Nigerian Men And Relationships: Pros And Cons Of Dating A Nigerian Man
Haba NaijaGists.com na wetin consign una with Naija men matter, na only dem exist for this world???
My people make u no vex o.
So it is not our fault, it is the fault of Nigerian men dating African American women. Make una remember “ya” brothers in your prayers. **wink**
A series of questions we received in the past weeks brought about this new article titled “Pros and Cons of Dating A Nigerian Man“.
If you missed previous articles in this series, visit our relationship corner.
Oh by the way, we posted another one in the back end yesterday titled “How To Handle A Nigerian Man“… We need deliverance don’t we? LOL.
Nigerian Men And Relationships
Relationships are usually what people go into because they share similarities with the other individual and this feels like it is going to work out for both of them. Some others on the other hand would want to try out a relationship with someone from a different background and culture entirely.
We have had instances where people from other countries meet, then after a while they started dating. Or blacks dating whites. Such inter racial dating and or marriages are usually beautiful in that two persons of completely different races, languages and sometimes religions are willing to be with each other and make things work out for them.
For those who wish to know, dating a Nigerian (man or woman) is quite an experience. This is coming from all the inter woven angles such as the food, music, languages etc. You also get to see life from the life of a Nigerian (which is clearly different I can assure you).
There are lots of amazing things to learn from them but at the same time, there are certain things you need to be wary of. Everyone has their negative sides and knowing them is going to help you deal with them better.
Let us look at the advantages and disadvantages of dating a Nigerian man . The list may not contain everything you want but it contains the major things you should be aware of just in case you are planning on dating or marrying a Nigerian as the case may be.
Why You Should Date A Nigerian Man
Here is why you should date a Nigerian man:
Nigerian Men Are Friendly
Nigerian men are very friendly people. This can explain why they are not afraid or hindered from exploring all parts of the world. A Nigerian man welcomes and accommodates everyone regardless of race, tradition and or religion. This is part of the reason why they usually have girlfriends from around the world because they are very open.
Why do you think the number of inter racial couples have increased significantly in Nigeria? Exactly. It is because they are warm, friendly and liberal. So if you are thinking of a man from Africa that you would consider dating, think Nigerian.
Most Nigerian Men Are Hard Working
Nigerian men are known to be very industrious and can get their hands dirty (in the proverbial sense) to put food on the table.
They do nor believe in sitting and waiting for manna to fall from heaven. This could also explain why it has one of the most prosperous people in Africa. If you are dating a Nigerian, just know that you got yourself asset
Someone who is always willing and ready to take on any visible opportunity and carve a niche for himself. A Nigerian man never settles for “good” but goes ahead to look for what is better than the rest
Ladies who know this always try to date them because they know they are assets. Someone who is not just ready to meet your needs but most times, that of your family as well.
Nigerian Men Respect Their Culture And Tradition
Ladies love men who are very liberal and accommodating of the Western world and culture but at the same time, has not lost touch with his roots. That is one good quality of a Nigerian man.
They may travel to the far ends of the earth, meet all sorts of people with various religion, educational and racial backgrounds yet they are still in touch with their roots. This explains why a Yoruba will still prostrate to greet his parents, an Igbo will dorn his full native regalia in all its glory and a Hausa will speak his language freely even if he finds himself in Japan.
Hence, it is always comforting to know that no matter where they find themselves, they always represent their motherland.
Another good thing about them is that they also tend to extend this knowledge to people they come in contact with.
For instance, if you are dating a Nigerian man, chances are that he will want to pass on some of his heritage to you. Such could include teaching you the language, teaching you how women dress in his native land, teaching you how to cook some of his native meals etc. All these and more are what you stand to gain with him.
Nigerian Men Are Caring
Nigerian men are caring. They will ensure you are well taken care of because they will like to show you off to their friends.
A typical Nigerian man always wants his woman (girlfriend or wife) to stand out from the rest. He would want his friends to see that his hard earned money is being channeled into the right source.
He may not have the best of clothes, shoes or cars but where his woman and kids are concerned, he would stop at nothing to give them the best.
In a particular state in the Eastern part of the country, people have gatherings and then they show off their beautiful wives or girlfriends to see who looks more beautiful and better taken care of. That is the extent Nigerian men can go to just to give them the best.
Despite having a lot of good sides, dating a Nigerian man also has its own fair share of troubles. In fact, it has quite a number of disadvantages. They are not perfect after all right? .
The only thing is to decide within you to accept them with their baggages and all. You will have to decide if you can deal with their own type of issues.
Disadvantages Of Dating A Nigerian Man
Below are some of the disadvantages of being with a Nigerian man:
Nigerian Men are Smooth Talkers Just Liker Most Black Men
If you did not know this, know it now that Nigerian men have the gift of the garb. They can talk their way out of literally any situation. If you think you have caught him in a wrongdoing, you just wait till he starts giving you reasons why he did what he did.
By the time he is done, you will begin to question if he was actually wrong or if it was you that was actually wrong. He may confuse you so much with a lot of stories that at the end of the day, you will end up saying sorry to him and the funny thing is that you will not even know why you are apologizing.
Because they are smooth talkers, it means they lie a lot too. They have perfected the skill to the extent that they can lie with a straight face. This is why it is very easy for them to conceal things such as unfaithfulness because you will never catch them. And even if you do, the way they will beg and soothe you will surely make you want to give them a second chance. This has to be like top on the list of the disadvantages of being with them.
Nigerian Men Are are Too Ambitious
Yes most definitely. Especially those of the ******* extraction. They are so ambitious to the extent that they can do practically anything to make money to fulfill their dreams.
Some men may rob, steal, kill etc just to make money. With this state of mind, they are highly unpredictable and can do anything. There has been reported instances where this state of mind drove them to crime and some of them paid with their lives.
This ‘hustling’ spirit in them is very good but at the same time, the downsides are many as well. All in all, you have to be very careful when dating a Nigerian man. You must ensure first that you actually know what he does for a living.
Some Nigerian men are into a lot of shady deals while camouflaging it under the guise of legitimacy such that you will need a discerning eye to truly find out. Therefore give it some time. Get to know him for a good number of time. Do not just settle for word of mouth or what his friends tell you (they are most probably doing the same thing). Confirm by yourself before saying yes to him.
Some Of Them May Be Dishonest
This is so especially when they are dealing with their fellow businessmen. Due to their very ambitious spirit, they can do virtually anything to succeed in business regardless of who gets hurt. Some of them go into rituals and human sacrifice, contraband goods, selling fake drugs, advanced fee fraud (popularly known as 419) armed robbery etc. Most times, the people involved in this will also have a business doing (this time a legitimate one) in order to confuse people.
Note: am not saying this to badmouth any Nigerian man but this is not that common among well-cultured Nigerian men, it only happens among the bad guys present in every tribe across the country. So don’t go about assuming that all Nigerian men are bad.
Some women have been married to Nigerians only to realize after some years of marriage that their husband whom they thought was into the business of spare parts, or other business types was actually am armed robber or involved in other nefarious acts. So you need to be very careful when dealing with all men in general not only Nigerian men.
The essence of this point is not to suspect every cute Nigerian men that approach you for a relationship, just make sure you watch out for red signals before you say I do. This applies to all men in general.
Nigerian Men Are Rigid To Foreign Culture
Remember the part of them loving the Western world but also being in touch with their roots? Great. So this part also has a downside to it. Although they are highly adaptive to every culture, the truth still remains that they are very loyal to their own culture which may be restricting or too rigid to foreigners.
For instance, if you are a foreigner looking to marry a Nigerian man, there are certain aspects that will need to be modified in your own life. There are also certain aspects that you also need to pick up in order to properly fit in and be accepted.Such aspects include learning their language, cooking their native foods greeting them and of course, tour dressing will have to change especially when coming to see them in the village.
The thing is that most times even after doing all of this, you may still not be fully accepted or accepted at all. Sometimes even after marrying a foreigner, the family of the man (sometimes with his permission) goes ahead to arrange another secret wedding for him with someone from their tribe. The second woman is also supposed to have children for him. They believe that the children from the foreigner have mixed blood and are therefore seen as not fully representing them but the ones born by the second wide, they are regarded as full fledged and representing their blood line and everything the family stands for.
Nigerian Men May Have More Than One Wives
Africans from time immemorial are known to be polygamous. The truth is that though Christianity and modernity seems to have wiped out some of these, it is still believed that an African man is a polygamist by heart (the Nigerian man most definitely is no exception).
So sometimes women married to them face the issue of having another woman in the line. Sometimes, even if they do not marry the woman, they usually have children with her and then keep them somewhere else.
Most times, the man may not want to do this but his family cheers him on. Telling him that a man needs more than one woman. So you also have to put this into serious consideration unless of course you do not mind sharing your man with some other woman.
All in all, dating a Nigerian is blissful and a worthwhile experience. You just have to decide to deal with the bad sides while enjoying the good sides.
For more relationship and romance articles, visit our Relationship Column.
Read the Naija women version of this article here.