By Faith Oyedepo
Dear Reader, welcome to another exciting week. My prayer is that the joy of the Lord will fill your home and every promise you have been holding unto in God’s Word, will become a reality in your life, in Jesus’ name! You must understand that your marriage is what you make of it. The law of creation forbids that anything happens on it own. Stop waiting for your home to adjust by itself, rather adjust it to what you want by God’s Word.
In this edition of success secrets for a fulfilled marriage, I will be discussing on the secret of saying “Thank you.” These two short words go a long way towards creating credibility. There may be dozens of times each day when we should say “thank you” and we don’t. We are either too busy or preoccupied with our own thoughts or maybe we are unknowingly insensitive to the good deeds done by our spouse. Gratitude does not come easily or naturally to most people; rather, it is a skill that needs to be polished and crafted. However, when you are used to being grateful for every act of kindness shown to you, it can literally change your life and marriage.
Everyone likes appreciation; we all want to be seen and acknowledged for what we do. But couples respond to appreciation differently. Typically, women want to feel adored and cherished in order to be happy in a marriage while men on the other hand need to feel appreciated and acknowledged. Men and women who are not complimented do not feel appreciated. They feel taken for granted and ordinary. So, when an outsider showers them with the much sought-after compliments, they are easily carried away. Appreciating little things creates greater things. Nothing should escape our praise; it motivates the beneficiary to go a step further.
Also, as a husband learn to appreciate your wife by speaking kind words to her often. She needs to hear how much you love and appreciate her daily. As a couple, you must understand that saying “thank you” is an act of complimenting your spouse and this makes him or her feel appreciated. Your ability to appreciate little things creates room for greater things.
The truth is: Any act of kindness done by your spouse, no matter how little it is, requires you saying “thank you”. There is no limit to saying this, as it has no measures for it per day. Saying it often and for every little deed done for you enhances your marriage and strengthens the bond, trust and love. “Thank you” can put smiles on even the hardest of faces. People who know how to appreciate others always get more people wanting to show them kindness. Besides, saying “thank you” makes you realise the great family you have and makes you want to hold on to it. It helps to reduce conflict in homes as you begin to see the positive aspect of your spouse. Gratitude in marriage always helps to promote positive outcome.
As little as those words are, they can do a lot to brighten and strengthen the relationship between you and your spouse. Some men never see the need to say “thank you” to their wives. To them, their wives demand no commendation for performing her domestic duties; she is only playing her role and so does not need any form of commendation. This is unfair and unscriptural! For even having the initiative to perform her duties to you, deserves appreciation, just as you also deserve one for performing yours. Thanksgiving should be reciprocal. It shouldn’t be one-sided.
Learn to appreciate your spouse for his or her good deeds around the home, and for their kind gestures shown towards you. Husbands cultivate the habit of thanking your wife for making your meals, just as the wife cultivates the habit of thanking her husband for providing for the home. When you make this part of you, your spouse will be willing to go an extra mile to keep doing that which he or she is being appreciated for.
Besides this, you must also be thankful to God for your spouse and family members, no matter the situation. The Bible says: Out of them shall proceed thanksgiving and the voice of them that make merry: and I will multiply them, and they shall not be few; I will also glorify them, and they shall not be small (Jeremiah 30:19).
Thanksgiving always has multiplier effect on whatever you are giving God thanks for. If you thank Him for the love that reigns in your family today, He will multiply it. If you can inculcate the act of gratitude into your family’s life style, then get set to experience the love and peace that knows no bound in your marital life.
Appreciating your spouse for doing something well or for something you like about him or her, goes a long way to improve the love in your marriage. However, true gratitude comes from a redefined mind. It is the Holy Spirit that teaches us how to do God’s pleasure, and He is only available to God’s children.
To be a child of God, you must be born again. You become born again by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus Christ as the Lord and Saviour of your life. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through [email protected], 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).