May 22, 2016 – Are You Genuinely In Love Him Or Her, Take This True Love Test To Find Out
By Vanessa Okwara
Loving and being loved in return gives off a thrilling feeling of walking on cloud nine. You smile at the mention of your partner’s name. When your phone rings, you wish the call is from your love even before you see the name of the caller. You yearn to spend every special moment of your life with him or her.
Love brings new meaning and excitement into your life, you go around with this sheepish smile on your face and people close to you wonder why you have this glow of happiness all around you.
This feeling is even headier when your love is reciprocated by the subject of your desire. Love does make the world go round. We cannot help but need to be loved at every stage in our life. Nature has wired the human heart to yearn for the love of another human being.
It is a magic word that catches our attention anytime, any day. The heart of everyone yearns to love and be loved back in return. For the sake of love, we do incredible things and go through unimaginable heartaches; yet we still go back seeking for love and have our hearts broken all over again.
At a point it becomes a vicious circle because you find out that you keep falling in and out of love like a tennis ball.
As exciting as the feelings I have described above depicts when one falls in love, I will say here that there’s no hard and fast rule that says you must have these feelings registered in your life before you know that you are actually in love.
In fact some have argued with me that when they married their partner, they didn’t have all those feelings which romance novels have fed our heads with while growing up, yet they are truly in love and happy with their partner.
The mere fact that your heart beats fast when you see your partner does not mean he/she is the one. Most times, these feelings can only be just pure lust or mere infatuation and as such deceptive and misleading.
That is why much emphasis should be laid on how you truly feel about this individual and not necessarily how fast the heart beats when they walk through the door. Falling in love is a heady feeling that is often mistaken with infatuation and lust.
Because of the excitement of meeting someone interesting who make the adrenalin pump faster and increases the sexual tension in the relationship, we neglect to do what is most needful and that is – ask questions!
If you can sit down and take a quick inventory of your love life, you will realise you must have fallen in and out of love with quite a number of people in your lifetime. The question is: where you really in love with all of them?
Oftentimes we allow lust and infatuation to overrule our thinking and we fail to ask the right kind of questions that will help us to know if this person fits the criteria of the kind of person we wish to spend the rest of our lives with or not.
Our personalities or what psychologists call temperaments often play a part in the way we approach the issues of love. Some approach it in a standoffish formal way, while others get all romantic and fairy tale like when dealing with matters of the heart. So how do you see love?
Do you believe in fairy tale kind of love? Are you the type that looks at issues logically? The way you see love determines your approach to it and what you also get in return.
If you can truthfully answer these questions about yourself then you are half way finding out if you are in love with your partner or not.
One of the litmus tests I always tell people to use to discover if they are truly in love or not is to first of all rid their partner of every paraphernalia they may have around them such as the kind of job they do, wealth, their beauty, properties and every other thing that may look like physical attributes.
The reason for this is for you to know for sure that the real reason you love that person has got nothing to do with what they have but you love them for who they are.
True love lasts forever and does not look at the physical attributes but it is based on finding that person who fits or compliments you in every way. So my advice to all those who have been writing e-mails asking:
How they will know if they are really in love or not, I’ll just say: FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
If you are the type that rationalise and analyse, find out if that person meets with the criteria of the kind of personality you wish to spend the rest of your life with and also gauge if romance and chemistry (which I call the oils of love) can be felt in that relationship.
Once you have been able to identify these major things about yourself and the kind person you want to be with, then go ahead and enjoy the exhilarating feelings only love can bring into your life. After all, you only live once!