How Do I Get Over My Husband Cheating On Me??
Okay, I know I may not be married because I am still in that constant search of a better half to walk down the aisle with me but one thing I know for sure is that nobody gets married so they can get a divorce when their husband chooses infidelity over faithfulness. But the truth is, these things happen. In our society today, the rate at which people divorce is way too high. I mean gone are the days when our mothers will stick with their unfaithful husbands just because they think it’s their duty to be a good wife and a good wife is supposed to stick with her husband through thick and thin; for better or worse. You know the funny thing, when couples recite their marriage vows at the altar; they never get to say, “I will be with you in faithfulness and in infidelity”.
Unlike our mothers who would stick with their cheating husbands, most ladies these days don’t take their shit. Cheat on them and they are filling divorce immediately. For them, the broken bonds and breach of trust are irreplaceable.
Just like relationships, moving on from your marriage will not be easy. Divorce is usually messy. Imagine someone you trusted with your love and vagina messing around behind your back and out of anger and disappointment, you call it quits, it will be very difficult to get over that your cheating husband. But then, there are many ways you can ease the pain and make the process a healthy and productive one.
Sit tight and scroll down to read the ways you can get over your cheating husband.
- Get over the fact that the marriage is over;
Yes I know you guys had a great past and looked forward to the beautiful future you have set out for yourselves but you have to get over the fact that it is all over. Stop thinking about your wedding night; how he made all the promises that got you blushing and thanking God for giving you a great man like him; take off your wedding rings; stop going through your wedding pictures pulling back memories; stop investing so much emotions in the past and get over it. The more you hold on to the past, the more it’s negative vibes sips in to your present and future.
- Do yourself a huge favour and allow yourself to feel.
Yes, I know you want to act all mature and shove the pain aside. I know you don’t want his cheating ass to see how much pain you are feeling but have it at the back of your mind that you cannot heal from what you are constantly shoving aside. If you want to cry, please cry as much as you can, act crazy, lash out, let the emotions flow through you. Don’t hold any of them back. Feel the pain and dive into it. If you keep shoving it aside, it wouldn’t go away.
- Channel your energy into something that it more productive.
I know it is okay to cry and wallow in pains but you don’t have to keep swimming in the river of pains for a long time. Know when you have grieved enough and channel whatever negative energy you are feeling to something more productive. It could be your children; it could be your career; it could be self improvement. Know that it is time to accept yourself completely – all that you are and are not. You can decide to spend time alone happily reading, listening to music or just meditating. But then, if you have children to cater for, don’t neglect them. That would be selfish of you.
- Learn to express yourself to friends who can easily understand you;
Don’t let it all in; don’t keep mute about your feelings; spill them out. You could decide to talk to your friends who actually understand you. It helps a whole lot when you are about to spill your feelings to someone. It is actually part of the healing process. I understand that the feelings can be overwhelming at times that you have no idea how to share them, I would suggest that you get yourself a good coach or therapist that can help you outsource your anger and frustration. He or she knows how to get you talking and will listen to you tell the story of how your husband was an asshole to have cheated on you. And along the way, through their guidance, you will be able to move on.
- It is pointless, staying angry for a long time;
There is this popular saying that goes like this, “Staying angry is like taking poison and hoping that the other person dies”. Yes I know you must have heard this quite a lot but there is so much truth in it. It is a popular adage that is worth repeating. I understand that you have every right to be mad at home but for how long? Do you understand that the more you stay angry at him, the more you will be unable to move on? So at a point you just have to let go of all the pains and hatred and tell yourself that their infidelity is about them, not you and you are perfectly capable of a having a fabulous trusting relationship.
- Don’t try to compare yourself with the mistress;
No, you don’t have to push that far. I know it’s tempting to do but don’t. There is no need comparing yourself to the mistress; it wouldn’t make you move on faster, it will only make you feel worse. It could feel good scrolling through their pictures on Facebook and Instagram, listing reasons why Satan should reserve a seat for them in hell but doing that could end up giving you an outlet for your anger. And no matter how much we try to hide it, there are huge chances that you might end up asking yourself, “But what did he see in her that he didn’t see in me?” Answering that question will totally stop you from moving on.
With these tips above, I hope you find the strength and boldness to move on from your cheating husband.