Relationships & Romance
“I Love My Ex Boyfriend More Than My Fiancee” – Confused Bride-To-Be Confesses
By Gold Myne
I’m at crossroads as my love story has become a triangle.
I have been engaged for five months, in fact the wedding preparation had to be stopped because my fiance had to travel abroad on assignment. He’s been away for three months and he’ll be back soon.
However, since he left three months ago, I realized a lot of things. The greatest thing I realized is, I do not love him as much as I thought I did.
When he left, I thought I wouldn’t be able to live that long without him, but I did and surprisingly, I barely missed him.
The kind of relationship I want is one that when my partner is away, it’s like my ribs are torn from my body.
Before I met him eight months ago, I had been in a relationship with another guy for four years, I gave my fiance a chance because I wasn’t seeing green light from my ‘ex’ I didn’t see him proposing anytime soon and I am 32!
Now I’m engaged but I’m not sure I want to go ahead with the marriage…
At the same time I’m battling with this dilemma, the man I thought would never propose is all over me and I know he’s up to something.
Alex is still in Switzerland, three weeks more before he returns, I think I should break up with him over the phone, so he has time to process it before returning.
I love the other guy more…or am I just confused.
I’d appreciate if I’m not bashed. I just need some cool advise.
Busuyi Israel
April 24, 2018 at 9:47 PM
U are a murderer ask me why I call u one
When u are now sure why did u accept his proposal.
God will punish u if u break his heart. U better stay now if u don’t want the wrath of God to fall on u
Kingsley Ogubor
April 24, 2018 at 9:50 PM
Why are you cursing her, are u going to stay in the marriage with her.
Funke
April 25, 2018 at 12:11 PM
I feel you on that… “re u gonna stay in the marriage with her” Powerful statement!
Funke
April 25, 2018 at 12:13 AM
You’re funny ooo!
fifelomo
April 25, 2018 at 12:35 PM
@Busuyi wetin happen now? Advice, don’t curse her pls.
stephnienwasike
April 24, 2018 at 10:45 PM
my dear, try and find a space in ur heart to love him i.e de second guy.
Danti
April 25, 2018 at 12:00 AM
Girl, I am not going to attack you the way Liverpool FC attack their prey. But based on my observation, sex is not everything oh girl! Ask yourself, is your ex-knacker(boyfriend) serious enough to consider proposing to you? When you left him for the one that seems serious was he dying to see you? Psychologically, you have created a problem for yourself, at your age you should have settled down. You have created a standard or barrier that if no one matches, your ex will be the solution. With this attitude, you will cheat in either way because of the barrier that has already embedded in you. Finally, go and learn what fiancé and game boy are which ever befits you at this age, go for it with all your strength
fifelomo
April 25, 2018 at 12:37 PM
@Danti, tanx for cracking me up.
Funke
April 25, 2018 at 12:21 AM
My take on these…Is for you to follow your heart…If you rush in… You’ll rush out… If you finds happiness with your ex, then go back to him! Or marry your boyfriend and be miserable for the rest of your life! The decision making is up to u!
Keep it real
April 25, 2018 at 3:11 AM
we can only chip in some advice but at the end you have the final decision.. you’re 32 years that sounds like you have spent a lots of Christmas put that in your head. if the Alex guy is genuine in getting married to you and not to use you as a punching bag after the marriage then go ahead with the marriage I believe as time goes on you would find way to love him (Alex) but if you just want to be a girlfriend to the other guy for another 8 years, meaning another 8 Christmas taking you to 40 years by then you would understand clearly the difference between the two guys.
let God help you to see the difference right now is my prayers. God luck in your decisions.
fifelomo
April 25, 2018 at 12:38 PM
Keep it real I love ya comment.
Metu Nyetu
April 25, 2018 at 6:28 AM
KEEPING IT REAL, I LOVE your comment. Danti, you funny die. Liverpool FC is now a soccer terrorism outfit. I am beginning to think this season’s cup is theirs. I hope to God that Arsenal does same in Europa; can’t wait to have them back to Champions League.
BACK TO THE MATTER, MISS, YOU ARE in one difficult position now. Take time to think before you make a hasty, brash decision here. The guy you’ve known for years, how genuinely do you think he loves you? What do you think is keeping him from proposing to you? I honestly think that at 32, you wouldn’t want anybody wasting your time anymore, or keeping your heart guessing any longer. And so, if this guy has not defined his relationship with you up until now, QUIT! And be BOLD with that!
OUR EMOTIONS LIE to us sometimes. You may feel with this guy, your happiness rests assured. But it could turn out the other way round at last. Don’t let this guy turn around at last and tell you that you are too old for him. Something is telling me that the age difference between the both of you is not much, or maybe the Alex of a guy is older, and more mature, than this ex of yours. I may be wrong, though. And age may not really matter, but sometimes, it does.
AND, ABOUT ALEX, IS he really serious with you? Do you think he would not handle you roughly? If you would be safe in his hands, then I’d say, Go with him! Your heart may not vibrate that way for him now, but once he is a nice guy, you’re likely to bond with him as time goes on. Ask some elderly women, and they would tell you that they were not crazy in love when they first got married to their husbands. It is better to start with just a liking, and then grow in love, than to have a fiery love that dies down after 3 or 4 years in marriage.
THINK ABOUT IT. AND PRAY as well.
Dare Nket
April 25, 2018 at 8:06 AM
On point @metu
fifelomo
April 25, 2018 at 12:39 PM
@Metu may God grants unto u more knowledge.
boer
April 25, 2018 at 7:59 AM
you are a fool!
prince
April 25, 2018 at 8:25 AM
My dear, i am joing my colleagues to advise you as a sister, Marriage is something that needs patience, endurance, torrorance and pesivirance, all these things build up a happy home, for get about your ex-boy friend, he is just coming to make you sex machine again, what shows you he is up to something now, after you left him and estabilish another relationship, is he aware of your new man, please my dear sisiter, go ahead and marry Alex that is marured, ready and willing to carry you along, dont make this mistake because time no dey.
DB
April 25, 2018 at 8:39 AM
What is it with ladies loving men that dont love them and still trying to hold on to them? I know and you know that your ex does not love you enough to marry you and that was the obvious reason you left him. If you release yourself to the will of your village people to destroy you, good luck to you. The presence of your ex in your life after your fiance travelled is like Satan telling you to jump from a cliff so he can give you the whole world. You know the truth but you just want to live in denial. You better cut off from whatever madness attracting you to your ex and live a realistic life
uzoma
April 25, 2018 at 12:44 PM
I agree with Prince. Your ex-boyfriend is aware you are now engaged to someone else and that is why he is now all over you. His intention is not genuine. He will make you break off your engagement to Alex with promises he will marry you but in the long run he will dump you and blame you for breaking his heart for leaving him for another guy (Alex). By then it will be too late as Alex must have counted his losses and moved on. It is better for you to let Alex know that you do not love him as much as you love your ex-boyfriend so he can look for another woman to marry. It is obvious that if you marry Alex you will surely cheat on him with your ex-boyfriend.
fifelomo
April 25, 2018 at 12:48 PM
Dear writer, your issue is interwoven. I will advice you take your time before making any decision. A bad relationship is better than a bad marriage. Think twice and learn to study who really has your MUMU BUTTON, someone who will appreciate you for the rest of your life his adviceable, someone who’s got your back. A word is enough for the wise.
Jilo
April 25, 2018 at 12:57 PM
Most of the time women love to clinch to the man they love most but love is not on the same pedestal between two people. From the above narration, it seems you love your ex more than your fiancée the way I perceive it because your ex is your old timer, you have spent much time with him and you think he is your ideal guy but guess what! he is not in the same level of love with you. You love him 95% and he is reciprocating 25%. This is a red flag for you if you go on marriage with him because he will get stuck loving you the way you want to be loved.
As per your fiancée I guess he has better grade of 65% love for you while you giving him back 35%. My advise for you is to go for who loved you most. That is the only way you can be comfortable in marriage. When you get married to your fiancée, your feeling for your ex will be shifted to this man and you will learn how to love him better. It is normal to feel that way but it is always a wrong choice when it comes to marriage decision. Just because you are having a good time with your ex does not necessarily mean he is right for you to marry. what shall it profit you if you divert your attention on your ex and nothing comes out of it? sit down and think because this is a life time contract. Once you make that mistake, it will be hard for you to catch up again.
MADAM ERANKO
April 25, 2018 at 6:40 PM
LIFE IS VERY DANGEROUS BEHIND CLOSED DOOR WHEN YOU DUMP SOMEONE AND GO FOR SOMEONE ELSE ,
BECAUSE PEOPLE DO A LOT OF EVIL AND THEY WOULD NOT LET YOU BE, TO MOVE FORWARD OR WANT TO HEAR GOOD NEWS FROM YOU .
ONCE YOU DUMP SOME PEOPLE AND GO FOR SOMEONE ELSE , THEY WOULD GO TO DO VOODOO TO MAKE YOU THINK OF THEM , SO THAT YOU CAN RUN BACK TO THEM , SO , YOU NEED TO BE VERY CAREFUL,
THE MIND IS A LIAR, SO LEARN TO BE ABLE TO CONTROL YOUR MIND,
YOUR EXBOYFRIEND MAY HAVE GONE TO HYPNOTISE YOU TO THINK OF HIM ALL THE TIME SO THAT YOU CAN DO AWAY FROM YOUR FIANCEE. BE VERY CAREFUL.
mimia
April 26, 2018 at 5:20 AM
pefect advice u said my mind,madam eranko,if d first man love her why cant he marry her since,girl be careful dont break d 2nd man heart,d ist man might not love u just pretending.Hope this help
uzoma
April 26, 2018 at 1:00 PM
If you do not buy to any of the advise given you by readers, go ahead and disappoint your fiancée and marry your ex-boyfriend. But, if he fails to marry you and by then you must have broken the heart of your fiancée and he has moved on, look for your ex and shoot him dead.
Majid
August 8, 2018 at 6:25 PM
At her Age, she was still confused?