I’m Dating My Co-Worker, Should I Tell My Boss?

  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

dating my co worker

September 25, 2016 – I’m Dating My Co-Worker, Should I Tell My Boss?

I’ve always felt office romances were a bad idea and only led to messy situations instead of professionalism, but a co-worker and I have started seeing each other romantically.

We both have respect for one another and thankfully don’t get on the other’s nerves -even though we see each other at work and after work.

Should we inform our company that we are seeing each other? Do you have any advice for handling office relationships?

Mary Jane writes from Idumota Lagos

9 thoughts on “I’m Dating My Co-Worker, Should I Tell My Boss?

  1. In my opinion,it depends. Though I do not know how long both of you have been in the romantic relationship but what I personally think should determine when to inform your company about your relationship is when you are both close to engaging in an introduction that will involve both families.

    Staff members in the company including your supervisor or your manager will most likely respect your seeing each other either in the Company or elsewhere when they observe a signal that both of you are in a relationship that is serious and has already draw the attention of both families.

    So if your romantic relationship has not gotten to that extent,I will advice you not to inform your company yet until it is ripe to do so. For me,I will keep such a romantic relationship secret until we invite them someday for our introduction. This action will most likely command respect in a company rather than informing them while our romantic relationship is still relatively young.

    Office romance is not a bad idea at all if it is kept under control. And to achieve this,both of you have to minimize your togetherness in the company. You have to put your sparking love under control while at work. Meet each other in your respective home. Get to know each other’s family.

    This is the type of seriousness the company wants to see and hear about you before your relationship will be valued by them. If it is just a starting relationship, my candid advice is keep it secrete for now.

    But if the romantic relationship has worn those requirements I stated above,then do not hesitate to inform your company.

  2. Little adjustment to my
    Earlier comment

    In my opinion,it depends. Though I do not know how long both of you have been in the romantic relationship but what I personally think should determine when to inform your boss about your relationship is when you are both close to engaging in an introduction that will involve both families.

    Staff members in the company including your supervisor or your boss will most likely respect your seeing each other either in the Company or elsewhere when they observe a signal that both of you are in a relationship that is serious and has already draw the attention of both families.

    So if your romantic relationship has not gotten to that extent,I will advice you not to inform your boss yet until it is ripe to do so. For me,I will keep such a romantic relationship secret until we invite him someday to our marriage introduction. This action will most likely command respect in a company rather than informing your boss while your romantic relationship with your man is still relatively young.

    Office romance or dating a co-worker is not a bad idea at all if it is kept under control or done in a mature way. And to achieve such honorable courtship done in secrecy,both of you have to minimize your togetherness in the company. You have to put your sparking love under sufficient control while at work. Meet each other in your respective homes. Get to know each other’s family.

    This is the type of seriousness your boss wants to see and hear about you before your relationship will be valued by him.

    If it is just a starting relationship, my candid advice for you is,KEEP IT SECRET FOR NOW.

    But if the romantic relationship has worn those requirements I stated above,then do not hesitate to inform your boss.

  3. What are your motives? Are you guys thinking marriage or what? If its for marriage, then I think its ok. Cos, you can never know where you gono meet your Mr. Right.

    People meet their Mr. Right in the Church, School, Market, Place of work, anywhere.
    Best of luck.

    I take a stroll…

  4. THE VERY DAY IT LEAKS out to the management is the day one of you loses his job, or is tranfered to another branch—if you have branches. No boss would ever like romance to creep into office man hours. You’d better kept this feeling in check until you know you can manage the changes it would bring when the office knows, and while on it, be responsible.

    • I went for a job interview long time ago. I taught it was going to be a very tough and rigorous interview just like any other interview I have attended. Surprisingly, the lady who interviewed me asked me one question which I really failed. She asked me would you date any of these female that you were assigned to protect?. This was about a security job which my job will only required me to monitor people going in and out of the building. I honestly answered the question that, “Of course! I will have a date with any female provided we were both adults, mature and not forcing each other to do so”. After the interview, the interviewer asked some of us to wait and she invited some of us to her office.

      While I was with her, she told me frankly that I failed that question, that, under any circumstances, you should never date anybody whom you were working with. Your associates or your co-workers. No matter what and how you may feel about her. She said, that was against ethics of any professions. Prior to the interview the lady asked me to be honest with my response which I did. The rule of thumb is you should never date your co-workers because the management will believe that both of you can compromise the standard set by the company.

      The reason for me to use my own situation in this scenario is to give a better advise to this individual who was asking for better advise. Therefore, Sister Mary Jane do not make that mistake of announcing your relationship to your colleagues or the entire management of that company. Both of you may end up loosing your job or either one of you may end up loosing his/her job. Also no company will be at ease seeing both of you working in the same company dating each other. There is nothing wrong with both of you falling in love with each other but that will not happen without sacrifice.

      For now, you have to keep your relationship secret. If you have gotten to a stage that both of you are planning wedding, then one of you must resign and one of you with higher income must remain in the company. That is professional ethic for two people who fall in love in the same working place. With the present economic situation in Nigeria, can both of you decide to loose half of your income because you want to make your relationship known to the company? You have to think about the consequence of your decision but I will advise you not to reveal this now.

      Finally, i don’t know if one of you is the family member to the owner of the company or if you are a daughter or son of the owner. Apart from that, trust me, you may be risking your job. One final thing I may suggest is for you or your hubby to volunteer to be transferred to different part of the states. If you are in Lagos and your hubby is in Port harcourt may be that may work but do you prefer long distant relationship? try to ponder on this over and over before you make your decision.

  5. Why does the company need to know what you do in your private life? What is the point? Allow your relationship to take its natural course without the prying eyes of your employer and coworkers. By God’s grace, if it leads to marriage (I assume that’s what you want), then you might want to inform your employer. Don’t shit where you eat

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *