April 17, 2012 – Heartbreak Story: Steve Lied To Me, Men Are Evil
This is a painful heartbreak experience / story of a lady by the name of Gbemisola. naijagists.com
In this story, Gbemisola narrates the painful experience she had with her ex called Steve.
Read the detail gist below.
How It All Started
I met this guy Steve, when I was just 13. I was waiting for my visa cos I was meant to continue my education abroad. He was my 1st ever boyfriend. At 1st, he didn’t know how old I was cos I looked older than my age. As the young girl I was,I was naïve.
He later found out how old I was. He was 12yrs older than me. Surprisingly,he stayed on with me but never touched me(something most men would hardly do). I then traveled abroad to continue with my education. We would stay in contact through e-mails & phone calls. I would come back home to naija sometimes & on one of those occasions, he took me to meet his family. Sometimes, we wouldn’t see each other for over a year.
When I got into Uni, I stayed faithful to him still. My friends would tell me I’m wasting my life 4someone who’s probably cheating on me back in naija. I didn’t care. I knew he said he would marry me so I believed him. I thought to myself “men always cheat”. Doesn’t mean I should do same. As hard as it was, I stayed faithful. Guys started calling me a lesbian. I took it knowing my man appreciated my being faithful to him. By then, we had stayed over 2yrs without setting eyes on each other.
Finally, I relocated back to Nigeria. Before then,I had been noticing Steve had started acting weird towards me. He wouldn’t call me till I called him. Even when he called it would be just flashing. I was a student. He had a job.I was the one meant to “flash”. Even though its expensive calling naija,I would call whenever he “flashed”. For sometime,he stopped picking my calls too.I felt all this was happening cos he hadn’t seen me in 2yrs. I knew probably he had met another girl but I felt it wouldn’t b a serious relationship since he wanted to marry me & I had met his family & they would call me from time to time.
The Shock Of My Life
When I finally moved back home, few months later. He broke the news to me. He had gotten married & he had a kid. I was so shocked. I couldn’t believe it. But he didn’t stop there. He told me he didn’t love his wife. Said his family pressured him into the marriage cos they felt I wasn’t “serious”. Said he just wanted to please his mom (his dad is dead). He cried & begged me on his knees not to leave him. Said he still wanted to marry me. Said the wife he married was for his mom, so he wants to marry for himself now. He cried, begged n begged. Asked y he never told me about the marriage. He said didn’t want me to feel disappointed in him & then leave him. Stupidly, I fell for his lies.
I never for one day asked him to leave his wife for me. That would have been plain wrong. Even when I knew I was there b4 her. He told me he couldn’t leave her too cos he didn’t want to hurt her. According to him,it was his mistake so she shouldn’t pay for it. He told his family members & friends he still planned to marry me. It made me have confidence in him not knowing he was a liar. I was getting prepared to meet his wife cos I wanted to get along with her. I knew it would be hard for her like it was for me,but I was willing to put in the effort needed. Let’s just say, I was brainwashed by him. Through all this, I never let my family know he had gotten married cos I knew it would pose a problem.
Well, that was years ago. I’ve finally found out that he used me. I have a lovely daughter by him now. She’s almost 3yrs old. The scales finally fell from my eyes after I had her. Steve changed towards me. Showed me he did not want me or my daughter. I found out much later that he lied about his marriage. Yes, family pressured him but it wasn’t an arranged marriage like he claimed it was. Found out he never planned to marry me. My daughter hardly sees her dad. Everything he told me was all lies. He met a woman, fell in love, got her pregnant, & married her. Then I wonder, y did he beg me to remain with him when he knew he was lying to me?? Y couldn’t he just let me go?? Y did he keep lying telling me he loved me?? Y??
Funnily enough, he still claims he loves & want to marry me still.he thinks I’m still the stupid naïve girl who he could control. I realize he just doesn’t want to see me with another man. Something snapped in my head. I wanted revenge & wanted it badly. For all the yrs I had spent with him which ended up being a waste of my time. By then, I had spent a total of 13yrs with him. I hatched my plot. I slept with his best friend(before then, I had never slept with any other man). And told him about it. He cried, asked me y I did it. Told him it was to get him back. Surprisingly, he forgave me. Took a while, but he did. I laughed hard in my mind. I pretended to feel bad about what I did. Both men aren’t friends anymore. Steve still hasn’t told his friend that he knows we slept together.
I’m not done yet. This is just the beginning. I don’t plan to sleep with any more of his friends but I would hurt him in a way that wldnt be so easy for him to forgive. I want him to feel the hurt I’ve felt. Feel the pain he made me feel & feel what’s its like to love someone & have all your love thrown back into your face.
Funnily enough, he wants to come meet my family officially during this Easter break. I’ll play along. He can’t brainwash or mess with me again. Sometimes, cos of my attitude towards him now, he tells me he feels I’m not sorry for sleeping with his friend. I beg him & try to act like I’m sorry. Hahahaha!! Other times, I tell him, yes I’m not sorry!
In conclusion, men are evil. Steve lied to me, used me as a punch bag d little times we’d see, so its my turn now. I now know how to punch back. Where it hurts.
Editor’s Comment
Gbemisola be encouraged. Life is not fair and can never be.
The facts that Steve hurt you doesn’t make all men evil.
There are still several men today with good conscience it just takes the grace of God and prayer to meet them.
Let go and let God so you can have the peace of mind to move on.
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you saw that he was married and you still had a daughter for him? to get back at him you slept with his friend? I am his friend too! you can get back at him again. i promise you, it will pain him so much this time he will marry you. olodo!
U dnt av 2 kal ha olodo.u knw say woman get soft hat.bt she was bin stupid 2 av agree 2 date marid man.
Well as a woman i dont blame stave i blame Gbemisola she sounds like a lady dat can easily be decieve by anyman women have to be smart because most men are deceivers, am even angry with her is nt as if she lacks anything or in need. She really want to destroy her life because 4rm d moment she had he is married she suppose 2 sense something he can never married her he just want to keep her 4 Sexxxxxx but is nt 2 late she should 4give and move on such is life i wish her luck sha.
Such is like, ful of pains n problems yet d strong survive.
If z tru den my name sake av don bad cos z ur own side we no but der z mistake u ladys always do dat if guy say 2 lady i promise wit all my heart i wil marry u, dy tink dax all der fake. doo z nt ur falt, ladys ur sence z very smal amagn d yrs u av waistd 4rm ur very litle age so jus 4get n go on wit ur life hs marred wat eva u do u ar just waistn ur tm b a gud girl despite u av njoy hs frns plesure life gos on.
I’ll advise u to forget abt d guy n move on wit ur lyf.wen u think u r retaliating him,u r wastin ur tym n destroyin ursef in d process.Get close to God n ask Him to help u out of ur depression n resentment.Be wise n choose right.Life continues.
pls b very careful cos HIV is not a respecter of any man and also note that tow wrong don’t make it right!
My dear u made a mistake by not leaving immeditely u found out dat he was married.but neva d less, u hav to wake up n take charge of ur life revenge is and will neva be the solution. Forget him and cliq to Jesus he alone hav the answer and solution. Gudluck
My Dear. I can understand what you are passing tru. What you are having now is what the Psychologists called Depression. You trusted him and kept yourself for him for so many years and he turned around and hurt you. Girlfriend you shouldn’t have allowed him to touch you again when you found out that he is married. You allowed urself to be cheaply used by him. Where is ur carriage again. He can never leave his wife for you. She is his wife and u were just his mistress. Hope u see the picture.you still went and have a baby for him. You did not show respect for womanhood. Put all about him behind and pick up. Stop and pls stop sleeping around, you are endangering urself and not the man that is enjoying his life with his family. There are thousands of men out there. Get urself one and settle down.
sleeping with his fends makes u a bigger fool,put urseif togate,u wil see men asking u out with abeg my dear life must go on am i living witness
das men 4 u, it wil serve as a lesson 2 somladis too bt Gbemi my advice 4 u is to blush dat so cal steve off ur mind nd continue wit ur life
eyaa sory my sister, but why did’nt you ask guestion about him before going out with him, although mens are wicked sometime. May be the man is scared to tell you dat he is married, but the same take heart and pls dnt be a fool to any again.
My dear sister, u have to take heart and move on with life. U made a very big mistake by having a child for him knowing he has a wife. Since it has happened learn frm ur mistake and stop sleeping around bcos it can never help u rather u end up destroying urself and ur future. It will only take some time but u wil definitely find a man who wil sincerely luv u. I kn how u feel. Stop messing-up.
I DONT BLAME 2 OF THEM
It wrong 4 u 2 sleep wit is friend and also 4 u to sleep wit a married man.tell me is he rich dat made u stayed wit him.