HOW TO BE A GOOD NIGERIAN WIFE & MAKE YOUR NIGERIAN HUSBAND, MAN FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
By NaijaGists.com Relationship Coach
First off, if you are not a Nigerian and you are married or engaged to a Nigerian man, then I must congratulate you. Without any sentiments, Nigerian men are some of the most loveable and caring men in the world. Moreover, it means a lot to the Nigerian man when a non-Nigerian woman captures his heart.
Conversely, Nigerian men can also be belligerent, especially to their wives, as they have been trained by the Nigerian society to demand absolute obedience from their spouses.
Marriage is beautiful and even more beautiful when you get married to the man or your dreams. However, getting married to the same person is becoming more difficult these days as the rate of divorce continues to surge. Hence, there is an urgent need for both husbands and wives to understand each other.
Having said that, it is quite important that you get to know more of what your Nigerian husband expects of you as if you were originally a Nigerian lady. That is where this article comes in; it is to serve as a guide to help non-Nigerian women – specifically Americans – in understanding Nigerian men and their expectations from their wives.
Enough is said already, so we are going to dive straight into the matter and take a look at some ways that you can gain the love of your Nigerian husband.
The following points outlined below are some of the tips that can help you to be a good Nigerian wife
- Don’t be a nagger.
If there’s a list of behaviors or habits that Nigerian men hate in women then nagging should be somewhere around the top. Nigerian men find nagging to be intolerable that it can make them lose their comportment. In most cases of battery in a marriage, nagging has always been the major cause. If you ever want to impress your Nigerian and to make him fall in love with you then, by all means, try not to nag. Instead, try to reason with your spouse in an intelligible manner.
- Learn how to prepare Nigerian meals.
In Nigeria, there is a popular saying that “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” What this means is that if you ever want to gain the love and affection of a Nigerian man, then one of the things you should do is to give him his favorite meal. I will not lie to you, being a Nigerian wife, even when you are a Nigerian woman, can be a difficult task. But once you have the key to the heart of your Nigerian husband – his special food – then you can unlock virtually any part of him.
- Be more of a listener than a talker.
While it is common for women to be the talkers and the men as listeners, it should not be the case in your marriage. When a man talks to his wife about his problems, he is not just doing so for fun or for talking sake, he actually wants your opinion about his problems. So, if you ever desire to win the heart of your Nigerian husband, then you need to follow the Biblical injunction that says, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak.” By so doing you will definitely earn the respect of your husband.
- Respect your husband.
As I previously mentioned in the introduction, the Nigerian society teaches that men are meant to be respected. As such most Nigerian men grow up with this mentality that they demand respect from every woman (except their mothers). They are impressed with the idea that men are supposed to be the breadwinners of their families. So, if you are a pro-feminist, you may need to tone down your feminist ideologies or discard them altogether, for the sake of your marriage. When you respect your husband, it is natural for him to reciprocate by loving you more and treating you like his most priceless jewel.
- Respect your in-laws.
Continuing from the previous point, in addition to respecting your husband, you also need to respect the members of his family. When you get married to a Nigerian man, it is believed that you are getting married not only to him but also to his entire family. In Nigeria, the in-laws are like the Legislative or Parliament of a government. Thus, you need to treat them for what they are: the lawmakers. They can visit your home at any time, unannounced, and can stay for as long as they desire.
- Take proper care of yourself.
Getting married or giving birth shouldn’t necessarily mean that you now have a good reason to become overweight. On the contrary, women should strive to be physically fit after getting married. Nigerian men (at least a percentage of them) desire a woman who will continue to take care of herself and look physically appealing even after child delivery. Note, however, that this doesn’t mean that you should starve yourself or something similar, but maintaining a healthy lifestyle by eating right and engaging in physical activities to remain fit.
- Love him and be open about it.
Loving your husband shouldn’t be just with words or in the bed, showing your affection for him in understanding him and respecting his decisions (if they are reasonable) tells more about your love for him. While most Nigerian men may have been to believe that the expression of their emotions makes them appear as weak, they cannot hide their love for their wives when they are deserving of it.
- Take care of the home.
As the wife of a Nigerian man, you are first and primarily a homemaker. Yes, while the idea of what it means to be a wife may vary across cultures and societies, the Nigerian society requires that a wife takes good care of her home while the husband earns for the family. A good Nigerian wife is considered one who keeps the house clean and organized and treats the husband as a man.
- Your job should not interfere with your duties as a wife.
If you are married to a Nigerian man, then you should ensure that whichever job you get does not make your house suffer for it. When you have kids, the pressure even gets more as you are expected of your husband to take care of your kids, even when you have a job and he doesn’t.
- Learn to compromise.
There is a saying that, “Two captains cannot be on board a ship,” this is also true in marriage. When you are in a discussion with your Nigerian husband and you observe that the discussion may result in a heated argument, it is better to concede and reach a compromise. Doing this will not only save your marriage but will also earn you more respect from your husband.
- You have to learn how to do his laundry.
This is still in line with the awful fact/belief that Nigerian men are superior to women. While this may not be convenient for any woman, it is, however, supported by the Nigerian society, except if you will not be residing in Nigeria. So, if you don’t own a washing machine, now would be an ideal time to purchase one (because you’ll need it).
- Allow him to spend time with friends.
Getting married doesn’t mean that your husband has severed his previous relationships. Being a married doesn’t exempt him from hanging out with his friends as he used to. This particular point is not just restricted to Nigerian men as all men need their space. So, if you want to be a good Nigerian wife, allowing your Nigerian husband some space for his personal life will help you.
- Surprise him occasionally.
While dating or courting can be interesting and enjoyable due to some obvious reasons, the same cannot be said of marriage. This is because of the fact that when two persons get married, they get familiar with each other, and the first love that reigned supreme between them might start to fizzle out. Therefore, you need to bring out your creativity when you get married to a Nigerian man. In such scenarios when it seems like your marriage is becoming boring, try to surprise your spouse by doing something unusual or doing things differently.
This will help to evoke that seemingly fizzling love or romance. Examples of such acts include going out for dinner or preparing him his special meal.
Marrying a Nigerian is a great opportunity to experience the Nigerian culture, but getting your Nigerian husband to fall in love with you and remain loyal after your wedding may seem an uphill task. By reading and following the above tips in this post you will get a good understanding of what Nigerian men look for in their wives and how to meet their expectations.
All being said, you need to apply wisdom in carrying out the tips, and most importantly strive to gain the trust and respect of your husband because without them your husband may not believe your actions.