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Be Careful! Your Friends May Be Messing Your Relationships Up For You Without Your Notice

friends ruining relationships

October 29, 2017 – Be Careful! Your Friends May Be Messing Your Relationships Up For You Without Your Notice

By Kate  Halim

Friends can be the best thing in the world. But at times, they can be the worst too. Your friends may seem nice and trustworthy, but are they improving your relationship with your partner or ruining it?

Do you find yourself jumping from one relationship to another all the time? Do you think there’s something wrong with you? Sometimes, it may not be you. It may be your friends who are unknowingly messing your relationships up for you without your notice.

It may be jealousy, malice or a veiled attempt to be better than you, but sometimes even the best of friends can turn out to be real backstabbers, at least when it comes to love.

Here are circumstances when your friends could turn out to be your worst relationship nightmare.

Your friends think your date’s not good enough

You date someone you really like but your friends think your date’s obnoxious or ugly? At times like these, you may start wondering yourself if you have made the wrong choice. And once you start thinking, it’s easy to mentally turn even a perfect partner into an ugly hag.

Friends who constantly want your attention

Do your friends constantly butt in when you are hanging out with your new lover? To your friends, gate crashing your romantic date may seem like a laugh. But it can actually piss your new date off.

If your friends constantly whine about how much time you spend with your new squeeze? Real friends give you a choice. Bad friends only care about their own fun.

Talking about past relationships

Past relationships are always sensitive. When you and your date are hanging out with your friends, do your friends constantly talk about your exes or about the way you used to behave around an ex just to have a laugh?

Friends who want you to cheat

Your friend may love one night stands, but they really shouldn’t be trying to convince you to do the same when you are in a relationship. It’s easy to be manipulated by friends you trust, but sometimes you need to space yourself from these kinds of friends who don’t want your romantic relationships to evolve into something better.

Friends who make you ignore your lover

When you are out with your lover and your friends, do your friends constantly try to keep you occupied or try to split both of you into separate conversations?

Friends who make you ignore your lover by constantly trying to keep you engrossed in another conversation or take you to another part of the room are never good for your budding relationship.

Friends who flirt with your lover

There are bad friends and then there are worse. Friends who flirt with your new date behind your back are the worst kind. If your friend tries to put you down, or calls up your lover and speaks for hours when you are not around, there’s a good chance that your friend is looking for ways to break both of you up and enter the picture.

They disrespect your partner

Do you feel like your friends ignore your new lover or treat them disrespectfully while hanging out together? If you feel it, chances are, it’s true. When your friends disrespect your date, it reflects badly on you as a lover.

Your friends speak ill of you

Do your friends treat you disrespectfully when you are with your date? Your friends should help you impress your date and win a lover over, not make you look bad. If your friends put you down in front of your lover, they’re probably jealous or annoyed.

They always show the worst side

Do your friends offer bad advice or tell you to break up with your partner over the smallest of reasons? If your friends always make you see the worst in your partner, they may not be such good friends after all. If they have good reasons, perhaps they are only trying to help you.

Your friends know your amorous secrets

If you have been good friends for a while, your friends would definitely know your dirty secrets. Do your friends pull your leg or threaten to reveal all your dirty secrets in front of your new lover when all of you go out together? Even if it’s just a joke and they don’t say anything out loud to your new lover, these kinds of conversations will always rouse doubts in your new lover and may even strain your new relationship beyond repair.

Friends who know too much

Do your friends know every little secret about your partner? You may like those discussions you have with your friends about partners, and affairs, but your partner may not like it when you share your relationship’s intimate details with your friends. Avoid talking about intricate details with your friends, especially when it comes to your partner and their embarrassing areas

[Kate Halim writes at]



  1. Bright

    October 30, 2017 at 3:36 AM

    I luv dat,good write up for thought.

  2. Jilo

    October 31, 2017 at 2:08 PM

    Yes! there are some facts in what sister Kate have said above. I have had a bad experience from one of my friends similar to what Aunty Kate have cited above.

    A friend of mine whom we sleep and dine together ruined my relationship with my girl friend just because he knew my secret and revealed everything to her. I might have been secretly poisoned by that girl if not because my travelling came in impromptu. When I left Nigeria at that time one of our friends wrote me a letter that my friend actually married my girl.

    This is a long story but I will cut it short. This happened in early 90’s when we were both teaching in one of secondary school. During my courtship with that girl, we both paid her a visit at her house. She just happened to be a sister to one of my students then, that was how I met her and I never suspected that my friend was interested in her too. If he had told me his intent, I would have let him have her but he started revealing the top secret about my life behind my back without me knowing to this girl.

    He told her how I have been planning to travel to Europe and how I have been keeping secret from her just because he wanted to have his way. The worst secret that he revealed to her was that i have this other girl, she mentioned her name, who recently gave birth to a baby boy for me. That secret was not directly revealed by me but he accidentally got to know about it when my mother visited me and I was not around and my mother left a message that my girl has given a birth to my baby son that I should travel down home. Since he knew that, he got all weapon to use against me.

    This is true life story about myself. Just to let you all know that there are some good friend and bad ones. When I came back from Lagos after I have gotten my VISA, the girl started pouring all my secret and called me all sorts of names, betrayer, 419, liar. I tried to explain but she wouldn’t listen. She could have poisoned me that day and I might have not have the second chance to tell this story.

    I later called my friend and questioned him who told that girl the secret that only me and him knew about, he denied having said anything to her but at that time, I did not have much time dragging the issue because my travelling was imminent. Later one of our friends who was not really close to us told me that he too has been suspecting them. Everybody in that community was surprised that my best friend eventually got married to my proposed partner because we were really close.

    What really got me upset about the whole thing is how he put my life on the line to satisfy his own interest. He should have let me explain this to that girl by myself. Lesson, I think God just wants to reveal the type of friend he is. It happens and that is life.

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