Saturday January 27, 2018 – The Ten Things You Must Never Delegate
By Gbenga Adebambo
“You will have to do some things yourself. Things that you cannot delegate.” – Nadine Gramling
Leadership is the art of knowing what to let go of. Knowing ‘what’, ‘when’ and ‘how’ to delegate can exponentially raise your success rate. However, completely letting go of some basic cores can lead to confusion and fatal disaster. Delegation is central to successful leadership but there are a few things leaders should never delegate. It is imperative if we truly want to make a mark in life, to be laser-focused on these crucial things as they can turbo-shoot when and how we reach our desired destinations.
Jim Rohn said, “The day you graduate from childhood to adulthood is the day you take full responsibility for your life.” My years as a personal development coach has made me realized that there are things that must not be delegated. You can never use Panadol for another man’s headache! Whatever you do, don’t abdicate or delegate the following:
We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are! Let your growth be your personal goal. Abraham Lincoln once said, “You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was”. The easiest way to short-circuit your success is to delegate your growth. Your growth is your responsibility. You must not just go through life, you must grow through life. Never ever delegate your growth; growth is personal. You have a gold mine when you have a ‘growth mind’. Zig Ziglar said “You cannot become what you need to be by remaining what you are”. Success is about learning to become the person capable of succeeding. Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become!
Every man must do his own thinking! Our lives follow the trajectory of our thought and the pictures that stays in our mind will always happen in time. Adolf Hitler once said, “What great hope for leaders that followers do not think”. The horror of the holocaust perpetrated by the Nazi regime was simply because the Germans deferred their ‘thinking’ to Hitler’s overrated thinking ability. Delegating your thinking is the origin of inferiority complex.
You cannot birth what you cannot conceive in your mind. The core of leadership is critical thinking and leaders get ahead by devoting a larger chunk of their time to it. Don’t delegate your ‘thinking’! The Holy book says in Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life”. Elizabeth Gilbert said, “You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”
Mandy Hale said, “Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life”. You are responsible for your own happiness. If you expect others to make you happy, you will always end up frustrated. Never put the key to your happiness in someone else’s hand; nobody should be in charge of your happiness except you. When your fountain is from within, nobody can drain you. The most miserable people are always those that have given the keys to their happiness to others. Some people can ruin other people’s happiness if they are unable to find theirs; never let someone steal your happiness. Aristotle once said, “Happiness depends upon ourselves”. Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose.
You will never be free if you always expect your freedom to be given. When you depend on other people for your freedom, it is not freedom at all! Delegating your freedom is a new form of bondage. Jim Morrison said, “Of all freedom, the most important is the freedom to be you”. In fact, freedom is being you without anyone’s permission.
#5 PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES:
Don’t ever be a parent by proxy; you are the only one who can give your child the parent they need. Be part of your children’s success stories. The more you delegate your responsibilities in your children’s life and in your spouse’s life, the more relegated you will become in their lives. Don’t ever give too much of your critical roles to others. Be involved, be present, and be your children’s greatest fan. When children are unable to find a hero in their parents, they will ultimately be exposed to unguarded external influence. When you make a decision to have a child, you’re also making the decision to take responsibility for that child. You don’t abandon your obligation as a parent because you have “other plans”.
Your attention please: No one is coming to save you! This life of yours is 100% your responsibility. Some people are always waiting for others to come and rescue them without being part of their own rescue! In my years of experience with youths going through addiction, I can easily predict the success of the rehabilitation process by just evaluating the victim’s participation in their own recovery. If you want to change your life for the better, you’ve got to participate in your own rescue. Stop waiting for someone to come and rescue you; you are your own rescue!
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Nobody can bring you peace but yourself”. Without inner peace, outer peace is impossible. You must never compromise, negotiate or delegate your peace. I have often said that there is nothing that is too expensive to do in order to have peace of mind. Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive. Your life becomes a masterpiece when you learn to master peace!
Warren Bennis said, “Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality”. Vision gives direction. The worst thing in life is to get your vision and direction from others. He who does not look ahead, always remain behind. Discovering the reason why you are created is your sole responsibility. You’ve got to discover the one thing you were created to be and be willing to pay the price to be it. In life, it is either you are a man of vision or you will become an omission! Helen keller said, “The greatest tragedy of life is to have sight but lack insight”. Delegating your vision is like delegating your reason for existence! You will ultimately need people to help you drive your vision but you must take an active part in evolving a vision statement.
#9 INTERNAL SECURITY:
The man who has no inner security is a slave of his surroundings. Seeking validation from others invalidates you; don’t be addicted to people’s approval of you. Tim Fargo once said, “If you want to improve your self-worth, stop giving other people calculator”. Another word for internal security is self-worth or self-esteem. In fact, self-esteem is the reputation we acquire within ourselves.
You can delegate your external security to others but your inner security is your responsibility. Roberts Liardson said, “An internal security always produce an outward stability”. You must learn how to search for validation from within yourself. The validation that comes from within is the only sustainable strength available to man. One of the greatest sporting figures of all times, Muhammad Ali, revealed in one of his quotes the one thing he always guard jealously when he said, “I have never let anyone talk to me into not believing in myself”.
#10 YOUR DREAM:
Dreams get you into the future and add excitement to the present. Rodney White said, “It costs nothing to dream, and everything not to”. Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs. Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, the former president of Indian once said, “Your dream is not what you see in sleep; your dream is that which keeps you from sleeping.” Everything that we see today is a product of someone’s dream.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”. I want to inspire the youths not to only dream big, but also take small steps towards the achievement of their dreams; you are never too young to dream. Don’t ever let somebody tell you, you can’t do something.
You have a dream that you have to protect, and the right to live your dream is in your hands. Don’t ever give up on your dreams and when someone tells you “it can’t be done”, it doesn’t mean you can’t do it, it simply means you can’t do it with them! Henry David Thoreau said, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, live the life you’ve imagined”. Stop looking for validation from others; your dreams are valid!
Martin Luther King.Jr said, “Our lives begin to end the day we pay less attention to the things that matter”.
As a leader, there are many things you can successfully delegate almost completely. However, I highly suggest that your growth, vision, dream, happiness, freedom, peace, and thought pattern be guarded closely by you.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me.” – Helen Keller