March 4, 2015 – Boko Haram Vs The Nigerian Army: Musketeers Meet Masquerades By Samuel Ekekere
The venue of this meet is Baga Stadium, Old Bokoistan in faraway Adamawa North eastern Nigeria. I had to travel by air to report this encounter. I could have being caught in the battle that ensued but I managed to escape unhurt except for some bruises after my plane crashed. As you already are aware, masquerades had taken over quite a huge part of North eastern Nigeria. They are always covered in mask and only reveal themselves when there is a huge explosion. Don’t mind them anyway, that’s the only way we know masquerades exist.
The masquerades have being having a field day till now. O sorry I didn’t give you the prelude to this encounter. Musketeers have being defending champions until some years back when the masquerades appeared from God knows where. They succeeded in buying Sambisa Forest the very huge Training complex that no one could dare replicate and challenge.
No one actually has an idea where or how this guys developed their formation. It’s a really fantastic formation though that has kept them winning many games since they started out. Musketeers had assumed an overconfident mane and they were whipped silly, some of them even had to surrender, the weak ones I mean.
In Barracks stadium where the Musketeers often played their home games, the masquerades often rubbished and made full wreck of the musketeers. Oh, you needed to watch the games played at the Barracks stadium. It was often hilarious to find musketeers running helter after all the massive training they had received from their world renowned coaches in America and Europe and the work experience they had obtained in Liberia, Sierra Leone, Congo, Guinea and recently in Mali.
Anyway, you might have heard that the masquerades have serious owners who know how to spend their money on big players, no one can affirm though but that “Whiteman” said senior Nigerian citizens like the people we already know are owners. And their massive technical adviser Shekau who is another Jesus always rising from the dead once he is announced dead by the Musketeers has proved his onus. Once the musketeers announce a victory song, suddenly, he appears from God knows where and dances on the streets to the delight of his numerous fans.
Fans across the world have being waiting for a major decisive battle between these two sides, Musketeers, the strongest Military force in Africa and Masquerades, Africa’s most daring Militant group. Off course, the ground has suffered and may still suffer, the thousands of Nigerians who have found themselves as shields. No one knows when this grasses will be replaced or returned to their initial position, I mean the over two hundred young ladies who have being given away as brides to fill the thirsty manly souls of the masquerades who want to enjoy heaven before they get to heaven.
So here we gather. Thank God the owner of the musketeer team has accepted that he underrated his enemies the masquerades. I’m sure now; he is ready to put in all his energy and money to ensure his team wins after losing some of his men and stadiums to the masquerades.
Masquerades are said to be supported by a very strong political calculation. Everyone is accusing everyone and nobody has caught anybody yet. Even the neighbors at the other end of the divide have being fingered and it doesn’t seem an easy plot to uncover. But we can manage to overlook them as it seems they have agreed to join camp with the musketeers.
Now I return to what’s happening here in this stadium. The masquerades were in their strongest state against the musketeers who could hardly hold their own. The result was a massive whitewashing of the musketeers.
The musketeers have returned to where they once loosed for a return battle, super-equipped by ravaging Tigers Russia. America the lion wouldn’t offer help but the musketeers aren’t undeterred. If help does not arrive from lions, it will arrive from tigers after all both are cats, superpowers.
Nigerians are watching. They are tired already of the antics of both sides. They had wished it was an all out war all the while but the owner and commander of the musketeers had played it cool assuming that the masquerades were his brothers and sisters, daughters and son, friends and acquaintance. Sadly he was wrong.
Who is going to win? I happened to ask some big wig Nigerians. Let’s watch and see, they tell me. Those who are great at analyzing are already concluding what strategies both sides are and will display. I can tell you with certainty the massive eventful atmosphere here with all the explosive sounds, earth moving vehicles and the earth quaking effects of the explosions. Don’t worry about safety here; it’s the least of our concerns.
The commander of the musketeers has given an all out attack though he is not in the battle ground. He is roaming around Nigeria looking for votes. He has promised to visit once the job is done. But the musketeers are ready to go in one of the deadliest formations I’ve ever seen till date. It is kill to finish. Baga must be taken over and the masquerades must dance to war drums.
Both sides are appearing from the underground dressing room looking deadly. The masquerades are parading themselves with swords on one hand, AK47s on the other, with rocket launchers, and drones supporting their aerial attack dressed in white kaftans as their home attire. The musketeers are also in their traditional away attire as they hope to blend with the environment backed by strong artillery air and land.
Who will win? That’s the question on every body’s lips. Will a victory here by the musketeers mean freedom for the over 200 girls still in masquerade’s custody? You may want to know. What will happen if the masquerades win again? Let me leave the answer to you.
The musketeers are wielding enormous confidence at this time as they have had a good turn of events in the last few games since Masquerades decided to go all out in Maiduguri stadium and lost. Is Sambisa training centre in shambles? No one can tell at the moment, though we’ve heard series of reports with claims that the massive center is in pieces. Report reaching me is that the centre is bubbling as usual with Masquerades strategizing what their next strategy will be.
There is actually no referee for the encounter except international organizations and countries like United State who are hoping war crimes will be committed. Off course, such crimes must be committed in environments like these one so no one is giving a damn about them anyway. It is free for all.
The first explosion has being heard marking the beginning of the rout. Who is going to win? The massive musketeers are taking positions as their air support launches air strikes. Masquerades have disappeared into hiding as usual and are replying massively with anti-jet missiles.
The masquerades are dancing out one by one from their hiding; they seem not to withstand the massive power of the musketeers. The masquerades have being overwhelmed at Baga, Yes they have. Their formation has failed them this time again and now they have to change tactics. The masquerades are fleeing Baga. We are wondering how long they can run before bullets hit them. They are out of Baga!
They are out of Baga!! Masquerades are out of Baga!!! we can’t find them anymore. They have disappeared to hiding again, and Baga is free!
The commander of the Musketeers is arriving Baga any moment from now, yes his helicopter is touching ground as reports. He has finally arrived after all that fear about his incapacity to wipe the masquerades out. He is shaking the hands of his boys and saying Keep it up! Keep it up!
We thought the victory is won. The commander isn’t even through with his visit to the war zone. The masquerades are out again with their former defensive strategy. They have arrived Kano, Kaduna, Gombe. Bomb blast again?
[By SAMUEL UFOT EKEKERE, twitter:@naijasoars, www.facebook.com/soarnaija,+2347062809301]