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Patrick Obahiagbon Unveils Profile, Gives Trouser Style A Grammatical Name ‘Yohji Yamamoto’

Patrick Obahiagbon Trouser Name

Sept 7, 2013 –  Patrick Obahiagbon Unveils Profile, Gives Trouser Style A Grammatical Name ‘Yohji Yamamoto’

Nigeria’s top grammatalogist, Patrick Obahiagbon has granted the first tell-it-all interview about himself. In this recent interview with the Punch, the Edo State lawmaker talked at length on his educational background and his challenges when he was in school.

He later talked about his religion and his bizarre mode of dressing.

Hon Obahiagbon has given a name to his funny trouser style and it’s Yohji Yamamoto.

According to him, he wears the pant occasionally to relay a positive message to youths who dress indecently.

Interview excerpt below;

  What is your educational background

I am by the grace of the celestial choir, a legal practitioner, a public administrator, an international historian and a diplomat. I earned a degree in Law and was called to the Nigerian Bar as a solicitor and advocate of the Supreme Court of Nigeria about 25 years ago and I do also have a double-barreled Master’s degree in Public Administration and in International History and Diplomacy.

Why do you always speak ‘big grammar’?
I am not really consensus ad idem with those who opine that my idiolect is advertently obfuscative. No no no, it’s just that I am in my elements when the colloquy has to do with the pax nigeriana of our dreams and one necessarily needs to fulminate against the alcibiadian modus vivendi of our prebendal political class.

How do you talk to your wife, children and even your friends?
I relate with my family and friends very warmly and in an atmosphere of camaraderie, stripped of my confutational habiliment and gladiatorial homilies. I am a very peaceful, calm, level-headed and celestially attuned soul personality.

 Is this the way you proposed to your wife, speaking high tech grammar?
Of course, the business of the day when I interfaced with my wife on matters of the heart had to be in plain Caeser’s language and you can decipher why that had to be so. The matter in view did not permit itself of sphinxian conundrum.
It’s a long time ago, so I can’t remember the exact words I used. We had a relationship for ten years before we got married. We’re looking at close to 20 years ago.

How does your family understand your English?
My family and friends understand me perfectly just the same way you understand me now though, I must admit that it depends on the issues on the piazza.

Is this the way you were speaking in your school days?
I’m sure if you confer with my school mates they will tell you that I no longer speak what those who just know me now call “grammar.” I could speak for about twenty minutes when I was in the university and you won’t understand one word of what I said. I must say I have deteriorated in my grammatical construct.

How did you start speaking in this manner?
It all happened when my father brought me a teaser which stated that good orators had ruled the world and you must have to be a feisty orator if you must rule the world. As an impressionable young man, I alacritously threw myself into the whirligig of improving my usage of words by amassing new words on a daily basis.

Did you write exams in school in these big words?

I used such words very-very freely in my exams both at the secondary school and in my university and little wonder I had the misfortune of my English results being seized intermittently in my O’ Levels.
WAEC released my results for the other subjects and withheld my English result. This happened for about three years. Twice, I passed the University Matriculation Examination but I could not proceed to the University because of my English results that were not released. At the end of the day, it was released after the third attempt.

Didn’t you have problems with your teachers?
It no doubt gave me serious issues at the university and that is because some, if not most of my lecturers, ran away with the erroneous impression that my attitudinal predilection had a deprecable tinge of academic braggadocio and intellectual megalomania. But this assumption was both mendacious and a fallacious ad hominem. I could not but take solace in that Latin apothegm which states that O Tempora! O Mores.

Was English your best subject?
My best subject in secondary school was government and religion and am sure that I was drawn to religion because, I now know as a student of Rosicrucian mysticism, that I was a student of divine light in my last incarnation. As for government, I just fell in love with the subject due to my early attraction in life to issues of political-economy.

So what did you score in English language?
English language was of course my hobbyhorse and passion but like I earlier asseverated, my results were constantly guillotined to my utter chagrin that I had to lapse into a jeremiad of lachrymoseim for a period of aeon. I would need to check the result again to be sure of my score.

 Do you pray the same way you speak?
God understands all languages, my brother and I pray to God using any word that pops up. May I posit that the key points in prayers are your sincerity, purity of heart, walking within the compass and to what extent are you ready and worthy of receiving the benediction of the cosmic and the cosmic masters because as we say in mysticism- “when the students are ready, the masters would appear.”

Take my words my brother that more than seventy per cent of humanity don’t know how to pray but that is a matter for another day.

By the way, are there other names you call God?
God is variously known as Jehovah, Yaweh, The Great Grand Architect of the Universe, The Cosmic Host and several other names known alone to heirophants but which names are so ineffable for me to mention here.

 Do you know that many people don’t take you too seriously when you talk because they think you are not communicating?

Why will I be perturbed from ensconcing myself in the palatable arms of Morpheus because people have deprived themselves of the cultivation of the regime of the mental magnitude? I read all the farrago of baloneys and vacuous bunkum from pepper soup objurgators. The spirit of animadversion remains their fundamental human right. It also remains an indubitable fact that I get millions and millions of requests daily from people all over the world requesting for my verbal mentorship which positive cosmopolitan reactions have assisted my equipoise and righteous sense of pachydermatous garb. I cannot put my nose to the grindstone daily and expect to be understood by those luxuriating in a modus vivendi, verging on pepper souping, goat heading, suyaing, big stouting and isiewulising. Has a philosophical wag not once pontificated that things of the spirit are spiritually discerned and that it takes the deep to call the deep? We will speak more on this matter of critiques and chichi dodo another day.

You were there when a teacher in your state couldn’t pronounce ‘solemnly’, how did you feel?
I was indeed sad that a teacher in Edo State  could not pronounce a simple word as ‘solemn’. That was certainly one of my low moments in the service of Edo State but the eulogies must go to Comrade Adams Oshiomhole who put in place the infrastructure that made it possible to detect such an egregious ambience and this government would stop at nothing in cleansing the Augean stables.

Have you ever considered organising English classes in Edo State?

I would have loved to organise English classes, my brother, but you will agree with me that I am sufficiently busy just now.

 Why do you pull your trousers up beyond the waist?
Hahahaha….That trousers style is called Yohji Yamamoto. It was my own audacious statement to remonstrate against the pervasive tendency of Nigerians especially our youths that took to the practice of putting on trousers exposing their lower anatomical contours and I will do it over and over again.

When you speak to Caucasians of English origin, how do they react to you?
My friends that are whites simply marvel and sometimes get maniacally bewildered when we engage, most times to my consternation.

 Do you think that you understand English language better than the owners of the language?
I have never had the ambition to know the English language more than the owners. However,  I must mention that they are shocked most times to find out several words from me they never heard of that existed in the dictionary. Yet, those words are supposed to be theirs. Na so we see am.

Have you ever met with the Nobel Laureate, Prof. Wole Soyinka? And what’s your opinion of him?
Professor Wole Soyinka is an international personality. It’s either you have met him personally or by reputation. He is a great man and I enjoy reading him anytime, any day.

Can you ever be caught speaking what many would consider as normal English?
I speak in plain Ceasers language or what you call the normal language and let me tell you that I will hold my own even in pidgin conversation. No just try me at all at all o.

What is your take on the ongoing crisis in the PDP?
The crisis in PDP? All I can say is that I join some people to dey laugh o and he be like say my laugh go tay well well o.

Are you likely to contest for a political office?
I am still in politics, serving the good and amiable people of Edo State. Being the Chief of Staff to the comrade governor is in itself an art of daily political engineering.

Do you look forward to developing your own dictionary?
My own dictionary? I have never really given that a thought, but there is a young man in one of our universities who travelled all the way to meet me in Benin. His doctoral thesis is on “Obahiagbonism as a style of language.”

How many dictionaries do you read a day and how often do you read dictionaries?
I have read and still do read a vaudeville of dictionaries from Websters to Funk and Wagnalls, from Cambridge to Oxford dictionaries, from Black’s Law Dictionary to Encarta and from Encyclopedia Britannica to Foreignisms, etcetera. I developed my corpus of vocabulary by reading omnivorously. I have also spent nothing less than an hour daily on my dictionary for over twenty years. So, whereas the dictionary for most people is a mere occasional reference point, it is for, me a vade-mecum. It may also interest you to know that there is much to learn from our daily newspapers.

You seem to mix English with other languages…
On mixing of languages; that comes with reading omnivorously. You cannot but pick these words here and there if you have an audacious reading culture.

Is any of your children like you?
My children are still growing but I petition the celestial choir and cosmic hosts to give them the gift of kissing the hybla bee.

What is your favourite quote?
One of my favorite quotes is from the sapiential mind of the late Ikene philosopher, Papa Jeremiah Obafemi Awolowo, when he was quoted as saying that, “the greatest glory is not in never falling but to rise up after a fall.”

Are you planning to contest in 2015?
I always feel flattered and smile with delight when I hear positive commentary on my tenure at the National Assembly and the wish of Nigerians to see me back at the National Assembly. I am humbled but as a student of mysticism, nothing happens in my life by accident. I am a robot in the hands of God and from that point of view therefore, 2015 would take care of itself. All my efforts just now my brother is geared towards complementing the efforts of the comrade governor in the total transmogrification of Edo State which is enough to chew at the moment. Let me however use this opportunity of your question to appreciate my numerous admirers all over the world.

How are you coping with the Governor of Edo State, knowing that the two of you have strong personalities?
When two or more personages are united only by the bonds of rendering service, that in itself becomes an agglutinating fragrance. In any case, I am very clear that Comrade Oshio Baba is the Governor of Edo State and I am his privileged Chief of Staff. So we are working together very harmoniously and in an ambience of conviviality in our unstoppable desire in taking Edo State to the next level.

[Interview culled from Punch Hot Seat]



  1. Bro seun

    September 7, 2013 at 8:27 PM

    u never cease to amaze me oga pato u belong to aro

  2. aniekan

    September 7, 2013 at 8:40 PM

    i wish i kud b lyk u,,avin such brain,,,,u dohn finish me Ooo

  3. aniekan

    September 7, 2013 at 8:41 PM

    ur blood tu hot abeg

  4. Tony Okonkwo

    September 7, 2013 at 9:42 PM

    He needs urgent medical attention i pity ur wife

  5. Metu Nyetu

    September 7, 2013 at 9:54 PM

    U dnt need speaking in tongues 2 confuse d devil; ur topsy-turvidomic verbosity would suffice 2 chase all pharoahvalent demons out of Nigerea.

  6. king wizzy

    September 7, 2013 at 10:24 PM

    Oga no bi English be that jor…Una no dey check am before talking..see….

    Yōji Yamamoto (山本 耀司, Yamamoto Yōji, born 1943[1]) is an award winning and influential Japanese fashion designer based in Tokyo and Paris. He is considered to be a master tailor,[2] alongside those such as Madeleine Vionnet and is known for his avant-garde tailoring featuring Japanese design aesthetics.

  7. Brymo T

    September 8, 2013 at 12:57 AM

    He has no fashion sense whatsoever something is definitely wrong upstairs

  8. Reality

    September 8, 2013 at 3:34 AM

    I agree with Tony Okonkwo,this man needs an urgent medical attention, his sanity is in doubt, this is absolute rubbish….

  9. Bodunwa

    September 8, 2013 at 4:09 AM

    ndlea take not this man is high on crack cocaine

  10. Joseph

    September 8, 2013 at 4:18 AM

    Patrick Obahiagbon with his many….

  11. Lanista

    September 8, 2013 at 4:53 AM

    Hon patrick; speaking big big vocabularies without its juice or correlation ι§ №†̥ a sign of intelligence. Stop being a comic character. There’s notyn wil a simple; sweet; well oiled Ω̴̩̩̩̥ understandable english. When Ɣϑu speak Ω̴̩̩̩̥ pple don’t understand; U̶̲̥̅̊я̩̥̊ №†̥ communicating. If S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ b̶̲̥̅̊​c̶̲̥̅̊ it Men like Prof Wole soyinka wud start acting likewise. Α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ U̶̲̥̅̊ more advanced grammatically than Prof wole soyinka? Τ̣̣ђℓ̊s man shud stop makin a fool of himself. He’s too archaic Ω̴̩̩̩̥ nigeria ι§ too ripe FO̶̷̩̥̊͡Я τ̣̣ђℓ̊s . Let him help fashion out the way †Φ move Edo state forward instead of speakin annoying big vocabularies †̥ђα̲̅†̥ hav N̶̲̥̅̊ meaning

  12. chinelo

    September 8, 2013 at 6:29 AM

    ISIEWULISING, is that English word too, i can bet he is forging most of the words

  13. oteesflex

    September 8, 2013 at 6:37 AM

    Hahahahaha, dis man na born dictionary, if u die, we go grind ur head turn it to dictionary

  14. GP

    September 8, 2013 at 7:28 AM

    oga pato ur pathologically thrombocytogetectomised via cereberally cum lingual ataxic therefore effusing schizophrenic syndrome,but everly i go vote 4 u to the anastomising the haemorragic caudate nucleus of our national polity .even, i go vote u 4 president 2 comot GEJ. IN IGBOLAND WE SAY THERE MUST BE A MAD MAN IN A TOWN ,UR ONE OF SUCH 4 NAIJA CARRY GO I JOIN U SIR!

  15. Cutie

    September 8, 2013 at 8:14 AM

    Make dem no include Hon among those who gø̶̷̩̥̊͡ help us negotiate wit Govt on top Asuu matter ooo,because no conclusion will ever be reached.

  16. red

    September 8, 2013 at 8:24 AM

    U gits are really misunderstanding this man. I don’t care if the words are correct or not.Do I have to fish out every documented material to grab what is trying to say? I see his behaviour as a cry for help,what we need to do to cure this mental issue is to carve a man/woman out of wood,lock them up in a room 4 months and let him blow those words till he passes out.that’s the only known treatment for his condition called grammertotologicalstandation.

  17. Shalom

    September 8, 2013 at 8:31 AM


  18. paul

    September 8, 2013 at 2:14 PM

    great son of Naija Land and a true honourable. I’m so proud of you as you continue to teach our young ones the very good part to follow. ofcourse oyibo no teach us nothing, na we open there eyes.

  19. Kenny

    September 8, 2013 at 4:04 PM

    My beloveth broda pls cut down on dis tin now. Y giv ppl D erroneous impression dat U’r mentally impaired? Godamn it!

  20. Escravos

    September 8, 2013 at 8:15 PM

    Oga Na wa for you self ! Na Only God or YABA fit help you , No vex


    September 9, 2013 at 7:53 AM

    I am short of word i just cant understand the gangertic gramalogitorial euomologbaski rubishmanial that this skibolized man is enciphered. pls he need help.if u think u can gba us with ur skopick lies of expressing ur self with english, we will let u also now that we are mad english niaja peeps so let all speek wicked OMOGOROTETRAIYALAYAEDEKEDE. PEACE ON TO U

  22. Malaria

    September 9, 2013 at 1:56 PM

    If d hegeozoiic idiocyncracy of dis tetum honourabl is 2 deploy interloping grammertical threads against my yegubuam comprension, den let som sapient individual personality wit prescient impartation personally whisper 2 him dis jocoival notice. Let dat independent individual grammertically help me relay2him dat he is not d only one dat can swim across several lingoral waters b4 vocal wind is effused. Let dat unprejudiced paka boomboom individual help me 2 accordingly and commensurately croon into d honourable’s sound-receptacular ear dat asuwa asuwa aghotaghi neme ya ka ara.

  23. James Mwania

    June 29, 2017 at 1:20 PM

    This guy is a guru who has mastered what he has come across.

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