Oct 18, 2014 – Nigerian Pastor Bolaji Idowu Lists Common Marriage Problems & Solutions, Warns Couples About Sex
Bolaji Idowu, a senior Pastor at HICC (Harvesters Int’l Christian Center) in Lagos took to Twitter few hours ago to discuss common issues that cause friction between married couples and how to deal with them.
Check out his quality advise below:
Good evening,welcome to Today’s episode of This will be insightful do remember to invite a friend to follow the conversation. Last week we started a discussion of major causes of dispute in relationships and marriages and how to deal with them. Let me start by saying Marrying the right person ALONE doesn’t make your marriage”Trouble proof” It is a component other things.
Every marriage that works is worked at your understanding of what makes relationship works/ doing them is what makes it work.
The Truth is all the things that “shacks”about marriage will be “over” in the first 2 years except you cultivate your soulmate. You must make it of the highest importance to cultivate intimacy,bond, and oneness in your relationship this reduces friction
One common misconceptions in marriages today is that fighting is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
But is it? But is it? Is a healthy marriage really one completely absent of conflict? I don’t think so.
Another cause of Fight in marriage is SEX! The frequency,quality,are all common sources of stress and disharmony in a marriage. And what makes it worse is that we don’t talk about it! I can feel someone cringing at the idea of Talking about sex.
A man has certain sexual expectation of his wife but can’t tell her because he is afraid of the questions/consequences. Most couples find it difficult discussing sex and even cringe at the idea of a woman initiating sex. Sex, is what single people think about and when they get married they hardly talk about it and causes major conflict.
A woman wants her husband to touch her in certain ways but can’t talk about it out of fear of being questioned/misinterpreted. Wife tells husband “This is where i love you touching me” Husband goes “Who has been touching you like that”.When the conversation goes like this it shuts down the partner and eventually affects the sex in the marriage. Let me reiterate that what causes major fight in marriage are the things we don’t talk about/ unmet expectations. So the key to resolving/maintaining sustaining love in relationship and marriages is EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
You can NEVER Over communicate.Communication must be an integral part of our relationships Talk about EVERYTHING. One way to keep”sexual grievances” down is by Talking about it.Even though we shy away/cring from such topics
It’s a conversation that’s critically important to aligning your libidos and minimizing your conflicts.
So TALK about it
When the time is right,you both relaxed & not distracted,ask each other to explain when you feel most eager to head to bed. Let out your fears,concerns Expectations where sex is concerned and how your spouse can help you better the situation.
Plan,plan,not just at night when everyone is tired,make out time.When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation
Learn what truly turns you and your partner on by each of you coming up with a personal “Sexy List”
Swap the lists use them to create more scenarios that turn you both on.Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun too
A lot of men have fantasies they can’t fulfil with their wives practising this healthy communication help reduce friction
[By Pastor Bolaji Idowu @pastorbolaji on Twitter]