“My Boyfriend Is Too Nice To My Kids, I’m Afraid He’s Pretending” – Single Mother Of Two With Trust Issues Cries Out For Help

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“My Boyfriend Is Too Nice To My Kids, I’m Afraid He’s Pretending” – Single Mother Of Two With Trust Issues Cries Out For Help

By Gold Myne

I am a single mother of two, never being married… I’ve had a couple of failed relationships that left me indecisive about marriage even when I keep getting suitors month in, month out.

The truth is my two children are for different men, however, I am no longer with these two men. The first man is not even in my child’s life, I cut him off totally because of the unfortunate incidence which led to the pregnancy.
The second man is however very much involved in his child’s life. Takes care of her and loves her. I used to love him but things didn’t work out.

Recently, I met someone else. He wants to marry me. At first, I didn’t believe it was possible for someone to truly want me with all these baggage. Yet I have seen differently with this man. No man, not even the ones I loved with my life ever showed me love this pure.
He’s not after my money, cos I don’t have any.
It’s not the beauty for I’m just passably pretty.

He loves my kids to bits and already wants to adopt my first child, I told him the second child was off limits!
Wonders, I am not even sleeping with him – yet.

Now there is a problem…we were discussing marriage and I told him that I would want to be fully responsible for my children when we marry.
I don’t want him to be involved in any financial responsibility that has to do with them.

When I have his kids, fine… But as for these ones, I will be responsible.
He disagreed and we fought for the first time. According to him, it simply means I do not trust him.
It also means I do not love him.

I tried to make him see my reasons but he is beyond reasoning with me.
“I want all of you… You, your kids, everything that is You” those were his words.

Truth is : I am scared. I have trust issues. My trust has been abused severally. I’m afraid one day he’ll wake up and taunt me with everything.
I’m afraid one day he’ll get tired and that might cause some tension.

I don’t even want the kids to live with us at least for the first year, but he says we all move together from day one.

Please advise me, is there a man out there who would do this without looking back or mocking you at the slightest provocation in future?

I can take care of my kids on my own.
I work hard and I will work more…

He thinks it’s pride, but I’m just scared.

Please talk to me, are my fears baseless?
Should I hold my ground?

Please help… It’s been a tensed week for me trying to decide.
Thank you.

9 thoughts on ““My Boyfriend Is Too Nice To My Kids, I’m Afraid He’s Pretending” – Single Mother Of Two With Trust Issues Cries Out For Help

  1. Don’t allow your insecurity to destroy the self esteem of your kids
    There is nothing wrong in giving him a chance and if you suspect any wrong thing, you then know what to do.
    Just make sure you don’t entrust your kids into his hands 100%

  2. Oya the men in the house fall in here, where is THE HUNTER, METU NYETU, DB, BENCH, ADE EAGLE e.t.c your comments is needed here

  3. Can I ask what your profession is? If you are doctor, be sure that he is in it for your money and reputation.
    If you are a stay at home mom, then he may be in this for real.

  4. Woman I think u have problem. Do you want him to be hostile to your kids
    So what is your problem

  5. It is very possible that the man is real and his intention is pure. But i can tel you one thing from experience. I believe the man wants everything bcus he wants to be sure you aren’t getting back to any of your baby daddies, especially the one who is still in the picture. Because baby father does use kid as a pawn to get back to baby mama if he still loves you even though you not. It is black market.

    I dont blame him for his moves bcus so long as other baby father is there for his child (which is a good thing), you may be having affairs with him which is very true bcus woman are very funny people. But if he takes responsibility one 100%, he has everything against you should in case you start sleeping with either of your baby fathers. This is very possible. If he takes responsibilities, and he sees you with your ex too close, you are inviting problems. It is really up to you woman. I’d take the chance with him if i was you but i will always have plan B that is not detrimental to him or your relationship altogether. I dont understand women opening their legs everywhere. First one is “mistake” and second time too?. I dont pity a bitch, excuse my language. There are many of you out there just like this.

    Women are very funny.

  6. The guy might be for real and he might not, only God sees the heart. Just trust your instincts, be open to love, dont put your children in harms way and always have a Plan B.

  7. The most important thing for you to do first is seeking the face of God through prayers; let God direct your action(s) . Any attempt to do it all alone may result to you regretting ever meeting this man in your life.

  8. Whom can one trust? Deceitful people everywhere. Logical, yet pray and seek for God’s guidance.

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