Why Nigerian /African Men Don’t Propose To Their Girlfriends Quickly & What To Do To Make It Happen
Finding the ideal man and settling down with him is the goal of most Nigerian ladies. Convincing a Nigerian man to propose seems to be a problem many ladies employ several means to solve. The same way men struggle to understand the female mind is the same way women struggle to understand the thoughts and actions of the male gender.
Why African/Nigerian Men Don’t Propose To Their Girlfriends On Time
Here are some of the reasons why Nigerian men find it difficult to propose to their girlfriends.
Fear Of Commitment
Many Nigerian men are afraid of making strong commitments with ladies. They need time to come to terms with the seriousness of relationships and marriage. Nigerian men are scared of what it entails to be married. They understand the demands of marriage and know it will definitely cause a shift in their life style. Therefore before this life altering change occurs, they need some time to come to terms with things and many are not in a hurry to take on this responsibility.
Fear Of Making The Wrong Choice
Nigerian men are even more scared than the females of selecting the wrong partner. They understand the implication of making wrong marital choices as many of them come from such homes. So such a man will need time to be completely sure he is taking the right step by proposing to you.
You Don’t Meet His Standards
Men have a list of qualities their ideal wife should portray. A lady may not meet up to all stipulated demands but she should at the very least not be grossly lacking in these qualities. You may not have convinced him to propose because you fall short of his requirements. A Nigerian man could stay with a lady pending the time he actually finds another whom he feels he can take the marriage step with.
The average Nigerian male is a proud one. He has great goals and requires certain structures be put firmly in place before he can consider popping the question. He wants to have a concrete means of providing for a family to the best of his ability while equally maintaining his lifestyle. A woman being a provider in the family will mess with his self respect. Therefore, Most Nigerian men would not propose without having an acceptable means of steady financial income.
Still Having Fun
A Nigerian man may not propose because he might be too busy having fun and reveling in the blissful freedom of not being tied down. While having you as a steady girlfriend, he may also be steadily juggling other ladies. He gets the best of both worlds so why complicate things with marriage. Getting a proposal from this kind of Nigerian man may be nearly impossible as he has no interest in changing his lifestyle anytime soon.
In such cases it is recommended to move on with your life as a cheating boyfriend will most likely make a cheating husband. If he does eventually propose, for your health and peace of mind flee from the proposal of such a man.
How To Make A Nigerian, African Man To Propose
Convincing a Nigerian man that you are worth making a permanent commitment with is not an easy task. It may require making a few adjustments if your lifestyle is completely different from what a Nigerian man wants in a woman.
Changing for the better is a welcome and healthy improvement. It should be a personal decision not something forced on anyone. When making life altering changes, be sure you are going about it the right way and for the right reasons as well.
When getting a Nigerian man to propose the best way to go about it is in a subtle way. Mounting undue pressure on him in that regard makes him begin searching for the quickest escape route.
Nigerian men expect certain qualities from a woman before they can consider making her a permanent part of their life. Here are a few things Nigerian men look for in a woman.
Love And Appreciation
Appreciating the gestures of a man no matter how small these actions may be is a habit you should cultivate. Your words and actions should reflect the love you have for him. He should be convinced that he is not just an alternative but the real deal. Don’t be ungrateful towards him; a Nigerian man may term you as a person who is difficult to please.
Being labeled a disrespectful lady by your man is definitely a strike against you. He may be able to live with other not so good qualities you possess; but making a marital life with a lady who has no regard for him is something a Nigerian man will not do. A disrespectful lady is someone even the family of a Nigerian man will not accept. Family is very important to the average Nigerian and respect is also a core value in the society. Allow him the opportunity to express himself and his views. Even if you don’t agree with them attempt to get your own opinions across without using harsh or derogatory expressions.
Other men may not require this of you but for the wife of a Nigerian man it is a necessity. A married Nigerian man is not one to eat out every day he expects frequently home cooked meals from his wife. If you hope to marry a Nigerian man, you should certainly be able to cook. The Nigerian society still fully sees a woman who cannot cook as inadequate. No Nigerian mother will want her son married to a lady lacking in cooking skills.
A man looks for a friend and partner in the woman he wants to marry. He needs a friend to share his dreams and insecurities with; a lady who he can have intelligent and educative interactions with. Make an attempt to be someone he can laugh and have fun with. Granted he will still have his male friends and will definitely share things with them which he may not share with you. The bottom line is to create a friendly and comfortable atmosphere when you are together.
Don’t Be Controlling
If you are obsessed with having things done in your way and your way alone you might want to make a few adjustments. Nigerian men and the entire male gender in general have the urge to be in control of things and situations if not all the time then some of the time. Controlling and domineering women are avoided by Nigerian men.
If a man finds himself dating such a person you can be certain he will find his way when the time is right. A Nigerian man wants to be in control of his household he will not want a woman whom he has to wrestle with for control. A woman who dictates to him what his actions should be, things he is permitted to do and not do. Such a person is not an acceptable wife for a Nigerian man.
Don’t Be A Nag
As a lady feeling the urge to keep repeating and complaining about situations over and over again may just be the thing holding your man back from popping the question. Nagging is an irritable quality a Nigerian man does not want in a wife. Men require peace and quiet to properly function Nigerian men included. You do not have to complain about any and everything. Learn to overlook things every once in a while, learn other effective tactics of solving issues in a relationship rather than nagging consistently.
Have a drive, have a purpose; do not sit idle all day every day planted in front of one screen or the other doing nothing of value. Nigerian men appreciate industrious women, not over dependent ones who always have a list of demands which need to be met. A Nigerian man would highly regard a hardworking and productive lady. It’s a quality greatly sought after by them.
Win His Family’s Love
Getting his family to approve of you certainly ups your chances. Once his family loves and accepts you, it gives a Nigerian man a certain level of assurance about the kind of person you are. His family members become your advocate and encourage him to propose. Nigerian men have a strong sense of family. When his family acknowledges your relationship then most often it’s only a matter of time before you become his wife.
After all said and done it is only fair you know that you can’t actually force a man to propose although; you can put these pointers to work and hope for the best.
In addition, you should not be the only one pushing for the survival of any relationship and solely making all the sacrifices. Refuse to ignore your instincts; women have a sixth sense about these situations your mind knows when it’s time to call it quits.
Be smart about it and know when to draw the line. A healthy relationship is one where two partners are equally committed to making sure things are in order.
For more relationship tips, visit NaijaGists.com Relationship And Marriage Column.