014 at 8:23 PM

    speechlees

  21. dave

    January 2, 2014 at 8:28 PM

    Jesus said that: “whosoever value his life than seeking kingdom of God will surely lose it”. If Christ has not died for Chris Okotie on the Cross, he wouldn’t have find a place in Christendom to experiment its riddles. Where is his faith with all these bouncers surrounding him inside church for God’s sake. None of these bouncers has power to stop death if it knocks on his door step today. What a shame.

  22. walex

    January 2, 2014 at 11:52 PM

    chris okotie, chris okotie, chris okotie,chris okotie,chris okotie,chris okotie,chris okotie,chris okotie. how many times did i call you. God is watching you ooo

  23. Anambra kweun

    January 3, 2014 at 2:30 AM

    They said that the meek will inherit the earth on d last day,so I do not blame him,he is putting his kingdom in order as the bible said.congrats to him.

  24. onome

    January 3, 2014 at 5:46 AM

    Hmm. This is not funny at all. Bouncers in the church? then what is the purpose of the holy spirit? Na wa o

  25. Victor

    January 3, 2014 at 8:14 AM

    Na wa ooo, well make una no 2 suprise cos na end tym we dae nd na also pawa of false prophets, may GOD FORGIVE US ALL

  26. ikegod

    January 3, 2014 at 8:41 AM

    Ssshhhhhiiiii. Dnt conclude yet na 9ja gist u dey o, u dnt knw if its 2ru or not although I knw d man 4rm all his sayings 2 b a wayword man hoo haa

  27. Rayz smart

    January 3, 2014 at 9:15 AM

    Who is man to judge man? Pls all judgement to God almighty.

  28. FX2

    January 3, 2014 at 10:10 AM

    Pls don’t judge

  29. KEVIN

    January 3, 2014 at 3:47 PM

    na dis one say e wan be our president for nigeria b4, wow, na wa, nigeria don suffer for thiefs hand, how e for take rule us i no sabi.
    .

  30. G..joe

    January 3, 2014 at 6:33 PM

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…God

  31. consort

    January 5, 2014 at 12:36 PM

    Ha ha ! I’v heard of Okotie’s funny lifestyle befor buh dis article’z touched ma ribz in ways I cnt say. Gosh, I’m still laughing! Hahahaha!!! Ahh, Okotie…

  32. AbdulFatah A. Araoye

    January 5, 2014 at 1:31 PM

    Let Chris Nwandu or any other person contact me on araoyefa@gmail.com. I’ve something (modern technology) to aid you when you are going out, pls include your mobile number

  33. AbdulFatah A. Araoye

    January 5, 2014 at 1:38 PM

    Let Chris Nwandu or anybody contact me, I’ve something (modern technology) to give you to aid when you are going out. araoyefa@gmail.com +2347068264451

  34. larry odus

    January 7, 2014 at 1:58 PM

    dis is so funny. But if all dis things against dis man dat I’ve hearing all dis while are true believe me this man will start his punishment here on earth before he goes to hell.

  35. Paffre

    January 29, 2014 at 12:10 AM

    I dnt knw y sum pple r too blind 2 si. D bible said u shld b wel of fake prophet, many ll cm in my name n decieve many. God has tld u n it’s al left 4 u 2 b wise. Wat is judge dt one can no longer tel sum one of his wrong did. If u r tellin sum one wat he did is wrong, it dos nt mean u r judgin d person. If nt Jesus wudn’t ve scarterd d jews market which d used church premises as their market place. Pls note, by their fruit u shal knw dem

  36. Nife

    September 8, 2014 at 12:25 PM

    yaaay!!!i don laff taya nt even mindn m in d office…..ds z xoooo hilarious
    i don’t even knw wat tu say bou okotie……jes laffn, ds has made my day

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