My Daughters In Their Late 30s Not Thinking Marriage, How Do I Convince Them To Marry?

daughters not interested in marriage

September 25, 2016 – My Daughters In Their Late 30s Are Not Interested In Marriage, How Can I Convince Them To Marry?

I’m very concerned because two of my daughters who are in their late 30s are still single and my oldest daughter will be 40 years next year. It seems like a very worrying trend and I’m noticing friends, relatives, and neighbours whose kids are matured enough to get married yet they are single or divorced.

What is really happening to our society these days? I really want to become a grandmother but it looks as if my daughters are not even worried about their singlehood. How do I solve this problem?

Madam Regina Okoye writes from Awka in Anambra State

18 thoughts on “My Daughters In Their Late 30s Not Thinking Marriage, How Do I Convince Them To Marry?

  1. Madam, in fact, where were you when they hit late 20s? Clearly, you are responsible for their rottenness. There is nothing fresh about them at these age, these adult/elderly children must prepare for consequences that come with foolishness.

  2. This is not ordinary,spiritual husbands must have a hand on your daughters, madam okoye Because from what I have seen happning in the churches where they do genuine deliverances you see them manifest.

  3. Medically, it is not adviceable to attain the age of 40 and above before getting married and having children. There is a considerable and increased risk of health problem associated with pregnancy at age 40 and above. There is high risks of potentially deadly complication during pregnancy and child birth during this age. In fact Medical doctors disclosed that the risk associated with pregnancy increase at age 35. This risk include [genetic disorder,stillbirth,miscarriage,high blood pressure among others]. After age 35 the risk increases even more! Madam am not trying to scare you with all am saying but its simply the reality.

    This is what prompt Marriage therapists to advice that the best time to give birth to children is during late 20s and early 30s.

    Though it is not entirely bad to marry at 40 and beyond. Why? Because during this years such woman would have had a wealth of experience in life that will eventually make her a better parent.

    But considering the health risk during pregnancy and child delivery involved, any reasonable woman would want to marry on time.

    Advice your daughters and hammer mostly on the risk part of having baby during this age.

    We don’t have to wait for that rich and perfect guy or for that handsome and cute guy before getting married. Many couples got married when they had nothing and with time they start making it in life. Marrying a handsome and rich man is not a yardstick that our marriage to such person will succeed!

    Your children should stop getting their ears tickled and get it open and accept counsel so that they can join the group of motherhood on time.

    @danti. I don’t think this woman is responsible for her daughters lateness in getting married. Do you want this woman to make a whipping rope and start flogging her daughters to marry by force when they were still in their late 20s? A good parent will not do that to any of her children.
    The only thing a parent can do at such time is to advice her daughters on why it is good to get marry early. Forcing them to take a step of marriage they ill-prepared for,will most likely make them end up in making wrong choice of partner in life. And by the time they start bearing the brunt of their wrong choice,you as a parent will not be their. Hence this woman is not to be blame. Let’s give her advice she requested for and not blaming her.

  4. HABA! DANTI, HAVE you lost touch with reality?

    MADAM ABEG NO MIND am! I want to believe that your daughters are worried about their status. But they won’t force themselves on men. First, try to find out what their tastes of men are. Are their eyes set on rich men? Also, are they homely? Bad manners could drive prospective spouses away—of course you should know this one.

    AFTER CHECKING, and they satisfy your questions, then it could be as Keeping It Real said—spiritual. You have to wake up spiritually. Pray hard—harder—if you have not been praying. Commit your ways to God. Make a sacrifice that would put God on a hot seat—I mean a sacrifice that costs you so much. Then wait and see God’s move!

    BUT AGAIN, I WON’T deny that I also noticed the increase in single adults—men and women alike—who should have settled down. D Hunter is a testimonial here. Maybe things are getting harder for guys these days, or women are looking for what the guys do not have.

    WISHING you the very best.

  5. Go on your knees, hold vigil, cos a prayer back up by faith moves the Hands that moves the Universe. In fact, fast and pray then try talk to them and know what the problem is.
    Best of luck.

    I take a stroll…

  6. Mrs Okoye, Hope you understand that this is a modern generation Girls/Ladies. You should stop worrying yourself about those that are not worried about themselves. They should search their conscience, Greed could contribute, + stuffs like abortions could be part of the repercussions!! Sorry Madam Okoye, You are not the only one in this kind of situation! it counts in millions in IGBO land!

  7. No @Danti, don’t look at it that way. This far more than what you think. There’s a problem, I mean its nt ordinary. Where’s their father? Madam have you ever noticed if they once had relationship’s? If not then its a critical one. If they have ever had, then find what causes misunderstanding between them……madam you have a lot to do.

  8. spiritual spiritual spiritual why is that word echoing everywhere? we don’t have to always see things that way. most times we are the physical architect of our own doom.
    @fifelomo you mentioned a very rigid point. where truly is their father (divorced?).. like it is popularly quoted that charity begins at home the children we are talking about here are no more kids maybe they’ve experienced something terrible in their home making them scared of getting marriage.. there are so many cases like that where ladies refuse to marry due to what they’ve witnessed in their homes.

    Ma have you ever questioned them on the reasons why they’ve decided to be single or are you just concerned about getting grandchildren.. no matter how old they are they are still your children find time to sort things out with them and question them so as to know the next step to take.

    i also as a Christian subscribe to the fact that you should pray about this issue or betterstill like one of our commentator here we say “since they are scared of marriage why don’t they get pregnant” become a single before it too late (though i hate seeing things like that) because it far better than going back the way they came without any impact.

    #clueless human
    #IT_CAN_ONLY_GET_BETTER

  9. @ Metu, how do you mean, I am a testimonial here? Do you even know how old I am?

    All I know is that, Marriage is one of the most complex union on Earth. It requires so many things and maturity hence the holistic preparations before one hits the Altar.

    I stroll off…

  10. Madam Okoye, I don’t believe your daughter’s inability to marry on time is due to spiritual or requires deliverance. What is happening about late marriage is globally and some of these problems have been highlighted by a renown English Economist Reverend Thomas Malthus who wrote an essay citing British population in 1776.

    Let us start with Mathusian theory, from this man’s theory, Nigeria population is growing geometrically while food production is growing Arithmetically. The population cannot match the food production unless we take the following steps, marring later, having fewer children, engage in Agriculture for more food production. Most Nigerian men now prefer to go for Olosho rather than marring a woman who will make them spend their fortune. How can you encourage a man who has no job to go and marry? it is not because they don’t want to but how can they support their wives if they don’t have job? this where economy factor came in. Most of these young women will keep on waiting and waiting until they are over-age to marry.

    Second hard fact is the Population; women population are more than men. It will take a tough competition for most women to find a man of her choice when a man had selected a woman whom he thinks match his requirement in beauty, education, presentation while those that couldn’t meet these criteria will remain single for a long period of time. Recently, I overheard a young girl responding to her mother to leave her alone not to force her to have boyfriend. She said, you told me to go to church in order to find a good and responsible husband but she couldn’t find one. It is either these boys are engage, having fiancée or not even interested. You cannot force women on men vice versa.

    Fellow forumites, let us not make that mistake that the problem marrying later is spiritual rather economy, financial and environmental factors. Gone are those days when men were the ones making the money and women sit at home to raise the kids. Now it is other way round. Women are now getting higher paid job than their male counterparts. This has brought a lot of resentment among many of our men. I believe lack of jobs by millions of Nigeria men contributed to this incident. We need to observe about our environment first and look at what is happening before we decide whether that the problem is spiritual.

    If we want our daughters to remain married. Most parents must be able to accept and support anyone that their daughter presents as their husband. We should then be ready to support them morally and financially. This is what some parents do not want to do. We appreciate when our in law is capable financially but in a situation where the would be husband does not even have a job, what do we do?.

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