Relationships & Romance Articles
My Wife Is Verbally Abusive And Controlling, Staying Under The Same Roof With Her Is Hell
By Gold Myne TV
It is common for women to tell their stories of abuse by their husbands but rare for men in similar situation to tell their own stories, but I am tired, depressed, suicidal and I think I should just tell my story.
I got married four years ago at the age of 32, six years after graduating. Employment didn’t come immediately, but I was able to put some money together and start a little business.
My business boomed as fate would have it and I also got a well paying job. I decided to marry and I married this lady six months after I met her.
Two years into the marriage, I lost everything. Everything.
My job, my business and all my savings gradually went
For two years, I have tried to get another job to no avail, I couldn’t sit idle, so I did every menial job I could find. Name that menial job, I have done it.
Then I saw my wife, the real her.
On days when there is nothing for me to attend to on the site, my wife makes sure I am never idle. She deliberately litters the house and reminds me that the house will not clean itself, meaning I should clean it up.
She makes me wash the dishes, then graduated to making me the house cook. I bathe our two kids, do the laundry and every house chore.
On days when there is a job waiting for me outside, I still return home to most of the chores. According to her, she is the breadwinner she can’t also be the slave, so I should choose one…
For a very long time, I did not complain, I saw reasons with her, even respected her until she became really abusive.
She accompanies every errand with an insult, she blasts me if I add meat to my food, she wakes me up with slaps. She curses me at will.
I told her to let me take the kids to my family so she wouldn’t have to spend her money, she refused… I travelled to stay with my brother, she said I wanted to kill her with too much stress, working and taking care of the kids. She called one day to say our first child had died! I rushed back, it was a lie!
Staying under the same roof with her is hell, I cannot steal and I still haven’t found a job! When I say ‘No’ to an errand, no food for me! I can’t remember the last time we related well.
I am tired.
Keep it real
April 17, 2018 at 4:29 PM
I think this is just a random write up because no man will stay and go through that under his wife.
I wouldn’t period!
Stevie J
April 17, 2018 at 5:39 PM
I feel like crying for you
Big Aunty Koks
April 17, 2018 at 6:14 PM
Men are generally shy of admitting their spouses abuse them, but abuse of husbands by their wives do happen. There are bullies in both the male and female gender. If you go through such, get out of that environment. It is not good for your health and if you die of hypertension caused by an abusive spouse it will do nobody any good.
A super bread winner should be able to hire a house keeper and add to the feeling of self importance so when this phase of your marriage is referred to in future that feat is added to her achievements. One thing is sure, improvement in your circumstances will come. I pray it comes soon.. Just hold out.
Ama
April 17, 2018 at 7:09 PM
It is very common for a woman to talk about domestic violence or abuse, because generally, our men have been taught that men don’t cry, and as a man you need to be a man, but one thing we tend to forget is that, men are men and they are human beings with the same feelings. A lot of men are in abusive relationships but so ashamed to talk or discuss it with family, friends and colleagues and even in the church, because they think people will think less of them. This is a sad story and believe me I will believe whatever this writer is saying. If you have not been there, don’t judge or think you will walk away. Yes some men walk away, yet there are some who think society might see them as a failure or weakling. Even if it she is the breadwinner, that does not warrant her to treat you the way she is. She should “what if it is her brother and someone treating her that way”. All the same, continue to trust in God until you find something to do, meanwhile, as you said, you are doing menial jobs to take care of some of the things in the house, continue, if you feel like crying, cry to let off some of the pain, anguish, otherwise you become depressed and that will not be good for your health and even for the children. I pray God change the heart of this woman.
uzom
April 17, 2018 at 7:47 PM
There are many women like this woman and it is this type that will turn around to beg you to accept her back when you make it big. Investigate her thoroughly you will be surprised she is dating another man outside. By saying you cannot remember the last time you both related well, she is messing with another man outside probably a money bag (politician) or yahoo boys.
fifelomo
April 17, 2018 at 9:08 PM
Oooops, this makes me cry.
Sweet Chy
April 18, 2018 at 9:27 AM
Poster, please both of you should see a counselor. Also, i see some negative points you made of her to make her seem bad stating that you lost everything two years after you met her. Do you think any human being will feel good hearing she’s the cause of your failure?
This is one of those challenges of marriage as things will continue to change either positively or negatively. I believe she wasn’t this bad and you went ahead to marry her. The pressure is so much on her, providing for the children and you which wasn’t the way it were at the beginning and that is why she’s letting them out her own way. Though in a very wrong and harsh manner.
Sit her down and talk things out while at it still get your hands on other things. That way peace will reign.
Jilo
April 18, 2018 at 11:56 AM
One life to live! if you are going through this everyday, you better think about separation instead of living in a bondage. You may not necessarily divorce her but pending the time you are going to get yourself together, you can temporarily hang around your brother or relatives to calm the tension. Abuse comes from both sides and in a situation where a woman is the bread winner, this is a big problem.
The abuse may not go away until there is a change in your standard of living. Again, you have to think about whether you want to save your health or you want stay the course. If you are having problem to go back to your family after hustling all day long, then there is no point staying together. This may cause an irreparable damage to your health and guess what! when you die, God forbids, this woman will marry another man but not all women are like that. I have seen some women who never let finance become part of problem in their household.