By Shola Adebowale & Chijioke Iremeka
Desperate Steps Young Nigerian Men Take To Get Immigration Papers Abroad..How They Prefer Old American Women To Local Slay Queens
Touching Story Of Young Nigerian Men Getting Married To Older Women To Get Immigration Papers Abroad
Young Nigerian men are implementing whatsoever it takes to secure their immigration papers abroad. One of the more popular overtures is marriage between them and white women (usually older) after which they often severe the marriages.
Joseph Isuofia, a Lagos secondary school lever, is one of Nigerians, who traveled abroad in their desperate bid to get out of the frustration and alleged hopelessness in the country, for a better life. Like other young Nigerians, he has done unimaginable things abroad in order to get his immigration papers and work permit in Finland, to make his stay in the Scandinavian country, a resounding success. Joseph had been in the habit of visiting Italy with his maternal uncle yearly for fun.
He thought Obi will forever be a boy. However, his father’s death changed his mentality. Being the first and only male child of his father, he entered the shoes of his father when his father died, leaving his three younger sisters and his lovely wife to Joseph to nocturne and play father figure role in their lives. He took a drastic turn and decided to take the bull by the horns. Again, the reality on the ground coerced him to disobey his uncle for once in order to make ends meet.
His uncle used to take him to Italy for fun and took him back accordingly without thinking of making him a permanent resident of Italy. On the straw that broke the camel’s back, he told his uncle who wanted to take him back to Nigeria after holidays that he wasn’t going with him and has made up his mind to fight the battles of life liberate his mother and younger ones from the grip of poverty.
In his response, his uncle did all he could to take him back, including threats of deportation and freezing his feeding allow ance, but he stood his ground, instead, he developed a thick skin and clinched to a female citizen of the land and made her his wife even though the lady is much older than him.
His marriage with his divorcee wife is currently blessed with a bouncing baby girl and the ultimately, immigration papers. The child was named Chimamanda, a name popular among Igbo stocks, which means my God will not fall. Thus, getting married to more elderly women and sometimes, contract marriages, is part of the peculiar things many hustlers who left the shores of Nigeria for greener pastures do abroad to make ends meet. They blame it on the poor state of infrastructures and high cost of living.
The economic hardships of the 80s and 90s saw an exodus of Nigerians leaving the country in a massive brain drain and current administration has worsened the epidemics. Embassies of nations like the United Kingdom and the United States of America are always busy, entertaining people with intention to leave the country for a better future. This led to an unpredictable problem of demand being greater than the supply.
One of the most popular schemes is the marriage between young Nigerian men and much older white women, in order to secure visas and immigration papers. The moment they hit their target, they severe the unions. In most cases, while they are on partial or contract marriages with the white women of their mothers’ age, they come back to Nigeria to marry real Nigerian wives, who as a general rule, cannot travel to stay with their husbands.
Before they travel, some of them are legally married at home while others have just done their introduction, the initial marriage rite to show the parents of the lady that they are interested in their daughters with plans to come back and take them but the white-woman factor changes the equation. While these acclaimed newly married women are perpetually keeping faith, waiting for their husbands’ return, some of them have their husbands spoil them with lengthy phone calls, gifts, clothing and cash; others are waiting endlessly without communication of any sort.
Patricia Chioma is a midwife and one of the ladies who desired to travel abroad by marrying a Yankee (American) man, unfortunately, few days after her introduction, her husband traveled abroad promising to complete the marriage rites and take her to the States upon return, but four years after, he is yet to visit Nigeria. Though he tried to keep the marriage afloat by regular communication and gifts, yet that wasn’t what Patricia envisaged before tying the knot. She needed somebody to be with, talk to, and share feeling with, even as she never lost focus of her travelling to the US
She complained bitterly, even when the husband usually sent her goodies from US. He bought ninety per cent of the clothes she used to wear, as he was bent on maintaining the relationship. Patricia’s dream of seeing her husband return in a grand style for a society wedding never happened, as her husband who was already married to a white woman didn’t return four years after the introduction. Known for her incessant complaints and appeal for ‘sexual healing’ from close pals, Pat who said ‘body no bi firewood,’ went all out, in search of a man who will do the matrimonial assignment abandoned by her husband in the past four years. When the handwriting on the wall was clear, she threw in the towel and said: “I can’t be staying like this. I’m a woman. You don’t know what I’m going through. I need a man in my life.
I need to satisfy my sexual urge. “For four years now, I have been like this. I want to end this relationship. Men are coming but for this baggage. I’m not interested in this marriage again. It’s not working. If I see another interested person, I will marry him.” These were her last sordid remarks on the marriage before she ended it up and married another man to put an end to this lifestyle of seeking and virtually begging pals to quench her burning emotions. More so, some of these guys go as far as breaking the relationships with these white women when the papers are out. Also, they sacrifice their marriages in Nigeria if it would cost them their immigration papers. Martins Erhabor is from Edo State. He had an introduction with his town’s woman, Ese and traveled to Malaysia. In Malaysia, he got interested in another woman who has been helping him.
They decided to go into marriage but this young man, when he got what he was looking for, he returned to Nigeria. He had told the woman that he was coming back but moved to another country as Malaysia does not issue anybody with permanent stay, not even with marriage. He secured papers behind his wife, Annie, and moved to Germany.
The white lady, who had been praying for him for safe trip home, had called countless times appealing with him to come back after three weeks, he told Annie that his coming back had elapsed. A month had gone and the young man ignored her in her emotional crisis, despite all the money the lady sent to him, when he claimed he could not come back due to paucity of fund. Some these Nigerians hustlers are sex slaves to the white women and to others, sex toys on the pretext that Africans ‘hammer’ well. They are called gigolos (men live by serving elderly women).
They ensure that their mistresses’ sexual needs are met. The white ladies jealously keep them to themselves and give them whatever they want. If you have a brother or male relatives, who usually calls and asks you to send him agbo, local libido enhancement concoctions on regular basis, hmmmm…, he may be one of those, who service white women for pay and immigration papers. Melvin Ovie, resident in Spain, is currently confused on what to do regard his local wife and foreign wife. He told Joan that his local wife is his sister.
The white woman knows Melvin’s wife, Rachael, as her sister in-law, whom she also calls to share memorable times she shares with her supposedly sister-inlaw not knowing she was speaking to her co-wife. He is confused whether to leave the local wife, mother of his daughter, or the whitewoman but the confusion is heightened because the white-woman is deliberately delaying his papers and the local wife is demanding to see him or quit the marriage. Of course, Melvin’s love and life, according to him, is his local wife, whom he will enjoy his wealth with afterwards. But the white lady doesn’t give him breathing space. Both of them go out together and come back together. The day he went to church alone and came back late, Joan locked him out for hours. As shouting or knowing will earn him another trouble from the neighbours, he called and called but she refused open the door.
What saved him was that he reasoned like a Nigerian, he is. He disconnected the light and heat forced her to open the door to know what was happing. Also, Joan doesn’t give him cash to spend instead, she pays for virtually everything Melvin needs and as a result, he hardly sends money or clothes or other material things to his home based wife. Sunday Telegraph has seen over 18 leaked photographs of young Nigerian men, who got married to older foreign women at the Ikoyi Registry in Lagos this year. A trader at the Registry said the development is now out of control, saying that some of the marriages, even when not supported by the grooms’ parents, other family members and friends will always throw their weight behind such marriage, which they see as a business venture that must yield profit.
Sequel to this, one can’t really say that such marriages are fantastic even when the local marriage prompted by love and care are bed of roses. With the way the trend is turning out, can it be safely assumed that inter-race marriages between younger men and older women are usually a smooth sail without consequence?
Young Nigerian men are seemed to be the target of old European, American and Asian women in need of toy boys. There have been increasing cases of such marriages online, where men and women propose to their spouses on Skype, facebook and other social media platforms. Pictures of young Nigerian men being joined in ‘business matrimony’ with older foreign women with an age difference as wide as 30 years, are also everywhere on the net. If there were doubts that physical attraction could play a role in the choice of a lover, one would need to hear Angela Nwachukwu, a 63- year-old British grandmother speak of her boy, a 27-year-old Nigerian simply identified as ‘CJ’. “He was so handsome, with big, brown eyes and a body to match,” she said.
It was learnt that six months after her marriage crashed and she became lonely and isolated, Angela found a friend’s request from Nwachukwu on Facebook, which she accepted. Their conversation progressed rapidly until it culminated in exchange of marital vows. In spite of their age difference and distance between them, it was learnt that CJ popped the ‘will you marry me’ question to the British grandmother via Skype. The couple later wedded in Nigeria and had only seen each other twice because Nwachukwu was denied a tourist visa by the UK immigration authorities on grounds of insufficient financial backing. Mrs. Nwachukwu said she had spent more than £20,000 on the wedding and flights as well as litigation to enforce her husband’s right to visit her in the UK.
Trending on the social media these days are pictures of Nigerian toy boys proudly displaying their marital accomplishments with European and American ladies. In May this year, the story of a young Nigerian man estimated to have got married in his 20s made the rounds, as he celebrated his sixth wedding anniversary with a much older European woman. Although the age of the woman in question was not stated, the photos estimate of the woman’s age could not be less than 40, based on her physical appearance.
The groom, identified simply as Jonny, took to his social media page on May 24 to wish himself and his much older wife, identified as Brenda Skala, a happy sixth wedding anniversary. Tagged: “My special day with a special number #6thanniversary,” Jonny wrote on Instragram, with Brenda also responding, “My dream come true love!” Better than slay mamas. If you have doubts that older European or American ladies could be better than ‘slay mamas,’ ask Muiz Adebiyi, a Nigerian man married to Susan Smith, an older American lady.
“When Adebiyi celebrated the second marriage anniversary of his union with Ms. Smith, not a few Nigerians tonguelashed him, prompting him to respond to the critics via an interview, describing them as ‘haters.’ “While he would not disclose the age difference between him and his wife, he said he was attracted to her because of her calm nature, which made her a better choice than many ‘slay mamas.’ “We had known each other for two years before we decided to get married three years after,” Adebiyi, a footballer and car dealer gleefully announced.
“There were issues, but our family members later understood that age is just a number and that love does not have limit. We are quite in love and happy with ourselves. I never convinced anyone. I got happiness from what I did.” Nigerians are now notorious for doing whatever it takes to go abroad. Apart from marriage scam, Nigerians have found other ways just to get their papers abroad. The high cost of living has made Nigerians to migrate to other parts of the world to start a new life.