How To Get Along With Difficult Boss Coworkers Who Dislike You
Times are hard and frustration is everywhere. Sometimes your best interest may not appeal to those around you. On top of that, is how to get along with difficult coworkers who dislike you? Before then, it will make sense to understand the concept of difficult people. These are people who make you detest going to work when you remember you will meet them daily. This is important as dealing with a difficult colleague is different from dealing with a subordinate and your superior. It is also a different kettle of fish is you are dealing with how to get along with difficult coworkers who dislike you?
Ideally, conflict is natural in every human relationship and set up. Conflict can also be healthy if you handle it maturely. However, poor management more often than not has caused great havoc in marriages, religious organizations, workplaces, and the nation.
What makes it difficult is when you cannot but work or live with that person. Quitting the job, relocating or merely breaking from the relationship may not be an easy way out or may even complicate other issues. Ironically, in life, you will need the good, the bad, and the ugly to succeed. So it could be a complicated case when you work with someone who hates you. I mean it may be easier if you only have the issue of divergent opinion, but it becomes worrisome if it degenerated into hatred and open confrontation
Nevertheless, there are no new issues or problems in life and getting along with someone who hated you is one of the cases. Please get this understanding that working with difficult people is one mark of your maturity. Also the idea I will be sharing with you is not a quick fix.
Incidentally, no one-size-fits-all in resolving human conflict. However, the following tips will go a long way to quench whatever may have fueled the conflict.
Define the real issue
Most times it will be appropriate to use the word dislike in place of hatred. Sometimes a person just doesn’t want you to be part of his life. I think that is okay because you can’t keep the company of everybody. To dislike you would mean they deliberately don’t want to see you and will be happy to see your downfall. You can’t be everybody’s friend. Another area you ought to know is your expectation that everybody will do things your way may not work.
Identify the causes of hatred
In fire fighting, removing what fuel the fire is germane to winning the battle against the inferno. I want you to settle this in your mind that not everybody will like you. Your best effort may not please everyone. Before jumping into the conclusion that somebody hates you, check your attitudes to others and your work.
Sometime you may be exaggerating the issue. At another time, it will be proper to check if you always have a confrontation with the same person or some other people in the workplace. Apart from the person, is the problem you have with them is related to the work that involves you.
The problem could as well be that of compatibility. If you two are of different emotions and makeup, there are bound to be conflicts. But it becomes toxic when hatred is added.
Most times, hatred stems from an inferiority complex or envy. People who are not sure of their position in the workplace may feel treated by your presence. Another thing that could make a coworker hate you is your progress. Your advancement, good relationship with your boss and fellow workers may be the underlying factor for the hatred. A worker who is not treated fairly will react negatively. If you don’t accept the other person’s view you will always be having a confrontation. If you are demanding too much from a person without a positive correspondence from you may breed hatred. Settling this aspect may be a way of getting along with difficult coworkers who hate you
Seek a private audience with the person
We are limited in understanding ourselves. And there are occasions when we have a misconception about people’s actions and reactions. We may be sincere in our judgment about the person or the situation, but we could be sincerely wrong. The way to resolve this cloudy area is to talk to the person one on one. This allows us to understand the other person’s views and give him a fair judgment. Funny enough, you may the one doing something infuriating him. It could also be a transfer of aggression from something or someone else. The person may equally be passing through some emotional trauma.
However, when you are trying to resolve this issue, you should not be confrontational or be defensive. Try to be patient and attentive. Never try to intrude or puncture his statement, even when you know what he is saying is not correct. Allow him to be through before you present your side of the story. Don’t forget this meeting is not meant to win an argument, but to correct an issue and be reconciled.
The beauty of talking to the person on any conflict is the person may not realize the gravity of what he is doing to you or the system.
Evaluate the situation
The reaction of the person during and after your meeting will show if your earlier discussion is yielding fruit or not. It is this new development that will determine if you need to have a follow-up meeting with the person or not. Has the situation changed? Has it degenerated? Or remain the same.
What determines the next step take is how far you are willing to make peace with the person. This hinged on your personal well being and that of the organization you are both working with.
Bring In A third party
Not every conflict can be resolved easily between two people. Sometimes dealing with difficult coworkers in the workplace who dislike you may require the intervention of a third party. This person, however, must not be someone close to the aggrieved person so the other person can be guaranteed a fair hearing. His job is to make two of you see the reason you must work together peacefully and the negative implication of your resentment to the two of you and the entire system.
Make an official report
Since you are dealing with a difficult person in the office who also hates you, an official report may be needed if you and a coworker had failed to make him reason with you. By telling your boss you preventing a backlash that may occur later in the workplace. This will shield you from blame when the result affects the system.
Avoid the trouble makers
At times, avoiding conflict is not a sign of weakness. It is said, “He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day”. As much a possible avoids the trouble maker. Where possible, give reasons to avoid him or her. You could send files through a third party, excuse yourself from where that person is, make a false phone call, and get busy with something else. In essence, try to ignore him while focusing on other productive issues. It makes sense to walk away or change the topic of discussion. Since you can’t control other people’s emotion, try to place safe and never get involved in the game of argument
Overcome evil with good
Though this may not work in all situations, try to be friendlier to the person when he or does not deserve it. Try and give him a helping hand to show you are different. When your attitude is positive toward a person that is hostile to you, he may have a rethink and change his attitudes toward you as well. In our limited thinking, he might have been behaving irrationally to you think you have something against him. But when you show love, he might reconsider his stand and turn a new leaf. In all situations, go the extra mile with him.
Work on yourself
You have heard the saying “If you don’t like something change it, and if you can’t, live with it. If you meet with a brick wall with these entire trick, then be ready to live with the person, especially if you are not the owner of the work and you cannot sack him. If you can change your work, fine, but if not, control your emotions. Since you cannot control other people’s emotions, then control yours. This is necessary so you don’t get yourself emotionally worked up as this may affect your productivity. In the end, your boss will not accept your poor performance associated with any trouble maker in the workplace.
A note caution!.
In getting along with difficult coworkers who dislike you, expect the worse from them but hope for the best. You may not receive a positive response at the first few attempts. So resolving or dealing with a worker who hates you, you must be ready to go the extra mile.
Since you are the one seeking peace, be ready to pay the price. It is also correct that a similar situation may require a different approach. How far you are ready to make peace will ultimately determine the workability of the suggested idea.