How To Let Go Of An Ex-Boyfriend Or Ex-Husband You Still Love Once And For All!!!
- Why You Can’t Let Go Of Your Ex And How To Finally Do It!.
I actually have this friend that was always breaking up and making up with her boyfriend. Dude will cheat and break up with her but the moment he comes back on his knees asking for forgiveness, my friend usually has no option but to accept him back. To be honest, I found it frustrating. I always wondered why it was too difficult for her to let go of a guy that was always hurting her. I mean, it wasn’t worth it. Just like my friend, there is no doubt that there are some girls out there who find themselves in similar situations, you know he is a douche bag but you still love him and can’t imagine your life without him but the truth is, you are better off without him.
Insanity is when you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Going back to your ex expecting a change is more like a dog returning to his vomit.
I know it’s difficult and most times unimaginable but you have to cut him off; you deserve better and here are the ways you can actually cut him off:
- Unfriend and block him on social media.
When you still have them as friends on social media like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, WhatsApp; you keep viewing their latest pictures and status. More like you are stalking them which isn’t an advisable way to move on. You want to move on then ditch stalking them on social media and the best way you can stop stalking them is by unfriending and using the block button on them. That way, it will be easier for you to move on.
- Having a rebound is totally off limits.
Most times, after a breakup the next thing we do is to find a rebound guy. Having a rebound isn’t as fun as it sounds because we try to suppress the fact that we still love our ex. We try to hide our feelings which turns into a roller-coaster on the long run. There is no harm admitting to yourself that you are still in love with your ex. It is only by acknowledging your love for him that you will be able to tell yourself, “Yes, I love him but I deserve better”.
- Don’t compare your ex with the new people you will meet.
You see, my friend always gave the excuse that she can’t love any other guy the way she loves her cheating ass boyfriend which is why she keeps going back. She goes about comparing the new guys she meets with her ex-boyfriend. “He is not sensitive but my boyfriend is sensitive; he doesn’t wear gold chains but my boyfriend does”, Truth is, we have to acknowledge the fact that people differ. Everyone is different and unique in their own way so don’t go about comparing your ex-boyfriend or husband with the new guys you will meet in future. Everyone has their strength and flaws.
- Get rid of everything that reminds you of him.
He got you a wristwatch on your 21st birthday? Get rid of it. He got you a bracelet? Get rid of it. This is not you going extreme because each time you put on the bracelet or wrist watch, the memories come flying back and before you know what is happening you are trying every possible way to get in touch with him again.
- Don’t harbour the hope that you can fix the relationship.
You can’t change your ex-boyfriend or husband! That’s a fact that have to stick to our memory. You can’t change anyone which means no matter how many times you guys broke up and got back together, the relationship will always be the same. Remember, “As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly”. You are not a relationship fixer; get up, dust your butt and move on.
- Cry as much as you can.
Don’t hold back the tears, let it flow. It doesn’t make you weak. Cry as much as possible if it will make you feel better. Let out the feelings. Cry because it hurts; cry because it is also a healing process. Admitting that you are hurt will help you move on faster.
Relationships leaves us with many lessons. It gives you an insight of how compassionate and selfless you can be and truth is, you will never have the chance to make use of those lessons if you keep going back to your ex. So, let go no matter how difficult it is. You are beautiful; you are smart; you are unique; someone better is on his way.
For more relationship advice and free counselling, visit NaijaGists.com Relationship column.