June 16, 2013 – Letter From The Grave: Touching Letter By An Abused Wife To Her Husband B/4 She Died Of Cancer. RIP Dolapo GoodGod
This touching letter was written by late Dolapo GoodGod who was buried in Ireland few weeks ago.
One’s last words are always revealing and provide a critical and honest assessment of one’s life and the most important issues therein.
Our dear friend, Dolapo who died a few weeks ago and was finally laid to rest on the 14th of June in Ireland decided to share her’ last words on the day she was returned to mother earth. I woke up this morning and saw this link in my inbox from Dolapo’s FB account. I immediately assumed her account had been compromised but decided to click and what I read ….well let’s just say summed up neatly by the author herself. They were Dolapo’s thoughts on many of the challenges she faced and as she provided a better glimpse for those with many unanswered questions.
As you read this, you will fight tears…it is a sad story but Dolapo’s willingness to share her story is a classic example of her love and really an example of turning one’s mess into a message. Her story tells of her journey, betrayal, pain, sadness yet it provides hope and peace as she shares her journey of applying her faith to real life issues. Sometimes our best stories are written when we are done here on earth, I believe Dolapo’s story is still being written…and I say a big thank you for everything. We were members of the same team in CLF, served and worked together in the ‘special’ Visitation Committee with Sis. Lawunmi (late)…well you two can continue what was started many years ago. We are still here…running our race. We will see you all when we are done…but for now…we run. Go ahead rest in the bosom of our Lord forever.
Read it here:
I bid you farewell………………… ………………………..
I am grateful to God that I will rest in His bosom and I am more grateful because I have always wanted this opportunity to speak my mind even unto death. I guess you are surprised that even the dead can air an opinion; in my
case I really wanted to because I knew that God was preparing a place for me and that is where I will be. Do not weep for so long because I found eternal peace in Him.
The very peace that has eroded me in about twelve years of my God given years (at the time of this writing I am forty-one years of age and I have been married for twelve years).
This is my story………
I am Yetunde nee Olotu as I am fondly called by my immediate family in Nigeria but here I am being referred to as Omodolapo Jagha as named by the love of my life. Now, I am Dolapo GoodGod , the surname I adopted when I realized that I no longer have a husband who will be there for me. The very man I should expect to be the Master of ceremony at my burial, the man you think would miss my departure the most but unfortunately not. I believe my estranged husband is glad that he is now free from the bondage called marriage.
Noble Jagha, I hope you feel so happy now that your prophesy to Maryam Hassan and other girlfriends of yours that I will soon die so you can marry them is now fulfilled. The truth is that my body may be dead but my hope of glory in heaven is constant as God lives. I may not be here again but I am so sure you will never find anyone to love you the way I did……
You were my first love, the very man who deflowered me but turned his back on me years after that I was not good on bed (not sexy enough for you), I was not good at cooking but I managed to learn and cook your local meal of Starch and Banga. He said, “I was so paranoid” because I complained that you are only comfortable making phone calls in the car and returning home at midnight. You finally abandoned me and the children in December, 2012 after all the mental and physical abuse I suffered from you. You could not face the wrath of law as I got a safety and protection order against you because I was afraid that you would eventually take my life.
While you lived with us, you were of no use, as you were not readily available to do your matrimonial and fatherly duties. How painful it was to take the twins to school walking all the way from Ongar to Little Pace, sometimes after getting a chemo. Even when I pleaded with you to look after the kids when I have appointments at the hospital you refused.
Thank God for the Irish government (HSE) that provided me with home help (Margaret), my cousin, grandma Odelade, Sola and S. Bimbo (my wonderful sisters in church), my friend, confidant (Gbemi) who stuck to me like a sister, she is known in all our kids’ school as their guardian because you were not there. You found solace in your numerous, “your attraction” as you referred to the choir leader and probably your new sizzling romance Sheila Luxembor whom you kept my kids with without my consent.
I hope she told you I rang her and made peace with her when I did no wrong (Yeah, I did this to secure my heaven).
Hhhhmmmm……….the Lord is my strength. Oti, how do you feel after physically and mentally tormenting me? You can now be happy that “the living corpse” (as you often referred to me) in your home has finally gone to be with God. You no longer have to hit me or pounce on me anymore.
In death I have forgiven you because I loved you but I hope you are able to forgive yourself…….? I cannot forget in a minute how I felt so let down that I took to my heels and sought refuge in that sister’s place and later on at the women’s refuge. I am sure your defence is that I died as a cancer patient but I believe I could live a day longer if you were there for me…… I went through the pains of Cancer lonely! Rather than supporting, you rejected me. Isn’t marriage meant to be for better or for worse.….? I hope when I remember how childish you were for taking the boot you bought for me and returning the wrist watch I bought for you I can peacefully sigh a relief for leaving this cruel world.
You were so mean to me! Oti, you were really mean to Emmanuella too. How could you ill-treat your own children because they are girls? I have all the horrible text messages you sent to me documented; psychologically you killed me before my death. Pastor Jagha, a man of God! The church has failed in their duty to help you from fallen, they have pampered you for doing wrong in order to save their face and invariably they have failed me.
Church is meant for sinners irrespective of their position and as such no one should be above chastising. I hope after my demise our father in the Lord would have enough evidence to correct the wrong of my beloved husband. No wonder my so-called husband was able to trick the church who also lured me to take off the safety and protection order and stop me from getting a separation that I so long for.
On my dying bed I made copies of telephone bills showing his immoral communication with a worker in the church at Athlone but there was still no sufficient evidence……… The church that should be a place of refuge became a place of torment for me. I hope you can also enjoy your new relationship with Sheila, I learnt you told some of your church members that I asked her to look after my kids because I was sick in the hospital whereas she keeps malice with me just because of your sex romp with her. Oti, you left my children at home for two days and went to sleep with your girl friend in Athlone.
You also asked my under-aged children to travel on bus to Athlone by themselves while I was on the hospital bed. I loved you but you failed me and you know it. The bitter pill that I have to swallow is the fact that I can no longer be there for my lovely girls .Their beloved father despised them so because I could not make a male child (you claimed that I was unable to have a boy child because I did not drink from the anointing oil which you asked me to drink and that makes you detest me too).
I am deeply sorry that I did not drink it; maybe that would have spared me of some lashes. Our lovely first daughter at age twelve said, “Mummy I don’t think I will get married” This is as a result of the abuse that my child suffered from our marriage… If you are a loved one and you know my daughter, please help me say to her that marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured….. I want her to be married and make me proud! Oti, why do you always run away from your problems rather than resolving them? You left Nigeria because of your involvement in fraud at the bank which you never resolved.
As I speak you owe my mother a sum of one million, two hundred thousand naira which you have no plan to repay. How come you had issues even with your own sibling in the U.K to such an extent that you poisoned her…..? That is the more reason why I was so scared for my life. You are such a difficult person, the community welfare officer , our GP, Olive at Hartstown , the Child protection unit at Finglas and our father in the Lord tried their best to advise you to no avail. You were not ready to make me happy.Noble Jagha, you wanted me dead as soon as possible.
I still wonder why you refused to come with me for separation times and again when I asked that we should part ways. I know your intent may be to make gains from my years of labour at Anpost. I worked so hard to pay the rent, to feed us and even paid some of your fees to pursue your MBA. Despite all my effort you were never satisfied, even on my sick bed you demanded for money…..I hope you are happy that you have them all and you can feed your numerous girlfriends with them.
I plead with you and I besiege all that reads this to appeal to you that you do the following after my demise which is of utmost importance (I hope you will heed advice for once).
1. That you may put in trust/fixed deposit for my daughters all monies raised from my burial and benefits from my workplace having paid all expenses incurred and other personal loan taking from my friends during my period of illness. My daughters need to know I care for them even in my grave.
2. That, I have a will in which I have named the executors to my will and joint custodians of our children. The lawyer will keep you posted in due course, please adhere!
3. Oti you can also pay any money that you owe from the monies before the account is opened.
4. Kindly pay my mother the money you owe her too before the account is fixed.
5. I want my mother to be a part of my children’s life, please don’t deprive her.
6. Oti make peace with my family and friends (stop making enemies out of the people that helps me).
Oti, it may surprise you but I have to let you know that I have the password to your facebook account and email accounts! How come I am not on your friend list?
Why did you also refuse to tell me the cause of your mother’s death? I know she died of cancer! Hmmmm Oti does not love me; he could not stay with me in sickness despite the fact that I loved him more than my children. Hhmmmm
I hope my mother can forgive me for not heeding her advice in respect of my choice of marriage and I pray that God gives her and my father the fortitude to bear this irreparable lost.
It is too late to cry when the head is off.
Thank you for not leaving me alone in my time of troubles and needs my sisters, thank you sister for going to Olive’s school, please follow up with Emmanuel as planned, I don’t want my children to suffer. I am so worried …..I am tired.
I don’t want you people to go, don’t leave me alone. I want someone to sleep here with me tonight.
This is soooooooooooo sad…
May her soul rest in perfect peace.