April 7, 2012 – My Husband Is Sleeping With My Cousin. What Should I Do ?
This is question from a confused wife. Apparently her husband is having an intimate affair with her cousin. Please read her story below and give her your best suggestions. naijagists.com
My heart is very heavy as I write to you. I don’t know what to do or who to trust any longer. This world is not a place where you trust people, especially people close to you.
I am so disappointed and disillusioned. What should I do? My mother and younger sister are trying to shield me from the hurt and heartache as they have refused to tell me what they saw. But I heard everything they discussed. They thought I had slept, fortunately, I did not. I am yet to let them know I heard everything they discussed that fateful day, two weeks ago.
How do I handle this situation? What do I do with a husband I trusted so much? A man who is my world and love.One who I gave all the love in my heart, but decided to cheat on me with my cousin; someone who I equally trusted and I thought was the best thing that could have happened to me. I thought she was God sent. I saw her as the angel God sent to me to help during my trying period. I never knew she had other motives.
My husband and I met at the orientation camp when we went for youth service and started our relationship which later led to the altar. We waited on the Lord for the fruit of the womb for seven years after marriage. And when the blessing came, it was one ailment after the other during the first trimester of the pregnancy.It even led to my having to resign my appointment from the bank where I worked to take care of myself. I was not stable until I was about seven months and then there was no point going back to work.
Unfortunately, I fell ill again after I gave birth to my baby; a lovely baby girl. It was as if Temidayo, my daughter, knew the circumstances on the ground; she is really a peaceful and loving baby, never asking for much attention or giving any problem.
I stayed in the hospital for over three months. At a point, my baby was discharged to go home and my mother had to take her to her place. My husband at about that time was transferred to the Onitsha branch of his office. He works with a telecommunications company, so once in a while whenever he came home, he would go to my mother’s place because of Temidayo.
My cousin, Helen, my age group who had lived with us since she was 12 years old, was also on hand to help me.My mother, raised us like sisters and outsiders who are not family members would never know that we were not siblings. She raised us together. She would have got married before me, but her fiancée disappointed her few weeks before the wedding day as he ran away with a former girlfriend.
Her sorrow at that time was shared by every member of my family and we all stood by her to make sure that she stood on her feet again. I really don’t understand why she chose to pay me back this way.
While I was in the hospital, she stood by me and really helped in taking care of my daughter.
When I was discharged from the hospital, I had to go and stay at my mother’s place because I could not stay at home alone.
That same weekend, my husband came home and also decided to sleep at our house, because according to him, he had no one at home. I was very excited because I felt he really loved and cared about me. I never knew he had an agenda.
I had been sleeping in my mother’s room, but because my husband was going to stay for the night, my mother said we could sleep at the guest room. I went for a shower and got ready for bed in my mother’s room and by the time I went through my toilet routine, I became very tired and dozed off.
I didn’t know the time, but I guessed it was late. I felt my mother and younger sister crept into the room and they were talking in hushed tones. Initially, I thought, something happened to my baby, but I felt her beside me on the bed breathing. They kept glancing at me to confirm if I was sleeping.
Their attitude made me suspicious, so I pretended I was sleeping. I overheard them talking about Helen and my husband. What I heard shocked me; my mother caught Helen and my husband having sex on the terrace in our house.
It was very hot that night and our generator was bad, so they could not put it on. They all went on the terrace to enjoy fresh air. My mummy and sister came down to take care of Temidayo, leaving Helen and my husband.
Mummy said she thought they must have gone into their various rooms and left the door unlocked. She wanted to lock the door so that she could wake me to go and sleep in the guest room with my husband.
On a second thought, she wanted to double check, she climbed the staircase, lo and behold, she caught them right in the act. They were so engrossed in the act that they did not see her coming. She also listened to their conversation; it was there that she learnt that they had been doing this for some time now, even before I was discharged from the hospital. She did not keep quiet; she ensured that they saw her by calling their names and confronted them with all she had heard.
They, however, pleaded that she should not tell me what she saw and heard. This was very overwhelming to her, that she needed to tell someone.
I was too shocked to react, there and then. I however refused to go and share the bed with my husband that night. He also did not force me. He came to ask and I refused. My mother, didn’t even speak with him.
I was too shocked and sad to discuss this with anybody. My mother and sister haven’t told me either. They have been treating me with extra care since then. Helen however did not know that I was aware of the whole saga. I noticed she has been avoiding my mother too and whenever she is with me, with my mum’s absence she tries to be extra nice.
My Husband has Been Seeing Another Woman For 3 Years & Has A Child With Her
She would bring different gifts on her way from the office. But I can’t continue to pretend I did not hear or know what happened.
Please, what should I do? I can’t stand my cousin any more. I can’t continue to pretend to my husband any longer and I want to relieve my mother and sister of the burden. What should I do?
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