Ladies Beware Of Long Courtship, It Makes You Vulnerable To Heart Break

long distance heart break

September 10, 2016 – Ladies Beware Of Long Courtship, It Makes You Vulnerable To Heart Break

Chima and Nmasichi met during their youth service seven years ago. They became lovers and virtually inseparable. They rented an apartment where they lived together all through their service year.

She got pregnant twice but had to abort the babies since they were not ready to start a family yet. Chima promised to marry her once they finished serving and get a good job.

After their NYSC, she got a job before him and supported him for over a year from her salary as an account officer in a small firm. Finally, he was able to secure a job as a computer analyst in an oil firm.

She was ecstatic about the news and believed that very soon, she and Chima will get married. Unfortunately, that dream was short lived as Chima’s father was diagnosed of hypertension and diabetes. He suffered a stroke and had to be constantly hospitalsied and monitored to stabilise him.

This of course took a heavy toll on Chima’s finances as the first son. He was also saddled with the responsibility of seeing his two younger brothers through the University since their father was no longer in any condition to cater for the family.

That was how Nmasichi waited endlessly and patiently for six years for Chima to settle all his numerous family problems so they could settle down as husband and wife. Eventually, his two brothers graduated from the University and his father’s condition stabilised to the extent he could be managed at home with the necessary apparatus needed to monitor his blood pressure and sugar level.

So, it was only ideal for her to ask Chima to set the date for their wedding; but he kept giving her lame excuses of work pressure and the need to save good money before finally settling down. Recently, she also discovered that he became somewhat distant. He hardly comes to visit her since he moved out from her little room and rented a bigger apartment where he claimed they will soon start their family together.

You can then imagine the rude shock she received when she opened the anonymous letter that was left on her door step last night. Someone apparently wanted her to know about the cruel injustice meted on her by the man she has wasted the years of her youth waiting for. He’s getting married to someone else and everybody knows about it except her.

Now, she’s very angry, desperate and terribly confused. She feels as if someone practically ripped her heart from the rib cage. She’s torn in shreds and wants to take out her revenge on Chima in whatever way she can. No one will make a fool out of her for this long and think they can get away with it.

She must get her own pound of flesh from Chima, Nmasichi vowed to herself. A very sad story of love and betrayal isn’t it? But this is what happens when you get tangled in a long relationship heading nowhere. Ladies, don’t get engaged to man for more than two years please! In fact, a man should not even think of getting married unless he’s sure he can perfect his marriage plans within a space of 18 months.

Women have suffered severally in the hands of the men they fall in love with all in the name of being engaged. Promises are not meant to be broken.

The vows of commitment we make to people we love in the hit of passion may be overlooked, but when you have woken up from the throes of passion and realise you can no longer keep up with the relationship, please let the other person off the hook.

It’s worse if they find out after a long period of time that you never intended to keep your word. The danger behind promise and fail in long time relationship is the bitterness it brews. Nobody likes to be played for a fool.

That is why we keep hearing horror stories of how a woman killed her former boyfriend because he broke the relationship or a man pours acid on his former girlfriend just to make sure no other man looks at her. I am not saying these people are justified in their actions but the truth is that, this could be avoided if the other partner was upfront about his/her feelings.

If you have suffered a broken heart caused by longtime relationship, please allow divine justice to play its cause; don’t take the law into your hands. This is why I don’t advocate anyone to go into long time courtship. Anything can happen within those years to warrant the promise to be broken.

The person may not have done it on purpose, but circumstances usually change the course of life; throwing the couple apart and causing unintentional broken promises and wasted years.

That is why I’ll insist that if you made a promise to your loved one for something as serious as marriage make sure you fulfill it as soon as possible. But, if you are not yet ready, keep your promises to yourself. Don’t make promises you are not yet ready to fulfill if you do not want karma to make an unscheduled visit to your destiny.

[By Vanessa Okwara]

8 thoughts on “Ladies Beware Of Long Courtship, It Makes You Vulnerable To Heart Break

  1. Rastaman is not do womens bad thing. Rastaman is even preach to womens to dey good. Rastaman is full for Jamaica. Babylon must fall. I and I. Me say watagwan ina place for long time. What a sin thing wey mens are do womens? I can not posibul to disapointed womens but no womens is gree to friending me. Is only wowo womens are friend me and I am tire for wowo womens. Wetin have I do. Maybe is curse weyris follow me for village say I am not fit get fine girl. Or maybe is the igbo wey I am smoke. If say is the igbo weyris poshuu fine womens from me, then wahala is dey bicos I can not posibul to stop igbo. Igbo is me and I be igbo. Insted make I stop igbo, make I marry to animal. Nonsens. Wetin womens think say them be sef?

  2. Vanessa Okwara, thank for the write-up. He who wears the shoes no where it pinches. Even with this write-ups whatever will be will be. Be it short or long relationship, it takes the Grace of God to make it works well.

  3. IF THIS MAN WHO DID this is made to practically hear Rihannah’s Man Down, would he say it’s unfair? What he did to this lady is very bad. I doubt if anything hurts like a renege on marriage proposal. That is why the victims very often go crazy.

    WE CAUTION ourselves against this kind of experience all the time. Unfortunately, love has no fixed formula: we may never be able to precisely tell at any point in time which one is correct between the head and the heart. Thus, people will always fall victims. That’s why Aaron Neville’s classic, Everybody Plays the Fool, will always remain relevant to us.

    IF EVER THIS KIND OF STORY WOULD cease to be told, selfishness would have to first be eradicated from the entire human nature because that is the main reason why somebody would deceitfully keep another person to themselves when they know that the relationship is headed nowhere.

  4. The scenario in the write -up holds true most times. Since nobody really knows the sure formular for herding a relationship to the altAr, it is safer not to work on presumptions. If a couple decides they will get married, give yourselfs some set period to commence the stages e.g. When to make the “introduction” between the couple’s families; usually at such event the woman’s family will ask when the man is coming for the traditional marriage etc.
    If on the other hand either the man or woman wants to go abroad for further studies, look for another partner and start a relationship. If he or she is destined to marry you it will still happen eventually but if not at least you will not waste time waiting for an empty dream. Such absence scatters relationships especially when the party left behind is not in a position to follow the other and does not establish something that gives him some leverage while the fiancé is away. Oftentimes even if the abroad person comes back as a single person, the social status or communicAtion level would change and the relationship fails to thrive.
    Even where the couple stay in the same city, over lingering in a relationship without marriage renders the relationship jaded and they start picking faults in each other’s character. I agree totally with the write up. Don’t linger “studying” a relationship till you obtain PHD about each other’s character for that will never be possible as long as you are two different human beings. Simply take the plunge in faith or check out and explore possibilities with other people who might work better for you than the stalling partner.

  5. to the writer thanks for this msg it will really go a long way. to d ladies once a guy engage u it means marriage processing if he is not ready for marriage dnt ever wear that ring hoping he will marry me someday. that ring block way for other men to see u

  6. And when a man marry a woman,that means he will be comitted right? my advice to every one is to be prayerful! Whether u are married or not!

  7. MARRIAGE IS NO MORE A YARDSTICK.

    BUT TO BEING ANALYTICAL , PLEASE DO NOT WAIT FOR A MAN TO PROPOSE BEFORE YOU HAVE CHILDREN , LEARN TO USE MEN FOR SPERM DONOR, THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE FOR.

    WALK INTO LOVE ,PLEASE DO NOT LOOK FOR LOVE.

    IT IS A WASTE OF TIME TO BE LOOKING FOR LOVE.

    BECAUSE IT IS BETTER YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF THAN FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE .

    THE ONLY WAY TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF IS TO GIVE YOURSELF AN INDEPENDENT
    LIFE STYLE , IN WHICH YOU CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE WITHOUT DEPENDING ON ANYONE.

    YOU ARE SOMEONE WHO CAN GIVE YOURSELF ANYTHING YOU WANT, AND DO EVERYTHING FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN.

    YOU ARE NOT AFRAID IF A MAN GIVES YOU MONEY TO FEED YOUR CHILDREN , YOU ARE NOT AFRAID IF YOUR MARRIAGE LAST LONG OR SHORT.

    WHO CARES IF THIS GODDAMN MAN HAS ANOTHER WOMAN IN SECRET , IT WOULD NOT BE A YARDSTICK TO YOU .

    BECAUSE THIS GODDAMN MAN IS A SPERM DONOR AND YOU HAVE USED HIM TO GET YOUR BABIES.

    SO WHERE EVER HE LIKES HE CAN GO AND DONATE MORE SPERMS TO THE BARREN WOMEN.

    I HAVE USED MR SPERM DONAR FOR FIVE CHILDREN , AND I HAPPIER THAT I HAVE A GOOD JOB TO FEED MY CHILDREN .

    I AM COMFORTABLE I HAVE MY OWN SPACE ,

    THAT I AM COMFORTABLE LIVING WITH MY CHILDREN ,

    MR SPERM DONOR LIVE WITH HIS FIRST WIFE OR HIS NEW CATCH.

    I AM NOT HIS COOK OR SOMEONE TO HELP MR SPERM DONAR WASH HIS UNDIES OR POLISH HIS SHOES.

    I WAS NOT THE WIFE THAT WOULD BE LOOKING THROUGH THE WINDOW , FOR THIS MOTHERFUCKER, WHO COMES BACK HOME LATE AFTER HE HAS FUCK ALL HIS GODDAMN CUMCUBINES.

    THEN HE USED OUR HOUSE AS A STOP OVER ,I AM NOT MRS STOP OVER .

    HE GOES OUT VERY EARLY AND COME BACK HOME VERY LATE AFTER HE HAS BEEN FUCKING ALL HIS GIRLFRIENDS. HE COMES BACK HOME WITH EMPTY SPERM BANK. AH AH AH

    THEN , HE WANT TO TURN YOU TO HIS SLAVES AT HOME WHO WILL COOK AND WASH HIS DIRTY UNDIES.

    THEN HE SLEEPS ON BED BESIDE YOU LIKE AN ORANGUTAN, SLEEPS THERE ON BED AND SNORING LIKE MAAAAAALU/ COW , AND FACE THE WALL, OR LOOKING AT THE CEILING.

    WHEN YOU ASKED HIM TO MAKE LOVE , HE TELLS YOU THAT HE WAS TIRED, AND REFUSED TO KISS OR CUDDLE .

    SO, MAY I KNOW WHY I SHOULD WASTE MY TIME LOOKING FOR LOVE????????????????

    WHY AM I WASTING MY TIME FOR LOVE .???????????????????????????/

    THE BEST LOVE IS TO LOVE YOURSELF ,CREATE YOUR OWN SPACE AND BE HAPPY, BE A MADAM USER. MEN ARE SPERM DONAR.

    DEAR WOMEN , PLEASE GIVE MEN PANDOYAM AND EFORIRO, VEGETABLE SOUP AND LAY THEM DOWN ,

    FUCK THEM TO THE CORE TO DONATE THE GODDAMN SPERM. AHHHHHHHHHH

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AH AH AH AH MADAM USER RRRRRRRRRRR

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *