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Temilolu Okeowo

Still On Secondary Virginity: Dear Sisters, Stop Short-Changing Yourselves!

secondary virginity christianity

Still On Secondary Virginity: Dear Sisters, Stop Short-Changing Yourselves!

DEAR Aunty Temilolu,

I bless God for how He’s been using you to turn the lives of girls around for good with your admonitions on chastity! I wish I’d known or heard about your type of teachings some 18 years ago, perhaps I wouldn’t be feeling sorry for myself right now.

I’ll be 38 in August and single. I was a virgin until 15 years ago when I engaged in a single relationship that left me heartbroken for four good years! Before then, I constantly received visions effortlessly; He gave me a discerning spirit such that if anyone lied while talking to me, I’d know.

I enjoyed His presence and leading tremendously such that if I continued that way I can imagine the great glory I would be manifesting by now! I lost something tangible, I lost revelation, I lost the vision, I missed hearing from the Holy Spirit.

I don’t know how I allowed the devil to manipulate me after preserving my virginity till the age of 23 and getting me to engage in a sinful relationship/sexual immorality. When I clocked 27, I went back to God promising not to misbehave again and He mercifully restored my spiritual gifts.

However, I went back to my vomit two years ago after staying away from premarital sex for 11 years. I was actually fornicating with a co-chorister and so on. Right now, I keep wishing I could just turn back the hand of the clock. I know my life has been polluted. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. My life is stagnant, I keep going in and out of wrong relationships hurt, rejected and abandoned. I’ve also stopped going to church. I’m too depressed. Please advise me before I do something silly to myself.


Dear Miss O.

I empathise with you and wish I could give you all you wish you had at the moment. However, I must mention that it’s amazing that you could restrain yourself from fornicating for 11 good years without achieving something fulfilling from preserving your virtues! From my discussions with you, before you fell back into sin, you were a fire brand church worker in more than one “fire” department! You must have been loaded with enormous power of God and virtues so I can’t help but wonder why life is knocking you out! If you had maintained the second chance God gave you, your success should have been long phenomenal! I don’t want to start analysing what could have gone wrong; God who created you knows the battles your destiny is contending with. All I know is His promise in Joel 2:25

“And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.”

Funny thing is advanced as you feel you are in age, it doesn’t take God anything to give you one of his best sons – a single guy as husband and multiple birth for your first pregnancy and the very best of every other thing to have! It’s really up to Him and that’s why instead of refusing to go to church, re-fire and get refilled with the Holy Spirit! Without telling you, you know that’s the only power that can help you now. And that’s why Acts 1:8 says “But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is upon you…” Please start afresh and let the power of God in you start projecting your dream life, win souls for God, work for God, get Him 100% on your side, get Him too committed to you not to make you happy, believe me, before you know it, your glory will appear and the rest of your life would be glorious. He knew you’d mess up and He’s still waiting for you. No wonder Haggai 2:8-9 says

“The silver is Mine and the gold is Mine, says the Lord of hosts, ‘The glory of this latter temple shall be greater than the former,’ says the Lord of hosts. ‘And in this place I will give peace,’ says the Lord of hosts.”

Wow! What a good God!!! Quite frankly, I congratulate you in advance! Please stop the pity party and pen down how you intend to get back at life and command it to your will. I love you darling and so does God! I can’t wait to hear your testimony!

My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters.

We are still on secondary virginity, which is making a commitment not to be sexually active again until after marriage after having engaged in sexual intercourse.

Stop cheating yourself, stop short-changing yourself and stop “chancing” yourself when you can have the very best of life and eternity at your finger tips.

Stop sleeping around and become a secondary virgin today!.

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